my name's Sawyer and welcome to Jackass

fellas is it gay to eat your wife’s cookin

Adventure Time was just like “here’s s fart joke, here’s a talking piece of candy, here’s an absolutely soul crushing scene where a woman realizes that the man who saved her from starvation and dangerous mutated humans in the aftermath of a brutal global nuclear war no longer remembers her fully or who he used to be because the thing that kept him alive all those years also drove him completely insane and now she finally has to accept that he’ll never truly be the same friend she once knew and decides that even though he does questionable and sometimes dangerous stuff now because of his insanity she’ll still accept him back into her life as he is because he’s still important to her and probably needs a friend now that his mental state has caused him to be alienated by most other people, here’s another fart joke

tumblr is an awful place full of awful people and i hate every single one of you. “mr. sandman” came on and without blinking i sang man me a sand. 

Make him the cutest car door man hook hand

This is genuinely frightening

You know when a horror movie has so many jokes it feels more like a comedy? This is the exact opposite of that

It Follows (2014)

I remember reading somewhere that there’s a fine line between comedy and horror, this video crossed that fine line like 10 times.

Feeling highly lustful on this night and, a little bit gluttonous !

Sluttonous

You have my vote

i hate when memes become outdated and i have to deprogram myself from referencing them anymore. whenever my mouth says “this is so sad” my brain immediately follows it up with “alexa play despacito” but i’m not ALLOWED to say that anymore

If my parents can use slang from the 80s without even feeling self-conscious then I can use a meme that’s a little stale

i got a round face w/ chubby cheeks bc i have loved stored in them 

It’s a Monty Python skit.

everyone had a phase as a kid where they wanted to eat random leafs off of trees and land before time is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT responsible for this phenomenon