reality? idk her

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to leave

I can’t wait to fucking leave

I

Cannot

Wait

To

Leave

don’t insult yourself. it seems like you’re looking to make them feel bad for you. it also makes it look like you’re playing victim. (ex: “i’m a shitty person.” “i should just die.” “i’m just stupid.”)

say, for example, “i feel like you dislike me” instead of “you dislike me.” you don’t actually know how they feel and being accusatory like that is a huge turn off.

when apologizing, make it genuine. don’t bring up how you feel and instead apologize for how you made the other person feel. how you feel can be brought up later.

remind people that you genuinely want to get better and tell them to call you out when you exhibit problematic behavior.

Calm Harm can be tailored to your needs and will provide strategies to help you get past those crucial moments of wanting to harm.

It’s also totally FREE.

like or reblog if u post about

personality disorders

psychosis

metal illness in general

abuse

recovery

trauma

good wholesome memes

coping memes

cute shit

art and writing, yrs or otherwise

I’ll probably follow u!!

pls

I got asked in anon what BPD is and what the symptoms and features are in it (Borderline Personality Disorder/Emotional Regulation Disorder). I decided to make a post instead as this is very important for awareness and education. BPD is a chronic mental disorder caused by emotional hypersensitivity + dysregulation In BPD, neurobiological emotion and systematic reactions fire off rapidly, longer, easily, and with more intensity as they are hypersensitivity and do not regulate, balance out, or process well and the same as others. As it is a chronic disorder, it is life-long, cannot be ‘cured’ so to speak, though symptomology may be managed through treatment. BPD has been known to be an extremely complex, debilitating, condition overall.  As it is a personality disorder, this means it affects the baseline areas of one’s every day life- functioning, behavior, emotion, thought pattern, perception, and interaction (Rather than in discrete mood episodes like depressive disorders/manic-depressive disorders or an anxiety disorder, etc). Factors that contribute to the development of this disorder consist of: -A result of an overactive sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight system- easily triggered by panic, anger, anxiety, etc) -An under-active parasympathetic nervous system (The system that is responsible to regulate the fight or flight system) -Less active and smaller in volume abnormalities in the limbic system which has functions linked to: emotional reactions, memory, decision making, motivation, behavior, learning and developmental ability, thought pattern, instincts, psychotic symptoms, seizures, and senses/the way the body perceives external stimuli. -Reduced volume in frontal lobe which has functions linked to: decision making, communication responses, ability to comprehend consequences, emotional-based memories and triggers, and relations to people, events and situations. -Abnormal blood flow to parts of the brain that control emotions, resulting in one to be more reactive -Emotional reactions firing off 20% longer -And other factors (genetic factors, reinforced through trauma/environmental factors, etc). They frequently occur as a reaction to an outside stimulant.   As the reactions fire off rapidly, longer, easily, and with more intensity, this leads to a series of severe symptoms: Depression instead of sadness, humiliation instead of embarrassment, rage instead of anger, euphoric reactions instead of excitement/happiness. Particularly, main symptoms include: 1. Persistent depressive symptoms- dysphoria, hopelessness, chronic feelings of emptiness, frequent feelings of being miserable, pervasive shame, feelings of inferiority, and extreme difficulty recovering from such symptoms 2. Anxiety based symptoms: Tenseness, panic, anxiety, and nervousness, persistent worries, apprehensions, feelings of ‘falling a part or losing control, etc. 3. Anger/rage symptoms: Unbearable discomfort, extreme rage and discomfort in response to ‘minor’ slights/remarks, situations, or events, active opposition, aggression, etc. 4. Identity and sense of self based symptoms: Dysphoria (Dissatisfaction, uselessness, worthlessness), unstable/radical behavior and/or appearance changes, despising oneself, excessive self-criticism, fluctuating between and a lack of direction with goals, values, morals, opinions, aspirations, choices,  etc. 5. Real or perceived abandonment, rejection, and criticism based symptoms: Extreme reactions to such, such as lack/loss of autonomy, dependency, intense grief, humiliation, negative bias, or other reactions (anger, depression, etc) 6. Impulsive and/or reckless based symptoms: sense of urgency to engage in impulsiveness, extreme intrusive thoughts and urges for a relief of emotional turmoil, acting on the moment in response to a reaction and stimuli, acting without plan or consideration, difficulty establishing/following plans, etc; and/or a lack of care for well-being, denial of one’s limits, danger, and outcomes, and engagement in reckless behaviors such as substance abuse, reckless driving, spending, sex, etc.. 7. Thought pattern based symptoms: Splitting and idealization/devaluation (x) 8. Suicidal ideations (gestures, preoccupied and extensive thoughts, role playing, planning, etc) and self-harm (cutting, burning, bone breaking, bruising, etc) 9. People with BPD may often experience transient reactions of paranoia and dissociation… and/or of psychotic symptoms (meaning symptoms that lack reality): (can include paranoia), hallucinations, delusions, body dysmorphic figures, etc, in response to an intense emotion. 10. (As partly mentioned) they frequently and typically occur as a reaction to an outside stimulant. Emotional hypersensitivity/reactivity- reactions that are quick happening, easily aroused, intense, and can last minutes, hours, or even extreme seconds, and sometimes days, while other times, symptoms can remain more persistent (e.g. depressivity).

Then there various other symptoms and features to this very complex, and unfortunately, highly stigmatized and misunderstood disorder. Because of the complexity and various symptoms, and since the reactions affect “all” the ranges of emotions, it is often described as ‘on the borderline’ of multiple different conditions and symptoms (depression, anxiety, dissociative, etc). Here are a few indicated in research. (Note- One with the disorder may display some or most of these, but nothing is guaranteed as each person with the disorder is an individual, so don’t use these as assumptions. Some may not have the same symptoms as others, and no person with it is portrayed the same way. They are rather a guideline and have been shown through research to mental health workers). (ALSO NOTE- Others without it can obviously ‘display/relate’ to some of this from time to time once you take a look, but the reasoning, cause, severity, and pattern is different and this is a chronic disorder. Please note it’s completely different than that and that this post is just for awareness/education purposes since not many know about it- how to deal, what to expect, etc. Also note that this is not a checklist. This is condition awareness. Percentages show that 8/10 of these individuals attempt suicide, while 1/10 complete it. Stigma and assumptions don’t help, but awareness does.  11. Distorted/irregular eating patterns- (e.g. reduced food intake, impoverished diet) 12. Sleep deprivation or irregular sleeping patterns (too little, too much) 13. “Acting out”- addressing and expressing emotions by actions and behaviors, rather than words, reflections, or feelings 14. A lack of object consistency (inability to recall that people or objects are ‘still there,’ consistent, and reliable when they are not currently being physically seen/there and difficulty maintaining these feelings) 15. Attachment to people, places, or certain objects 16. Baiting 17. Unstable relationships 18. Maladaptive day dreaming  19. Extreme reactivity to surroundings, curiosity and interest   20. Voice changing 21. Nociception (pain tolerance) differences- Studies show alterations in acute pain processing in over 50% of those with BPD- they have a higher tolerance for such. The result of this comes from different systematic responses and antinociception and may be a result of long-term self harm behavior in some cases. On the other hand, they may have a lower tolerance for chronic pains. 22. Obsessive compulsive spectrum features-(e.g. perfectionism, intrusive thoughts in the thought pattern/processes, repetitive behavior as a result, repetitive speech) 23. With proper balance, self discipline/work orientation as a result of repetitive features have been observed in BPD individuals 24. Promiscuity 25. Mimicking/mirroring 26. Flashbacks 27. Nightmares   28. Difficulty processing and taking in information 29. Difficulty focusing, concentrating, and a poor attention span 30. High numbers of people with BPD have been shown to have various other physical conditions and difficulties, specifically: high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic migraines, back pain, stomach aches, arthritis, and fibromyalgia. 31. BPD rarely stands alone when it comes to having other mental disorders. At least 85% of people with BPD have a second mental disorder. 32. Feelings of fear, negativity, or rejection of authority or important figures 33. Alluring/seductive behavior 34. Extreme need for acceptance and reassurance 35. A need to prove themselves over and over, as identity may be graded on a scale of what was done that very day (with no consideration of what was done in the past) 36. Extreme apathy, boredom, dullness, and indifference 37. Flat affect- lack of emotional reactivity and inability to express/show emotions due to depression, absence of emotional response, and restriction of expressions 38. Creativity/creative thinking 39. Persistently perceiving neutrality as anger in others’ expressions, and reacting to such, is a unique feature that was found in research among BPD individuals, as opposed to those without. This includes reactions to real/perceived negative meaning in words. 40. Isolating oneself 41. Defensive reactions 42. Magical thinking (e.g. assumed correlations, interconnection, etc) 43. Fantasizing 44. Illusions- brain’s misinterpretation of a real sensory stimulus, perceiving and interpreting the sense to be different or distorted than what it really is (whereas, hallucinations are a sensory (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, etc) perception that isn’t there at all) 45. Hypersensitivity to caffeine, alcohol, some sugars and foods. Often described as being “allergic” to such things as it causes reactions from hypersensitivity and symptoms. 46. Memory lapses- resulting from dissociation, trauma, or intense reactions, etc 47. Avoidance 48. Euphoric reactions 49. Detachment 50. Avoidance of eye contact 51. Difficulty transitioning to life aspects, such as changes to plans, environments/surroundings, arrangements, relationships, work, school, etc 52. Difficulty with awareness 53. Sensitivity and irritability to senses- light, sounds, temperatures, etc 54. Resistance 55. Difficulty completing tasks 56. “Rapid” or excessive speech 

57. Restlessness and difficulty relaxing

58. Extreme sense of security, comfort, and connection with animals/nature and inanimate objects, such as transitional objects

59. Undermining a goal, success, or relationship (quitting a good right after a promotion, dropping out of school right before graduation, etc, just to name a few examples for a better idea)

60. Often occurs with PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) or worse reactions to menstrual cycles because of the hypersensitive and systematic changes

61. Sarcasm

62. Flight of ideas, racing thoughts, or rapid thought patterns

63. Brief remission of symptoms in response to certain events (positive reactions)

64. Disrupted or delayed life components- education, relationships, jobs, etc

-ppl with bpd have amygdala glands that are 16% smaller (the part of your brain that regulates emotion)

-people with bpd experience pain similar to how others feel when they lose a loved one almost daily and over super minor things

-people with bpd will test others by pushing them away, in these situations reassure your loved one with bpd and if they still want soace give it to them but let them know youll be glad to hear from them again if they want to come back

-after an episode people with bpd most likely wont remember much of the episode and can bounce back fairly quickly after an episode which can be confusing

-when a person with bpd tells you they are suicidal, no matter how often, they mean it. Bpd is horribly, horribly painful

“i guess none of you like me” could be better phrased as “i feel unloved right now”

“but nobody cares anyway” could be better phrased as “i feel insignificant and i need reassurance”