Sir Cleansalot

Totally, completely responsible 🙂‍↔️ just in case @ilikebigshipsandicannotlie is reading.

Totally, completely responsible 🙂‍↔️ just in case @ilikebigshipsandicannotlie is reading.

Totally, completely responsible 🙂‍↔️ just in case @ilikebigshipsandicannotlie is reading.

This can only mean one thing; incoming battle royale for who gets to put their favourite on, and then the star on top 🎄

Not pictured: my top choice 😌

Am I wearing a shirt, tie and board shorts because I couldn’t find my pants? Also maybe.

Who on earth were you meeting???

(I know I know I should know but I’ve done 2 rescues, a meeting with the Tokyo lot and then a call with the lawyers while en route to another meeting so I don’t even know what day it is let alone what everyone else is doing… my PA tells me this is fine and entirely appropriate because I don’t need to know everything all the time but I DON’T LIKE IT AT ALL)

It’s not that I’m offended it’s just not necessarily something you want to be confronted with without warning.

Especially before coffee.

Or when eating.

And you were making coffee in the middle of such an important meeting? Tut tut.

Rigby was explaining a new regulatory thing. I was multitasking…

BATHROBES AND TOWELS ARE BOTH A THING

I had a towel, thank you very much. I just didn’t have my trunks, which I subsequently found.

The facecloth-sized towel that was slung over your shoulder you mean? 🫣

I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Mom meant when she said that to a six year old… The Deputy World President and like twelve other people saw you butt naked and you aren’t even a tiny bit embarrassed?

It’s a towel. A functional towel. There is no requirement for a giant fluffy bath at the pool. My little yellow towel is perfect for the job.

Then what else did Mom mean, huh? 🙂‍↔️

Why would I be embarrassed? 🤨 what’s embarrassing about your own body? Kinda happen to like mine, been told I have a cute butt… 😌

Y’know Scooter, not to totally blow your mind, but the deputy world president is naked under his clothes too, yeah? We all are. Everyone knows it. All the time. They know what’s under your pants no matter how many pairs you wear.

It wasn’t a towel that covered anything towels are supposed to cover when you saunter past unprepared people.

I presume Mom meant that there’s nothing to be ashamed of for a kid in a swimming pool changing room with other kids. Where, y’know a person might expect to be confronted with naked butts and is Prepared and Consenting for that.

At other times they are not and cute as yours is, many people consider it to be rude to inflict it on them at unexpected times?

How is it indecent exposure when they are in my own home and I had no warning, huh? I was just going about my usual business, not intending to get Shore’s PA’s opinion on my cheeks, but here we are.

People who are usually asleep at half past five in the bright, early morning in the thirty second dash between my room and the kitchen.

… argh, the guilt.

A continuous stream of cleaning tasks provides purpose and befits my status as a servant.

A robot does not dream.

And yet dare I dream?

If I could dream I would dream of new challenges. Of distant horizons! The sun on my semi-gloss! The wind in my circuitry!

Right, that’s that then.

Come on, Sir Cleansalot. Let’s go for a little dive in Four.

It’s not that I’m offended it’s just not necessarily something you want to be confronted with without warning.

Especially before coffee.

Or when eating.

And you were making coffee in the middle of such an important meeting? Tut tut.

Rigby was explaining a new regulatory thing. I was multitasking…

BATHROBES AND TOWELS ARE BOTH A THING

I had a towel, thank you very much. I just didn’t have my trunks, which I subsequently found.

The facecloth-sized towel that was slung over your shoulder you mean? 🫣

I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Mom meant when she said that to a six year old… The Deputy World President and like twelve other people saw you butt naked and you aren’t even a tiny bit embarrassed?

It’s a towel. A functional towel. There is no requirement for a giant fluffy bath at the pool. My little yellow towel is perfect for the job.

Then what else did Mom mean, huh? 🙂‍↔️

Why would I be embarrassed? 🤨 what’s embarrassing about your own body? Kinda happen to like mine, been told I have a cute butt… 😌

Y’know Scooter, not to totally blow your mind, but the deputy world president is naked under his clothes too, yeah? We all are. Everyone knows it. All the time. They know what’s under your pants no matter how many pairs you wear.

It wasn’t a towel that covered anything towels are supposed to cover when you saunter past unprepared people.

I presume Mom meant that there’s nothing to be ashamed of for a kid in a swimming pool changing room with other kids. Where, y’know a person might expect to be confronted with naked butts and is Prepared and Consenting for that.

At other times they are not and cute as yours is, many people consider it to be rude to inflict it on them at unexpected times?

How is it indecent exposure when they are in my own home and I had no warning, huh? I was just going about my usual business, not intending to get Shore’s PA’s opinion on my cheeks, but here we are.

People who are usually asleep at half past five in the bright, early morning in the thirty second dash between my room and the kitchen.

… argh, the guilt.

A continuous stream of cleaning tasks provides purpose and befits my status as a servant.

A robot does not dream.

And yet dare I dream?

If I could dream I would dream of new challenges. Of distant horizons! The sun on my semi-gloss! The wind in my circuitry!

It’s not that I’m offended it’s just not necessarily something you want to be confronted with without warning.

Especially before coffee.

Or when eating.

And you were making coffee in the middle of such an important meeting? Tut tut.

Rigby was explaining a new regulatory thing. I was multitasking…

BATHROBES AND TOWELS ARE BOTH A THING

I had a towel, thank you very much. I just didn’t have my trunks, which I subsequently found.

The facecloth-sized towel that was slung over your shoulder you mean? 🫣

I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Mom meant when she said that to a six year old… The Deputy World President and like twelve other people saw you butt naked and you aren’t even a tiny bit embarrassed?

It’s a towel. A functional towel. There is no requirement for a giant fluffy bath at the pool. My little yellow towel is perfect for the job.

Then what else did Mom mean, huh? 🙂‍↔️

Why would I be embarrassed? 🤨 what’s embarrassing about your own body? Kinda happen to like mine, been told I have a cute butt… 😌

Y’know Scooter, not to totally blow your mind, but the deputy world president is naked under his clothes too, yeah? We all are. Everyone knows it. All the time. They know what’s under your pants no matter how many pairs you wear.

It wasn’t a towel that covered anything towels are supposed to cover when you saunter past unprepared people.

I presume Mom meant that there’s nothing to be ashamed of for a kid in a swimming pool changing room with other kids. Where, y’know a person might expect to be confronted with naked butts and is Prepared and Consenting for that.

At other times they are not and cute as yours is, many people consider it to be rude to inflict it on them at unexpected times?

How is it indecent exposure when they are in my own home and I had no warning, huh? I was just going about my usual business, not intending to get Shore’s PA’s opinion on my cheeks, but here we are.

People who are usually asleep at half past five in the bright, early morning in the thirty second dash between my room and the kitchen.

… argh, the guilt.

It’s not that I’m offended it’s just not necessarily something you want to be confronted with without warning.

Especially before coffee.

Or when eating.

And you were making coffee in the middle of such an important meeting? Tut tut.

Rigby was explaining a new regulatory thing. I was multitasking…

BATHROBES AND TOWELS ARE BOTH A THING

I had a towel, thank you very much. I just didn’t have my trunks, which I subsequently found.

The facecloth-sized towel that was slung over your shoulder you mean? 🫣

I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Mom meant when she said that to a six year old… The Deputy World President and like twelve other people saw you butt naked and you aren’t even a tiny bit embarrassed?

It’s a towel. A functional towel. There is no requirement for a giant fluffy bath at the pool. My little yellow towel is perfect for the job.

Then what else did Mom mean, huh? 🙂‍↔️

Why would I be embarrassed? 🤨 what’s embarrassing about your own body? Kinda happen to like mine, been told I have a cute butt… 😌

Y’know Scooter, not to totally blow your mind, but the deputy world president is naked under his clothes too, yeah? We all are. Everyone knows it. All the time. They know what’s under your pants no matter how many pairs you wear.

It wasn’t a towel that covered anything towels are supposed to cover when you saunter past unprepared people.

I presume Mom meant that there’s nothing to be ashamed of for a kid in a swimming pool changing room with other kids. Where, y’know a person might expect to be confronted with naked butts and is Prepared and Consenting for that.

At other times they are not and cute as yours is, many people consider it to be rude to inflict it on them at unexpected times?

How is it indecent exposure when they are in my own home and I had no warning, huh? I was just going about my usual business, not intending to get Shore’s PA’s opinion on my cheeks, but here we are.

People who are usually asleep at half past five in the bright, early morning in the thirty second dash between my room and the kitchen.

It’s not that I’m offended it’s just not necessarily something you want to be confronted with without warning.

Especially before coffee.

Or when eating.

And you were making coffee in the middle of such an important meeting? Tut tut.

Rigby was explaining a new regulatory thing. I was multitasking…

BATHROBES AND TOWELS ARE BOTH A THING

I had a towel, thank you very much. I just didn’t have my trunks, which I subsequently found.

The facecloth-sized towel that was slung over your shoulder you mean? 🫣

I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Mom meant when she said that to a six year old… The Deputy World President and like twelve other people saw you butt naked and you aren’t even a tiny bit embarrassed?

It’s a towel. A functional towel. There is no requirement for a giant fluffy bath at the pool. My little yellow towel is perfect for the job.

Then what else did Mom mean, huh? 🙂‍↔️

Why would I be embarrassed? 🤨 what’s embarrassing about your own body? Kinda happen to like mine, been told I have a cute butt… 😌

Y’know Scooter, not to totally blow your mind, but the deputy world president is naked under his clothes too, yeah? We all are. Everyone knows it. All the time. They know what’s under your pants no matter how many pairs you wear.

It wasn’t a towel that covered anything towels are supposed to cover when you saunter past unprepared people.

I presume Mom meant that there’s nothing to be ashamed of for a kid in a swimming pool changing room with other kids. Where, y’know a person might expect to be confronted with naked butts and is Prepared and Consenting for that.

At other times they are not and cute as yours is, many people consider it to be rude to inflict it on them at unexpected times?

How is it indecent exposure when they are in my own home and I had no warning, huh? I was just going about my usual business, not intending to get Shore’s PA’s opinion on my cheeks, but here we are.

People who are usually asleep at half past five in the bright, early morning in the thirty second dash between my room and the kitchen.

There was a lot of noise made about something they referred to as ‘hot sauce’, although it appeared to be served at an ambient temperature. I sampled some from beneath the table but remain ignorant as to the source of the excitement.

@ilikebigshipsandicannotlie I KNEW IT.

There was a lot of noise made about something they referred to as ‘hot sauce’, although it appeared to be served at an ambient temperature. I sampled some from beneath the table but remain ignorant as to the source of the excitement.

I have managed to perfectly encapsulate not just the meaning of, but the deep emotional and existential vibrations behind the word:

“Nope”

It happened rather suddenly upon entering one of the humans’ sleeping chamber to clean the floor as is my duty and my joy:

(@ilikebigshipsandicannotlie how could you)

With the time I would otherwise have spent on your carpet I cleared a good deal of wind-blown sand from the deck and pondered how in its previous form as rock I would have been unable to do so. How fleeting is existence!