Y'all Got Fake Poo?

Yeah I’m looking forward to the BAFTAs…the Big Ass Fart and Turd Awards 😏

You shouldn’t have sex scenes in films because what if you’re at the cinema and a rude scene happens and a guy in the audience shouts ‘Yabba dabba do, now I’m horny too!!’ and begins hip thrusting?? What then?? It’s not safe.

Absolutely horrendous anxiety. Really just terrible. Awful!

Guy showing off his hotel room TV: Yeah this bad boy gets 2 and sometimes 3 channels. Sometimes you can even make out what’s on them. Huh? Yeah, it’s a 10 incher. Wanna pivot it so that you can watch it while you take a shit?

Guy who doesn’t know what the oscars are: Everyone’s talking about the oscars. Who’s going to take home the Big Oval. Who’s going to get drowned in slime. Will the dead ever find justice. We’re all scared.

Everyone’s like ‘why does ghostface have a shotgun in Scream 6?’ and ignoring the important question: does he got his nuts and peen out under that robe?

10 episodes is too many episodes for me to keep up with. TV shows should have one episode. That episode should be 120 minutes long. It should have Roy Scheider in it. It should be a quasi-biographical retelling of the life and death of a Broadway choreographer.

Tearing all the dvds off the shelf of the criterion closet and having a panic attack because they won’t show me where the Joe Dirt section is