sophie

What’s your url?

Now take away any and all numbers (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0), take away the letters F, Z, M, Q, L, H, B, T, P, E, A, Y, S, B, D, and X, take away all dashes (-),

What’s your new fucked up version of your url?

crustycreature

#KEEP THIS ALIVE

wow, thanks! I’ve never rly been asked abt this before, but if you’re curious, here’s how I do it.

I’ll use something simple as an example. Like Kermit!

yeah of course, man.

I use paper and pencil like any other ragamuffin, then outline it with my handy dandy tracing pen

Don’t sass me, frog. Then do all the editing in Photos. A bunch of brightness and exposure adjustment, etc

I used to use colored pencils and markers but it’s been more efficient to just use the mark-up tool, which I should’ve probably looked up tutorials for from the beginning instead of fumbling my way through it, but c’est la vie.

No argument there. And I make whichever fixes I can. I’ll usually want to color the background or add some other lil stuff too (shading, maybe)

Lately, to end with, I’ve been putting the pics through the filters to see what they look best in.

But sometimes, as in this case, I think the original looks best

And tada, my doodle is complete!

“…did you mess up on something? that last one looks a lil differe—“ NO IT DOESN’T.

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

the original post

One day, I get ALL As except an A- in English. I had worked hard for that A-, English was my worst class, and I had been getting consistent Bs and B-s for the past few semesters. He sees my report card, points at the A-, and says “what happened there? Maybe we should start working on that next semester.”

Seriously guys, this is fucked up.

My little brother? He got at least 2 B’s last year and it’s totally fine. I got an 89% in Psych 2 last year that I didn’t know about and I was torn a new one. Why? “Because you are smart and you can get an A.”

It took until 9th grade for 90-95% to be more acceptable. I took an AP class and the moment I dipped below an A I was banned from interactions with friends outside of school. 

All because I was “gifted” as a child. Because I was told I was smarter by default. And where am I now? Every failed answer I berate myself and then spiral, and spiral further because “I’m too smart to not control myself”. With every test that I get less than an A on I want to cry.

And the best part is that my parents are teachers and refuse to listen to me tell them that all of this screws with my head. How can I love myself when my standards are tests and grades?

And then classmates constantly asking you what your grade was because they want to compare their grades to what “the smart kid” got.

My parents don’t give a shit what my grades are, one barely got through highschool and the other was good in a few areas but struggled in many others. I got my first C in the eighth grade and I sobbed for hours. And you know what? My classmates were the ones who hassled me.

I remember another class where I raised my hand to give the answer, and got it wrong, by one number. Everybody in the classroom broke down in laughter and that was the joke of the day. I will still hesitate to answer questions in class 4 years later, because it wasn’t just the once.

When kahoot became a thing right at the end of my high school career I would win without breaking a sweat. It got to the point where if I slipped up and came second, the whole class would cheer, burst into applause, treat whoever scored higher than me like a hero. So I started losing on purpose. I calculated how long I’d have to wait to select an answer, how many answers I needed to get wrong to stay in the top 5 but stay out of the top 3 because it was easier that way. Eventually, the cheering whenever I didn’t come first stopped. I didn’t have my classmates celebrating my failure anymore, but it would still leave me feeling sick to my stomach for having to play dumb, to feel like nothing because all I was good for was my smarts and that was what made my peers hate me the most.

Fast forward to 2 years ago. I’m a student at uni and suddenly being smart is a good thing. Finally I can go from being nothing to being smart again! My first ever uni essay got an A+ and I was so excited because I had missed feeling like I was worth something. Except then almost every essay or project I got assigned after that ended in tears because I was so terrified of not getting an A or an A+ because, in my mind, if I did then I’d be back there, back when I was nothing, no one, worthless.

This term was about two months, and I was sick at home for half of it. I had 26 absences on my report card. Oftentimes I will get sick for long periods of time during the school year, but this is by far the longest. What I don’t think people realize is that me getting sick is almost definitely tied to my stress levels. Every single “gifted kid” I know cycles in and out of burnout or is constantly on the edge of it. The hassling and the rude comments are not a one off thing, they feed the fire of stress and anxiety about school that we have. And eventually that does accumulate and leads to a damaged psyche and sometimes physical illness.

Hey yall I hope yall are in good spirits! If you know me you know I have been experiencing housing insecurity since i moved out of my transphobic & abusive families house in September 2019 after my older brother punched me in the face because I didnt have time to take the trash out. My cousin (@ttstar on IG) decided to join forces in finding safe & affordable housing due to her being in an abusive situation where her ex boyfriends mother. She was calling the police on us for our religious practices, putting her hands on her for praying in the kitchen & threatening to break her 8 year old son, Messiah’s, fingers for eating an ice cream sandwich. We could really use any & all assistance trying to find an affordable, safe & positive home to raise this sweet child & keep ourselves out of harms way. please please please consider donating! even $5 goes a long way!

to help out a black trans women:

https://cash.app/$AaliyahBreaux

https://www.paypal.me/desbreaux

to help a single mother & her 8 year old son:

https://cash.app/$Ttstarrmulah