slime scholar

an 18-wheeler died on the side of the highway the other day. a pack of scavenging motorcycles was eating its carcass. one of them growled at me

these hips don't lie but the truths they tell are strange and disquieting

i love explaining the etymology of the word "rickroll" because the story starts with "ok, so at one point 4chan applied a filter to everyone's posts that changed the word egg to duck"

sometimes i get home from an event with my family and i just have to sit in my car for a second & read that one sarah schulman quote on familial homophobia

How many people do you think have lezzed out in Antarctica

not enough

millions of penguins probably have

This is so true and such a good point

what did dads even do before wd-40

big day for substances like easily one of the top days for substance use

all lunch breaks should be paid im serious. im not even enjoying this im literally just making sure i dont pass out or something. this is part of The Job as far as im concerned

I’m a teacher assistant for spanish grammar and the professor was explaining epícenos (single gendered words that encompass masculine and feminine beings) and he was using iguana as an example and he said: “there is only one gender… iguana” and i had to mute my microphone

I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself