hugh

Babe are you okay I saw you reblogging "here's the life I've always longed for"

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

A laptop is a living creature. It has weight to it. A laptop breathes and produces body heat. And it wants to die badly. Mobile phones are not sentient like that & that's why they don't experience mental illness. A phone problem is like "out of storage :(" or "charging port broke". Laptops will cough weakly as they fade in and out of consciousness

You will hold a laptop in your arms and it's like "I can't feel my legs". And you tell it girl you never had any

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

just because an ant wont die from falling off a building doesnt mean he wont be crying and screaming the whole way down

Frenchmen be like “this pitch black cave full of skeletons is not scary enough, I must make it worse”

i love being subscribed to dracula daily as a person that only knows the broad plot of the book Dracula. i feel like im going out for lunch with jonothan harker and hes telling me about a ye olde grinder hookup he had that was basically a tour of the red flag factory