Sans titre

I am appalled that some (unfortunately numerous) fandom people here still haven't caught up with the fact people are allowed to ship whatever the f*ck they want because - wait for it - it's FICTION.

And not only that but who do you think ship the ships you believe to be problematic? Perverts? Crazies? NO. People who ships "problematic ships" are usually using said ships to HEAL THEIR TRAUMAS and these people, these "saints", are making it even worse for them by shaming them. Especially considering some people don't even know they are trying to cope with said traumas.

I would know, I was one of them. And yet, writing what some would call a "problematic ship" actually helped me a lot in my healing process to the point also I don't hate the ship, I don't feel the need to write nor read about it anymore.

Sooo I hate writing this with so many works on my wip list but I probably won't be posting any Rhodestead (nor Hawstead) fics until january, maybe even february.

I'm still having an affair with Thorki and mostly, sadly, I'm having hardcore MaDD episodes which makes it really freaking hard to write. (+ I may be moving at the beginning of next year for a job).

Guys, there - probably - won't be any updates to my Rhodestead fics this week 'cause my favorite Thorki fic updated after 2 YEARS and I've fallen down that rabbit hole.

Honestly, if you're not afraid of falling in love with the pairing, I highly recommend it. It's wonderfully written - over 9000 of us think so - and the characters are on point, especially post-IW Thor:

Connor had started to lose track of time when Will walked into the room. He had been sitting there for five to six hours - and by ‘there’, he meant an increasingly uncomfortable armchair in the yet ‘deluxe hybrid maternity room’ of Med’s NICU - practicing Kangaroo Care with Natalie’s latest patient: a newborn foundling girl who had been found in a dumpster barely three streets away from the hospital.

Connor had been on his way out when he had heard of her. He had stopped to greet his friends, both Natalie and, more surprisingly, Maggie standing in front of the baby’s room, and had arrived right in time to hear Natalie say said-newborn was unlikely to make it. She was withdrawing from whatever cocktail her mother had been on and her spirit seemed to have been crushed by all that had happened to her in the hours following her birth.

When Connor had asked if anything could be done, Natalie had mentioned Skin-on-Skin contact, and for whatever reason - he was yet to identify - Connor had volunteered himself. Which was how he ended up sitting there, with a newborn laying on his naked chest, rather than resting in his own bed at home.

“I’m gonna be honest, I had no idea you were expecting,” Will joked.

Connor couldn’t help but snort, somehow amused.

“Yeah, I actually just got a call from Discovery, they want me featured on the next season of I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” he replied.

Will laughed, shaking his head as he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms on his chest, and, for yet another strange and unnamed reason, Connor felt lighter.

“Pretty sure that show was canceled ages ago though,” Will added a moment later.

“I wouldn’t know,” Connor said. His voice was dripping with sarcasm. “I never watched it.”

“Right,” Will answered, visibly unconvinced. He paused briefly before he said: “Shift’s over by the way. Nat’s looking for someone to replace you.”

“What? No,” Connor started. He was frowning. “She barely got used to me, I can’t just hand her off to yet another stranger. I said I would do this and I will -”

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell her, alright,” Will interrupted Connor’s escalating monologue. “In the meantime, do you need anything? Water? Coffee, maybe?”

“I could use another blanket actually,” Connor replied.

He was pouting slightly. Will frowned.

“Are you cold?”

“Not really but -” Connor started.

“You’re falling asleep,” Will cut in.

“I’m not,” Connor protested.

“You are,” Will replied. He still left his place on the threshold to look for a blanket in the dresser. “How long have you been up anyway?”

“Twenty-six hours, give or take,” Connor answered.

“Connor.”

“What?” Connor said. “I’m not opening anyone’s chest, I’m just sitting there, the equivalent of a human incubator.”

“What about your next shift -” Will started.

However, Natalie chose that moment to stop by:

“Hey,” she said. “I still haven’t found anyone yet but -”

“Don’t bother,” Connor interrupted her. “I’m staying, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure..?” Natalie trailed off.

“Yeah,” Will piped up. “And, actually, so am I. That way, you’ll get some sleep too.”

I finally watched 5x01 and dear God. Also, I don't usually write about Ava because I'm not sure what she suffered from but I thought I'd at least give it a try for a short one-shot. She didn't interact much with Will in the show and I think it may be because they would have had to consider the fact she would have been jealous of Connor and Will's relationship and there was already so much drama happening. Anyway.

“We’re finished,” Connor said.

He pushed Ava’s hands away from his chest. He felt so many things in that moment: grief, regret, guilt, annoyance, anger... and her words only confused him even more. What was he supposed to be grateful for? However, his answer died in his throat as he caught sight of Will over her shoulder and through the doctors’ lounge glass door. He was covered in blood.

Connor’s heart missed a beat as his feet started moving of their own volition. By the time he reached Will, the night staff had taken Natalie’s unconscious body from his arms, and one of the med students he couldn’t remember the name of was trying and failing to get Will into the next trauma room.

“Will!” Connor called.

The other man finally looked away from where Doctor Marcel was taking care of Natalie and Connor got a better look at his face: the obvious gash on his left temple seemed to be the only wound he wore but it didn’t alleviate Connor’s worry and growing panic. He had just lost his father, he couldn’t lose Will too.

Connor forgot about everything else. The fact they wanted to keep their relationship a secret as long as possible. The fact Ava was right behind him and God knew what she was capable of. He walked straight to Will and took his face between his hands as his boyfriend’s hands flew naturally to his hips.

“What the hell happened?” Connor asked. “Are you okay?”

“Tim Burke,” Will replied. “He ran into my car.”

“He needs stitches,” the med student - Elsa Curry - said at the same time.

“What -” Connor started. He interrupted himself and shook his head. “She is right. You need to be looked over. You could be bleeding internally -”

“I’m fine,” Will tried to protest.

“Will, please,” Connor added. “For me.”

Will hesitated for another half a second before he nodded and followed Connor and Curry to the next room. He sat at the foot of the bed, holding one of Connor’s hands, as the surgeon got a better look at his wound.

“You definitely need stitches,” he said at last.

“I can do it if you want,” a familiar voice suggested.

Connor tensed immediately as he looked back to find Ava standing on the threshold.

“Over my dead body,” he replied. His voice filled with venom. “Do you hear me? You are not to approach him nor will you touch a single hair of his head or I swear…”

He trailed off as his ex-girlfriend expression shifted from falsely concerned to both annoyed and offended.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Deadly,” Connor answered.

Took some time but I'm finally getting into this AU. Can you guess the book/movie?

Connor wasn’t sure about how to feel after his first day at Med. It definitely could have been worse. He could have never made it to the hospital and even though one of his patients was dead, a kid had gotten a new pair of lungs. Also, most of the people he had worked with had been nothing short of welcoming - that one guy aside. All in all, Connor thought maybe it hadn’t been such a bad idea to come back home. At least until Doctor Charles and Sarah Reese found him at the end of his shift:

“Doctor Rhodes,” Charles started. “Do you mind if we talk for a minute?”

Connor couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow as his gaze traveled between the two.

“Sure,” he answered nonetheless.

Charles smiled and gestured towards a free osculation room which only confused Connor further. However, he went without another word, guessing he’d know what this was all about soon enough.

“Reese has expressed some concern regarding your involvement in the accident this morning,” Charles said finally.

Connor wanted to laugh.

“Well, thank you for your concern,” he said instead. “But, I assure you, I’m fine.”

The other two exchanged a look and Connor’s mirth started to dissipate. Clearly, he was still missing something important.

“Doctor Charles?”

“Reese here has observed you having a… conversation with seemingly no one,” the older man explained at last. “Multiple times today.”

Okay, this had to be a prank of some sort.

“What?” Connor said. “What are you talking about?”

“She said she first noticed it back when you arrived this morning but didn’t think much of it,” Charles added. “But then she heard you do it again in the doctors’ lounge.”

“In the -” Connor started. He shook his head. “Did Reese really miss the six feet tall redhead I was talking to? The one who, as he so promptly informed me, also happens to be the senior resident in this ER?”

That seemed to catch Charles’ attention but rather than turn towards the med student, he looked at Connor as if he had said something utterly fascinating.

“Can you tell me more about this… redhead?”

“Are you serious?” Connor replied.

He was starting to get annoyed. However, when Charles nodded, Connor merely rolled his eyes and sighed before he added:

“What do you want me to tell you? I didn’t even get his name now I think about it,” he trailed off briefly but Charles only nodded encouragingly. Connor sighed again. “He is from Chicago. Canaryville, actually. And that’s basically it. I mean he asked why I didn’t put my patient on the hypothermic protocol and where did I study.”

“Canaryville?” Charles repeated after a beat.

Connor nodded, exasperated.

“Huph, would you mind coming with me, Doctor Rhodes?” Charles said. “There is someone I would like you to meet.”

Connor just wanted to tell him to fuck off at this point. He was tired of whatever this was. But he couldn’t, couldn’t he? He ended up nodding his approval, again, and Charles walked them to an elevator. Thankfully, he didn’t press the button to the Psychiatric Department but to... the ICU? Reese and he followed the older man to a private room, one of those dedicated to long-time care patients. Charles knocked on the open door, getting the attention of a thirty-something man sitting next to the bed.

“Hi Jay,” Charles said. “Do you mind..?”

“Depends,” the man - Jay - answered as he got up from his chair. “Are you here to try and psych me again or..?”

“We are here for Will, actually,” Charles replied, audibly amused.

“Sure,” Jay agreed.

He shrugged but Connor could tell his nonchalance wasn’t authentic. He looked exhausted too, Connor noted as they entered the room. And Connor still had no idea what they were doing here. He was about to interrogate Charles when his gaze fell on the person in the hospital bed a few feet away from them. His shock was so strong his professional demeanor slipped for a moment.

“What?” he started. “I don’t understand. What happened?”

Connor looked back at Charles who was silently studying him.

“What happened to him?” Connor repeated. “I saw him half an hour ago, he was fine.”

“What are you talking about?” Jay asked.

And his voice and oblivious confusion brought Connor back to the full reality at hand. He was standing there with this guy’s - whoever he was - family. He couldn’t act like this.

“Is he the man you saw?” Charles asked.

And Connor opened his mouth but didn’t answer at first. What the hell was going on?

“Yeah, yes, I guess,” he said after a beat. “Who - what -”

“Doctor Halstead was injured during the attack against the ED a few months ago,” Charles explained at last. “He has been in a coma ever since.”

What?! There had to be a mistake. Connor had seen him walking around the ED all day. He had talked to him, multiple times. The man was fine. And definitely not in a coma…

“He was indeed Senior Resident of the ED,” Charles added. “And he did grow up in Canaryville.”

Charles looked to Jay for confirmation and also he was still confused, the man nodded. Still, Connor didn’t understand how this was possible. What had happened. Was he having hallucinations involving a coma patient he had never met? Was the man actually walking around and having everybody fooled?

“I -” Connor started then trailed off briefly. “Okay, you know what, you got me, it was really funny. But I’m going to go home now.”

“Doctor Rhodes,” Charles tried.

“No,” Connor said firmly. “I don’t know what you are playing at but unless you actually believe I suffer from some kind of brain injury and cannot do my job, I’m going to go home now and come back to work tomorrow and forget this ever happened.”

This takes place after the bar scene, when Will and Nat are on their break and Connor originally leaves and Will kisses Frisch, except here, Connor stayed.

Will woke up slow and confused. He wasn’t in his bed nor Natalie’s. Neither of those was so comfortable. However, the beeping noise next to his head was overly familiar… as opposed to the definitely-male groan that came from his other side a second later. Will’s eyes flew open in time to watch his bed companion's do the same.

Connor.

Will was in Connor’s bed.

“It’s mine,” his friend said.

Will blinked. His brain scrambled to try and remember how he had ended up there. He felt so terribly hungover which, right, they had been drinking at Molly’s. But that did not explain why Will was now half-naked in Connor’s bed rather than his very own. However, his friend didn’t seem to share his concern over their situation as he simply rolled over and hover over Will’s body to reach his pager on the nightstand. He sighed when he read whatever message he had just received, his forehead falling on Will’s naked upper chest, and yeah, okay, Will’s heart needed to calm the fuck down.

“Emergency trauma surgery,” Connor said.

He was visibly still exhausted when he moved next and Will got a first good look at him as he sat up… on Will’s tight - straddling Will’s tight to be more accurate. And one of Will’s hands flew on its own accord to lay on one of Connor’s hips, who, thankfully - or not - didn’t seem to notice nor mind as he sent a quick answer on his pager before he got up. The other man disappeared in the ensuite bathroom for a moment before he came back into the room to grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as Will was still trying to piece together his fussy memories of the evening.

“Hey,” Connor called softly from the bedroom’s doorstep. “New toothbrushes in the first drawer on the left, towels are under the sink, help yourself to whatever you need, coffee shop next door has a mean breakfast menu, number is on the fridge, just tell them to add it to my tab. Stay as long as you want, alright?”

TW: homophobia (not from main characters)

People were idiots. Jay knew that. He had known for a very long time already but it still amazed him sometimes how dumb they could be. Justin Voight was definitely one of these people. Jay had tried to be nice despite the other guy’s attitude. He really did. But when Voight’s kid walked back into their gym and gave Conrad and him a look before opening his mouth, Jay knew he wasn’t going to be able to let it slide this time. Because it was one thing to ignore the guy’s jealousy regarding his close relationship with Erin and it was another one to accept this particular kind of shit.

“You’ a fag?” Justin said.

And the whole gym seemed to fall silent at his words giving him the first clue he had made a mistake. Jay, who was standing with an arm around Conrad's shoulders and one of his boyfriends wrapped loosely around his back, far from any sort of heavy PDA, watched him as Voight’s kid looked around from the corner of his eyes. Ruzek, Al, and Antonio had fallen silent a few feet away and so had the other guys passing by.

“I’m sorry,” Jay said. “What did you just call me?”

His question was only met by silence until...

“He asked you a question, Justin,” a familiar voice said.

Voight himself was standing behind Erin and his son who turned around to look at his father, an obviously annoyed look on his face.

“In the ring. Both of you. Now,” Voight said after a beat.

“Voight,” Erin tried.

She - and everyone else - knew damn well Justin couldn’t take Jay.

“I said now,” Voight repeated.

And that was how Jay ended up standing in the ring, facing Voight’s son. They circled one another for a moment. Neither of them made the first move. Mostly because Jay didn’t want to lose his job over his boss’ douchebag of a son.

“Stop looking at me, Halstead, and fight already,” Voight added after a beat. “Unless you want me to kick you out.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. When Jay moved, Justin didn’t even see him coming and fell on his ass before he could try and do anything.

“Up, now,” Voight ordered his son.

I haven't! I know Buck is a character from 911? I haven't seen the show (yet) and I have only seen a handful of episodes of Chicago Fire (I remember liking Severide and Casey as a pairing, back when the show first came out lol also I hate how Severide always talked to Connor on Med 😅) but, I'll keep this in mind for when I come around to watching Fire & 911!

Note: thank you to everyone who also checked my Hawstead work! <3 This is Will's pov from the previous pregnancy short.

Doctor Halstead.

“Doctor Halstead?”

Will blinked. Someone was calling his name. He blinked again as he fully exited his thoughts. It felt like coming up after being underwater. His ears stopped ringing and he could hear the natural sounds of the ED again. And after another half a second, he recognized Sharon Goodwin, standing a few feet away. She was the one who had been calling his name and probably had been for some time. However, she seemed to realize Will was back from wherever he had gotten lost in his own head and added:

“Take a few minutes.”

Goodwin waited for him to nod before she patted him on the arm and walked away. Will moved like an automaton to the doctors’ lounge and, one way or another ended up sitting on the couch.

Connor wasn’t sick. Connor was pregnant. And pissed.

Will was going to be a father.

It seemed so unreal after all those years. Will had known he wanted a family of his own for as long as he could remember. However, after his failed relationship with Natalie, he had started thinking maybe it simply wasn’t in the cards for him. Maybe he wouldn’t end up with his soulmate and a bunch of kids - and later, grandkids. Maybe he was meant to be alone. But then things had changed again. Connor and he had happened. And also he hoped children were part of their future, he knew - or more accurately, he thought he knew - that it wouldn’t be easy for them. For many reasons.

God, Will wanted nothing more than to walk into the hybrid OR and embrace the hell out of Connor but he knew better. Hell, he would be lucky if the other man came out of the surgery without a grudge. He had worked so hard to get where he was and he wouldn’t let anyone, not even Will, ruin it for him. Not that Will would ever ask him to stop practicing. Hell, he’d become a househusband before he ever requested from Connor that he quit his job. And to be fair, he would probably love it.

Will stayed in the lounge another ten minutes. Just thinking and making sure he wasn’t spacing out anymore before he went back to work. It was probably amongst the longest two hours of his career and Connor was still busy in the Hybrid OR when their shifts ended. Will asked one of the nurses to ask Connor if he wanted Will to wait for him or if he should go home - and give him some space. She came back and told him Doctor Rhodes said not to wait for him. Will took the L train back to the condo. It felt strange being there alone but he tried to ignore the feeling and went to take a shower and change clothes. After that he thought he should cook something. Connor was usually the one who took care of dinner as Will wasn’t exactly a cordon bleu. But he could try and hopefully, it would keep him busy until Connor came home.

Will was barely starting when he opened the cutlery drawer and froze. Forks, spoons and knives were missing and inside the drawer was a simple white onesie with the words ‘Guess what?’ printed in black cursive letters. Will could help but let escape a watery laugh at the sight.

“I thought I’d ask you to set the table,” a familiar voice said.

Will still jumped in surprise. He hadn’t heard Connor come in. Which he clearly just did as he was still wearing his coat and bag.

“It was the only thing I could think of that wouldn’t tip you off,” Connor added after a beat.

He shrugged and Will finally found his voice again:

“Connor, I’m so sorry,” he started. His voice was breaking slightly. “I just, I love you so much and I kept thinking about everything that could make you sick like this, and I could tell you and Nat were hiding something and I got so freaking scared -”

“I know,” Connor said simply at first. “I know.”

He let go of his bag and took a step towards Will who couldn’t hold back any longer and crossed the remaining distance between them to embrace him. He let out a shaky breathe when Connor didn’t protest and hugged him back.

“I love you too… Daddy,” Connor half-joked.

Will snorted before hiding his face into Connor’s neck, holding him as tightly as he could while being mindful of not hurting him nor their baby. God, their baby.

“I can’t believe...” Will tried. He paused and one of Connor’s hands started petting his hair in both a gesture of encouragement and appeasement. “I’m so happy, I can’t even explain. I love you so much. I don’t want to let you go ever again, it’s insane...”

“I know,” Connor repeated. “But Will, you have to realize you won’t be able to keep me in a plastic bubble. I’m still going to work those next nine months. And even after this baby is born -”

“I know,” Will interrupted him gently. “I know and I won’t -” He took a deep breath. “I can’t promise you not to freak out, ever, but I would never ask you to give up your career. I know how much it means to you -”