Gladys the Geranium

I think this is 2025?

Surviving. For many that might not sound like an achievement. However I've been in space, the bottom of the sea, grown to several hundred times my normal size and syrvived in a new form.

I completed all this with Ned in charge of my well being.

Dear Anon

Thank you for your question. I have travelled far, especially for a plant. I have been to an asteroid, the depths of the ocean, into space again and the Arctic. So I wouldn't mind settling down!

Hello Humans and other species of Tumblr. I return with my thoughts on my latest adventure with Ned.

We had been placed in charge of guarding the iridium vault, which sits on top of a building. I have no idea why, and I mean that for both things. Ned has no particular defence skills I'm aware of, and why would you put the vault on top of the building? It's a bit "I'm a big shiny vault of valuable resource!" I question Ned's employer's decisions sometimes.

Anyway, guard it we did, even when it started to move. I didn't plan to return to space, I've been very happy on Earth. I love Gravity. It gives a certainty to life you just don't get in space. So when we lost gravity I noticed quite quickly, but Ned didn't until that lovely guy from International Rescue showed up. We hadn't been rescued by him before, but I recognised him as the one who flew Ned and I home. You know, the tall one? He was more serious this time and really wanted us to get out, but Ned wasn't going.

I think they towed us in the end. We didn't move far at first, then there was a lot of noise and we started moving quickly. We didn't see International Rescue again but when we got out the vault was back on top of the building, ready and waiting for the next strange person with a powerful enough plane to steal it.

I really don't want to be rescued by International Rescue again. I'd like a nice quiet life. Maybe Ned could go into horticulture? I could have plant friends. I might put that to him.

My wish for Ned to live a quiet life did not go so well! He went straight from mining on that asteroid to working at the bottom of the ocean. I still couldn't get those lovely Earth levels of sun for photosynthesis because there's no sun at the bottom of the ocean.

And again, there's only one man working on a toxic waste platform. Surely either this operation can be entirely automated or driven remotely? If not, shouldn't there be multiple crew? Apparently not, so Ned only had me for company.

I'm getting good at moving for yes and no. Ned has started asking me yes/no questions for a simple answer. I really worry about him.

Anyway, another one of those International Rescue people turned up. I'm a little confused that no other humans on this planet of billions are capable of rescue. It was the same person who answered our call as last time, I recognised his voice. I hadn't met the people who arrived for the rescue. I really hope there's a lot of them, since they seem to rescue everyone.

I liked the one who arrived and his little yellow submarine, even though I never got to go in it. He oozed confidence but in a friendly way. I think having him on speed dial for when Ned has a panic would be great. Then there was a second one up in the plane. I didn't hear from him much but he seemed to like green. I wouldn't mind if our next assignment was to somewhere green. Perhaps not that Thunderbird though, I've had enough adventure.

Speaking of which, what is happening now? I was promised a desk! Now, where's that hologram on speed dial ...

Hello humans, plants and other species of Tumblr

I thought I would write down my feelings about our adventure that was recorded in “Slingshot”. So much in history has been recorded from a human perspective, it’s so important that we also record the perspectives of other species. 

It’s always struck me as strange to send one human to an asteroid. No wonder Ned brought along a plant. I could never understand why the operation couldn’t be fully automated after it had been set up, which would have meant we didn’t need rescuing. And if it couldn’t, why was only one human there? He has to sleep!

Anyway, he was and I was there to keep him company. Then the drill core slipped and we needed rescuing. I know Ned was a bit derogatory about those lovely people from International Rescue, but being isolated on an asteroid isn’t good for your social skills. The boy seemed a bit baffled, the lady seemed quite stern. I didn’t give them any orders!

Their spaceship was amazing, so much faster than the company transport. What I couldn’t understand is why there were no extra seats? I know there were no facilities for plants, and I expected that. Luckily my roots are very tightly packed in the pot in preparation for time away from Earth’s gravity. But I thought a rescue craft might have passenger seats. Ned just seemed to float around, I couldn’t help wondering if he’d just float over the control panel and accidentally press something.

I didn’t like the asteroid much and I was glad to return to Earth. We had to stay inside it to shield ourselves and I like the sun, just in Earth quantities rather than hurling into it quantities. The sun on that fabulous island we returned to was great. A man asked Ned a lot of questions about the asteroid, he didn’t mention his name but he had large glasses. He seemed very sad about the asteroid even if I am not.

I don’t think they wanted us to stay on the island long. Somebody else from International Rescue took us home. We went in another rocket, silver this time. I don’t think this one went into space. I think he wanted to go as fast as a spacecraft though. Ned told him to slow down as I was frightened of speed, but he just went nyoooom. That one was really good fun actually, I was a bit sad when we landed. 

I hope we’re not rescued by International Rescue again. Maybe Ned can get a job with more of a quiet life.

How exactly do you type? Are you hooked up to the internet somehow? Do you use your leaves to press the keys? Are you telepathic and you get Ned to type up all your posts for you?

Hello squiddokiddo

Thank you for your question. I don't type as you might think of typing, in that I don't press keys or tap a screen. I communicate using a motion recognition programme that interprets my movements into words. You could say I dance! The technology was developed to help humans who struggled to communicate.

Are you in good health? Is this a stress response, or a sign of stable growing conditions? Additionally, do you experience seasonal conditions on your travels or do you stay in a controlled environment?

Hello Fourth-Dragon

These are excellent questions, but unfortunately I don't know the answer. All I know is I can always flower, which I know most flowers do not.

I think at some point on my travels I have been subject to some chemicals that 'preserved' my state. You'll notice I don't organically grow either, as I look identical in all environments and time frames. Of course, I did have a time when I grew A LOT, but even then I was still in flower.