I love pre-Reichenbach Sherlock and Good Omens

At first, Ilya isn't sure why he’s awake.

His senses come back to him slowly. He hears the low hum of the brown noise machine Shane insisted they needed, that Ilya now cannot sleep without. The room is perfectly cool, and Ilya’s snuggled down beneath his favorite blanket. And best of all, Shane is tucked up close behind him, warm and heavy, one arm draped across Ilya's waist, soft breaths stirring the hair at the nape of Ilya's neck. Through half-lidded eyes, Ilya sees gray-blue light just beginning to filter through the curtains. The suitcases they abandoned earlier that night cast lumpy shadows on the floor. Early is all his brain supplies before he starts to drift off again.

But then he feels what woke him.

hi my baby. i can absolutely do this.

firstly, i think shane is comfortable with being 'rode hard and put away wet' so to speak in the bedroom. i think he does go outside himself in the bedroom and often he ends up in a hazy, pleasure place where he feels loose and warm and mind tingly. but i think he is actually pretty okay with the emotional experience of not receiving aftercare -- in a way bc he is used to feeling something big big big then shoving it down down down. out of ilya and shane i think ilya has the most need for aftercare -- as reassurance he did sex good and gets a passing grade. sex is something he prides himself on being good at. he gives orgasms and satisfaction and he leaves behind mindmelting memories that will fuel his lovers' spank banks for nights to come (huh cum). so i think the denial of aftercare impacts ilya's psyche perhaps more than shane's. (this is mytruth about myilya, y'all are welcome to disagree.) yes, ilya is very good at masking repressing getting on with it. he had to be from the perspective of being raised by a father like grigori that expected perfection and was intolerant of humanness as an excuse for mediocracy. but i think he needs to hear 'yes' when he asks 'worth the wait?' and he needs to kiss shane sweetly on the staircase and he needs to snuggle shane after sex to feel the physical connection closeness reassurance that he so clearly craves. he is a very physical but also sensitive guy. even if he pretends otherwise. he likes to ask 'still okay?' during he likes to ask 'was okay?' after. it makes him feel good to have it be good for you as much as he is also hedonistic and relishes in the pleasure he is experiencing. it isn't as fun if the other party isn't also feeling good -- which is why shane is so specifically perfect for him because shane is dying for it in the exact same way. but he isn't a strict domtophedonist despite the fandom's obsession with that. he is also needysubtopclingmushy at times. thus denying himself aftercare in vegas, in the form of kissing shane, is actually excruitiating for him and him self-punishing/harming bc he feels like he needs to denydenydeny because he cannot havehavehave what he wants. which is shane.

anyway, this is my thesis on aftercare and it's emotional significance between these two. shane needs it, obviously, everyone needs aftercare post sex. whatever that is -- water, snack, kissy, shower, pets, whatever -- but shane is a particular breed of self-denying asshole that we have never seen the likes of before. especially pre-relationship.

OKAY. so, to get onto what you actually wanted from me, which was not a character thesis on aftercare...

the first time they fuck really rough -- i'm talking shane bent over the armrest of his couch, the lounge scraping across the floorboards, making a horrible scree sound, knocking over an ornament on the side table. shane's head pressed into the sofa cushion, ilya's palm holding him down, pushing his face into the leather so shane is unable to move, helpless but to pant gasp moan drool on the cushion. ilya fucking snapping grinding his hips so hard it hurts a little and shane is gasping nails dragging down the side of the lounge -- is what we see post-vegas in the mymoonmyman montage. shane loses their game and ilya is chirping and goading and growling at shane the whole way up the back stairs because we know -- canonically -- that ilya likes it when shane gets frustrated and pushes him around and takes his aggression out on ilya's body. so ilya is trying to rile him up. frustrate him. he succeeds, ofc. once they are inside shane's apartment shane is shoving him hard into the foyer wall and then it's kisses so hard they hurt and biting teeth and tugging, yanking, shoving at clothes until they're both naked -- in record time -- and ilya is pushing muscling shoving shane into the lounge room. absolutely overwhelmed by lust want need completely incapable of making it up the stairs. and shane doesn't want ilya in his room. he's pissed. the game sucked. he's pissed with himself. he's pissed that he wants this after the raiders humiliated him and his team. he's pissed that he's so weak to still want to be fucked after losing. he's pissed that this is all he's been able to think about all week. he's pissed that he wants wants wants so much. it's horrible. all this wanting. so, before ilya came, he made sure there was lube and condoms in the living room bc he might want rozanov inside him but he doesn't fucking want rozanov in his room -- and also the last time they'd done this had been vegas and that had been deeply impersonal. shane had learnt his lesson. keep it impersonal. so the lounge room it would be. and shane is throwing lube at rozanov and slapping a condom into his hand and bending over the couch and hiding his face in the cushion, biting on his tongue, growling out a 'fuck you' when rozanov calls him 'eager' --because he kind of hates himself but he wants this more than he hates himself and that makes him hate himself a little bit more. and he's already prepped bc he hates how vulnerable prep makes him feel and he hates how carefully rozanov always does it and rozanov is saying 'ohh you are so eager, already wet for me' and shane is snapping 'shut up and fuck me before i change my mind' and then ilya is pushing in and its... well, as noted above, its rough. and loud. couch scraping, skin slapping, grunting, cursing, shane biting out 'fuck you, fuck you, fuck you' even as ilya is laughing saying 'i think you have this the wrong way around. i am fucking you.' and shane cums, hard, his head spinning, his back and hole aching, but it feels so fucking good too. he is slumping into the cushion and breathing hard and when ilya pulls out he hisses.

there's no aftercare. ilya is still operating under some impression he can fuck shane and not get further involved -- or he can fuck shane out of his system more accurately, thus far that is failing. so he is tying off the condom and asking 'bin?' and shane is muttering 'under the kitchen sink' and ilya is throwing it away then grabbing his clothes and dressing himself as shane is still slowly rearranging his brain. unscrambling himself. when he straightens he winces and ilya pauses, eyes fixing on shane's pinched brow then darting down to shane's ass. but shane is already yanking his sweats up his legs and saying 'we won't lose to you next time' and ilya is replacing the concerned twist of his mouth with a cocky smirk and saying 'we will see' and then he's leaving -- without a shower bc they need to keep this as impersonal as possible. but he's back at the hotel later, after a shower, and his brain keeps replaying shane's pained wince afterwards, the pinch of his brow. and he's texting 'if i fucked you so hard you can't play next game does that count as illegal tampering?' and shane is sending back 'fuck off' and ilya wants to bask in how hot how good how mindmelting the sex was but he also wants to know shane is okay and he's trying to think of how to ask without sounding like he cares when shane texts again 'i'm not one of your fucking girls. i can handle it. i'm fine' and that is that.

things change as their dynamic inevitably gravitates back towards too personal too intimate too much. as they stray away from the line of casual they are both pretending they are still tiptoeing around -- they're not tiptoeing around it. they have fully sprinted far from it into something territory but that something shall remain unacknowledged for some time yet -- during each of their hookups. the sex is very often rough, or quick and dirty, occassionally it is far far too tender and when that happens they get even more weird in the after. rushing out the fucking door like they're being chased by a ghost.

before tuna meltdown, maybe at the NHL awards the year prior, they are hooking up in shane's hotel room. shane has his knees practically at his ears, legs hooked over ilya's shoulders, and ilya is fucking into him relentless and mean and mindmeltingly hot. shane is all panting and red faced and whining and burning muscles and clawing at the bedsheets and panting hiccuping gasping for air. ilya isn't doing much better. grunting and groaning and trying his best to keep himself together but the vein in his forehead is straining and he's broken into a sweat and his chest is aching it is so tightly constricted. he'd edged them both for far too long. rolling inside of shane slow and tortorous and teasing for what felt like hours but was probably at most 10 minutes. never letting either of them get too close to the edge to cum. slapping shane's hands away if he tried to touch himself -- or ilya -- growling at him to stay beneath him and just fucking take it. and shane, obviously, despite his whines of 'pleaspleaseplease' and 'moremoremore', has been very very very happy to just fucking take it. always willing to take whatever ilya was willing to give him. but ilya eventually, after half an hour of torturing them both, decided to be gracious. and now he's fucking shane hard, so hard the headboard rattles against the wall, and both of them are entirely lost to it. shane is slack jawed and wide eyed and ilya isn't even thinking when he spits into shane's mouth. and shane is groaning and cuming as he swallows and ilya is cuming as he watches shane's throat bob with the action. and they're both panting panting panting. the room is totally quiet apart from the sounds of their shaky breaths and then ilya is very gently nudging shane's legs off his shoulders and flopping down next to shane, entirely boneless, but still somehow managing to reach out and squeeze at shane's thighs, soothing the strain in his muscles.

and they lie there for probably too long. not even saying anything. but they're touching. ilya has his hand on shane's thigh and shane has subconsciously reached out to pet at ilya's curls. they're lying like that, breathing, until shane lets out a wheezing laugh. his nose scrunching and his lips spreading into a wide grin. he feels incredible. he feels so so so good. any shame or embarrassment or self-hatred he may have felt the last half a dozen times they'd done this in the immediate aftermath is repressed right now. he's all gooey good feelings and elation and adrenaline and relief. his body feels relieved. it's so good. and ilya is lifting his head and grumbling 'the fuck is funny?' and shane is shaking is head, 'nothing, fuck that was so good' he's sighing and ilya's gut aches with it. he hadn't even realised how much he's been wanting shane to say 'fuck that was good' not until he's hearing him say it. and he knows shane likes it, otherwise he wouldn't keep coming back for it. but he finds he likes hearing it. still, he can't help but be a dick 'eh, was okay for me' and shane is huffing a laugh and punching ilya's arm and saying 'fuck you, dude' and ilya is burying his grin in the pillow beneath his head. and then pushing himself up onto his elbow, leaning over shane without even thinking, and kissing him sweetly on the mouth. a lingering, dragging kiss that gets warm and wet and deep without anywhere to go. they're not gonna fuck again. there is no way he can manage that. he's just kissing shane to kiss him. and maybe it turns into a little bit of a makeout. fingers tangling in hair and mouths kissing pulling nudging dragging until both their lips are red and sore and swollen. and maybe the makeout goes to the shower and maybe ilya tries to maintain balance by at least stroking shane in the shower. but they're still just kissing after they're cuming again. so once he's out of the water ilya is dressing as fast as he can and rushing for the door but then shane is emerging with a fluffy towel around his waist and his skin is damp and flushed and his cheeks are ruddy and ilya is kissing him again, just one two three pecks on the mouth, before he is murmuring 'see you next season, hollander' and shane is humming 'have a terirble summer' and then ilya is grinning and kissing him one more time. licking into shane's mouth -- tasting him well enough to not forget him over the summer... not that ilya ever could forget the taste of him -- and then he's leaving with a soft 'bye' and closing the door firmly behind him. absolutely not grinning to himself in the elevator ride to his room.

once they're in a relationship the aftercare shifts. they have all kinds of sex at the cottage -- romantic, playful, quick, slow, exploratory, giddy, dirty, rough, silly -- and it's after the romantic sex that shane discovers he needs aftercare specifically. and ilya is all too happy to provide. the first time they fuck make love shane nearly squirms from the discomfort. he's so hot warm tingly in the face of the intimacy of it. it feels so good but also vulnerable and foreign and even though he wantsthis wantsilya wantsthem it is still so exposing to be held like this. to be spooned from behind and touched reverently and to be entirely unable to look anywhere but into ilya's eyes. they're mouths are pressing together and they're foreheads are rubbing and they're gasping 'iloveyoufuckiloveyou' and shane feels fucking on fire. he feels like he's never done anything so filthy in his life. filthy good. it's so good. but he's squirming in the intimacy and emotionality of it. (he gets used to romantic sex with time. gets used to sighing 'iloveyousomuch' as ilya touches him and pushes into him and cums inside of him. but that first time he is unprepared.) he's sosososoinlove and in the aftermath, with ilya cuming inside him without a condom, with ilya staying inside him softening afterwards, he is all clinging tears at his lash line and cracked voice as he murmurs 'you love me' and ilya feels cracked open too -- he is probably on the verge of dissolving into goo and weeping -- but he was prepared for this. he was made for this. he has always wanted this. 'i love you i love you' he's replying and kissing over shane's flushed cheeks and his wet lashes and his sniffly nose and nudging their mouths together and then he gets to take care of his boy like he's always wanted. he's kissing shane's body tenderly and stroking his thumb over shane's slick entrance and helping shane in the shower and holding him under the spray and then feeding him apple slices by hand and giving him water and then snuggling with shane on the couch and scratching at his scalp and kissing his forehead as some movie plays in the background. and it's aftercare for him too. because this makes him feel good. this makes him feel like he got an A+ in sex lover boyfriend.

obviously they are still fucking wild and rough post-i-love-yous. probably even more rough than before. rough enough to leave marks and explore new things. shane is asking to be slapped. ilya is asking to be choked. they're going multiple rounds until shane is sobbing and overstimulated. they're giving themselves and each other sex injuries the likes of which have never been seen before. but now they get to do that with 'was okay?' 'was so okay' afterwards and tender kisses and melting cuddles and gentle carresses and soft soft soft murmurs pressed into warm skin 'iloveyou youdidsowell imsoproudofyou'

So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports

And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else

The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized

Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning

“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”

“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”

“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”

“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”

“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”

“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”

“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”

“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”

“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”

*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”

“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”

LMAO the universe is trying to silence me. This is my third attempt to write this rec list and I've switched browsers to do so. Third time's the charm hopefully

Okay so obligatory disclaimer I am not good a curating fic recs. When I read something I like I just go :] and clap like a seal and then forget to bookmark anything ever. That being said:

The big one for TPE (Total Power Exchange--a specific lifestyle dynamic that I believe there is subtle canonical evidence for in Hollanov, though nothing particularly overt and very ignorable for those who do not wish to see it; not a judgement, just a fact) is of course Decisions, Decisions by @jewelledfoxes. Always an absolute delight to read this fic, which I must have done at least half a dozen times by now. This one is also big for me because it explores a lot of Ilya's nonsexual dominance, which is important for me.

All of @creamsiclemelt's fic is amazing and so crucial to the Dom Ilya discussion, especially Ilya as a mean AND loving Dom (They're not mutual exclusive! They never have been!) If sadism is your thing or if you're even just curious about Ilya as a sadist, I'd recommend it's like you never had wings, Very very gorgeous fic about how the hockey is sex and sex is hockey.

One that I read very recently but has been sticking with me is hot, hot, sweat, sweet by livelyvague ( @shnehollander) which hits a few buttons for me, namely a flavor of dacryphilia I hadn't seen before. Basically, Ilya orders Shane to cry on his cock because he needs to see him do it before he comes. Heady stuff! Also, the title is from Rent, which is always fun.

@probablily's entire body of work is very worth a perusal. all my perversions isn't tagged with Dom Ilya but he haunts the narrative. It's Shane POV and very much an exploration of Shane's shame, (#hisshame) and humiliation kink, which Ilya facilitates of course. prinesi myach is their most recent work and it's more straightforward dom Ilya, but also pet play, and also about Ilya knowing what's good for Shane even when Shane doesn't know himself which is a classic Dom/sub dynamic that you can really sink your teeth into. Pet play isn't even really one of my big things and I read it twice in one sitting. You know it's good.

the profounder the stain by the Anonymous author of perfect from now on is another one that is not specifically tagged with Dom Ilya but that he is very present in. Their Ilya in general always has some very delicious casual dominance going on. There are several points in this fic where he comes through, such as the line where it mentioned that Ilya gives Shane head often, but rarely on his knees; and the line where Ilya just jerks his head to tell Shane it's time to come give him his goodbye kiss. Very dynamic. Also, there's a line in there that I think about constantly where Ilya slips out while Shane is riding him and Shane cries a bit and Ilya says, "I'm coming back baby" and it's like. [horny balloon emoji x1000]

I recced this one already this week but it was in a comment section so: always starving, never full by @coffeeinallcaps was verrry good. More about Shane's exhibitionism, his humiliation kink and his shame, but Dom Ilya is there and he's pulling his weight. I like this dynamic for their hookup era as well--a bit more casual and friendly than it's portrayed in canon and in a lot of fanworks but that kinda gets me going. So.

Everything by @bugslibraryy is sooooo good. Theirs is more of a soft Dom Ilya paired with needy Shane and all of it is just so sweet, like a piece of candy. Some of the things Ilya says to Shane in their fics are still so sweetly humiliating, so even if your thing is mean Dom Ilya I think you'll get a few of your jollies. Most of their stuff is housed directly on Tumblr but if you're wanting something specific i would recommend the installment from their Nurse Shane/Security Guard Ilya AU where they have midnight sex. So good and so buzzy and sweet. Bug and I share a love of combining comfort and eroticism.

Shoutout to @mybloodstream-caffeine, whose Tumblr I routinely peruse like the morning paper. They have fics of their own and routinely post about their own extremely correct opinions and those of others. I adore their musings on both dom Ilya AND sub Shane, which are two related but distinct topics that both deserve love. Lately they've been musing on overstimulation Shane, which is of course always delicious.

LMAO the universe is trying to silence me. This is my third attempt to write this rec list and I've switched browsers to do so. Third time's the charm hopefully

Okay so obligatory disclaimer I am not good a curating fic recs. When I read something I like I just go :] and clap like a seal and then forget to bookmark anything ever. That being said:

The big one for TPE (Total Power Exchange--a specific lifestyle dynamic that I believe there is subtle canonical evidence for in Hollanov, though nothing particularly overt and very ignorable for those who do not wish to see it; not a judgement, just a fact) is of course Decisions, Decisions by @jewelledfoxes. Always an absolute delight to read this fic, which I must have done at least half a dozen times by now. This one is also big for me because it explores a lot of Ilya's nonsexual dominance, which is important for me.

All of @creamsiclemelt's fic is amazing and so crucial to the Dom Ilya discussion, especially Ilya as a mean AND loving Dom (They're not mutual exclusive! They never have been!) If sadism is your thing or if you're even just curious about Ilya as a sadist, I'd recommend it's like you never had wings, Very very gorgeous fic about how the hockey is sex and sex is hockey.

One that I read very recently but has been sticking with me is hot, hot, sweat, sweet by livelyvague ( @shnehollander) which hits a few buttons for me, namely a flavor of dacryphilia I hadn't seen before. Basically, Ilya orders Shane to cry on his cock because he needs to see him do it before he comes. Heady stuff! Also, the title is from Rent, which is always fun.

@probablily's entire body of work is very worth a perusal. all my perversions isn't tagged with Dom Ilya but he haunts the narrative. It's Shane POV and very much an exploration of Shane's shame, (#hisshame) and humiliation kink, which Ilya facilitates of course. prinesi myach is their most recent work and it's more straightforward dom Ilya, but also pet play, and also about Ilya knowing what's good for Shane even when Shane doesn't know himself which is a classic Dom/sub dynamic that you can really sink your teeth into. Pet play isn't even really one of my big things and I read it twice in one sitting. You know it's good.

the profounder the stain by the Anonymous author of perfect from now on is another one that is not specifically tagged with Dom Ilya but that he is very present in. Their Ilya in general always has some very delicious casual dominance going on. There are several points in this fic where he comes through, such as the line where it mentioned that Ilya gives Shane head often, but rarely on his knees; and the line where Ilya just jerks his head to tell Shane it's time to come give him his goodbye kiss. Very dynamic. Also, there's a line in there that I think about constantly where Ilya slips out while Shane is riding him and Shane cries a bit and Ilya says, "I'm coming back baby" and it's like. [horny balloon emoji x1000]

I recced this one already this week but it was in a comment section so: always starving, never full by @coffeeinallcaps was verrry good. More about Shane's exhibitionism, his humiliation kink and his shame, but Dom Ilya is there and he's pulling his weight. I like this dynamic for their hookup era as well--a bit more casual and friendly than it's portrayed in canon and in a lot of fanworks but that kinda gets me going. So.

Everything by @bugslibraryy is sooooo good. Theirs is more of a soft Dom Ilya paired with needy Shane and all of it is just so sweet, like a piece of candy. Some of the things Ilya says to Shane in their fics are still so sweetly humiliating, so even if your thing is mean Dom Ilya I think you'll get a few of your jollies. Most of their stuff is housed directly on Tumblr but if you're wanting something specific i would recommend the installment from their Nurse Shane/Security Guard Ilya AU where they have midnight sex. So good and so buzzy and sweet. Bug and I share a love of combining comfort and eroticism.

Shoutout to @mybloodstream-caffeine, whose Tumblr I routinely peruse like the morning paper. They have fics of their own and routinely post about their own extremely correct opinions and those of others. I adore their musings on both dom Ilya AND sub Shane, which are two related but distinct topics that both deserve love. Lately they've been musing on overstimulation Shane, which is of course always delicious.