Gimgemgemma

R2-D2 ain’t a snitch. He knew Anakin was Vader, pretended not to know who Yoda and Obi Wan were, and shut himself down when Luke didn’t want to be found. No wonder he was trusted with the Death Star plans. R2 is the ultimate ride or die droid.

All of the orgasms in fic are so violent. His orgasm came like a punch to the gut. It hit him like a mack truck. It knifed him in a fucking alley. What these orgasms need is a good education.

the orgasm tapped him on the shoulder politely because it wasn’t raised in a goddamn barn

By the time he came back to himself, the orgasm had washed the dishes, vacuumed the living room, and retrieved his lost house key from under the chaise lounge.

The idea of spontaneously getting on a train and going somewhere far might be romantic in another country but England is too small for that. Pull an Eternal Sunshine and go where? Fucking Slough? Go to fucking Slough and get a fucking boots meal deal?

i only understand about 60% of the words in this post but i still think its funny

@rudjedet

HORACE

HORACE! FUCK YEAH! MOTHER FUCKING GOD OF THE MOTHER FUCKING SUN YEAH!

there is a VERY chaotic Cupid running around this village

The Original Man here 

The literal embodiment of that “I’m sorry these are all the arrows I have left” meme

this reads like a short one shot