Queen of (bad) Puns

From now on I am only accepting sexts in Dr. Seuss rhyme form

"What’re you up to?" His simple text said. "Just eating cereal and lying in bed." "What if I was with you?" he responded with ease, "I guess I’d get more cereal if I please." And that’s when he said it, that simpering lad, that stupid response that makes all of us mad. My mind filled with dread, with a twist in my gut, I picked up my phone and read: “Haha, and then what ;)”

Public bathrooms should have background music playing so you don’t have to sit in silence listening to EVERYTHING happening in the stalls next to you.

Tadashi just rolled over in his grave.