Jay Halstead x Fem! Reader
Warning: Age gap (22 year old reader)
AN: this is a long one :). Super angsty. Working on pt of “career day” now. Please don’t forget to send in requests. Oh, not my gif :). Side note: posting 2 times a week.
All of the memories replaying in the back of your mind as you lay in bed. They were picture perfect, a little too perfect. You hesitate, reaching for your phone laying on your nightstand. You sigh, looking up at the rapidly moving ceiling fan. The weight of pain settles over you all at once. It’s been months since you two cut things off. The ache of missing him has grown stronger, no matter how hard you try to fight it.
You close your eyes, trying to find peace in the quiet of your room. It doesn’t help. The memories of his touch, voice, and the little moments you thought would last forever replay in your mind. You fight the urge as hard as you can, but no use. You open your phone. Heart pounding in your ears. You scroll through your contacts until you see his name. “Jay”. You click it. The phone is ringing.
“Halstead ”, he answers. Sleep fills his voice and suddenly you feel a sense of guilt for calling this late.
“Uh-“, you’re stumbling over your words. “I know I said I wouldn’t call and I would give you space, but- I-“, you pause. “Hey Jay.”
You hear him shuffle over the phone, he lets out a groan. You can tell he rolled over to turn on his lamp. You look over at your clock, it’s 1:15am. Yeah, you made a mistake. “Hey, Y/N.” You smile slightly. Hearing your name from his mouth always sounds like honey. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah”, you twiddle with the strings on your, well his sweatpants that you refused to return. “Well…”
“I need you…” your heart begins pounding faster as you let that simple phrase escape your lips.
“I’m sorry?” He says with sleepy confusion.
“I can’t go without you anymore, I need you now”, you blurt out. You’ve lost control of your words.
“Y/N”, he sighs, pressing his thumb and index finger against the bridge of his nose. “Y/N I-“, you don’t give him the opportunity to speak before hanging up the phone, turning it on airplane mode and laying it back on your nightstand.
‘That the hell was I thinking?’
What you didn’t know, is that Jay had been waiting for your call. Not for days, not even weeks, but for months since you walked out his door. Every night after his shift he sat on his couch, watching the door wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before. Here he was again, waiting, hoping, praying that you would call back, repeat yourself so he can say the same thing to you. He debates calling you back, he’s up now, he makes his way to the kitchen pouring himself a drink. He stands over the brown liquid sitting on the counter. He sighs putting the glass cup to his lips and taking a sip, it burns. It washes away the confusion that sat in his throat. He decides to send you a text, “I wondered if I ever crossed your mind. I’ve been thinking about you everyday.” He places his phone on the counter, finishing his drink and making his way back to the empty bed where you once laid waiting for him on those long shifts.
You eventually make your self fall asleep, but you are rudely awaken by your mother’s obnoxiously loud boyfriend getting ready for work. You toss and turn trying to find a comfy spot with an attempt to ignore him. “Why did I move back?” You groan.
The morning creeps through your childhood room. You, groggy from the long night, and rude awakening pull the covers over your head, successfully shielding your eyes from the sun. You get a few more hours of rest before you peel yourself from your pink butterfly bed set. Your instinct tells you to check your phone, but your body ignores it and you make your way down your old Chicago home to the kitchen where your mom stands making you breakfast.
“Good morning sunshine”, she chirps barely removing her gaze from the pancakes on the stove top. You grunt in response. “Ah, that’s my twenty-two teen daughter”, you roll your eyes.
“Have you heard from that man?”
“Yeah”, you tap your finger on the coffee mug.
“I’m sorry, I really liked him”
“Yeah me too”, you take a sip of the coffee.
Your day drags, all you do is sit and think about the text you saw on your phone while getting ready for the gym. How should you respond? Should you even respond? What if you’re already blocked?
You’re drawn out of your show by a phone call, “Jay” the name reads. “Hello?”
“Hey”, he sounds tired. “Your call last night… I didn’t expect it. I wanted to make sure you are okay. My text delivered.”
“Can we meet today?” You practically jump off the couch at the question.
“I-uh-“, stammering, “sure, where? What time?”
“I’ll pick you up in 10.”
“Oh, okay. Yeah”, you smile over the phone.
You hear his loud Ram 1500 pull up the driveway, it’s low rumble recognizable even from your child hood bedroom. You breathe, walking down the stairs and out the door.
He, already waiting outside, opens the door for you and offers a hand to assist you into the passenger side. The heat is on , you peel your jacket off before putting your seatbelt on. He follows suit. You smile at him before fixing your gaze out the window as he begins to drive. “Where are we going?”
“Adam and Kim’s, they invited you too.” You cocked an eyebrow. You babysit for Mack on occasion, but never got invited to dinner.
“I actually want to talk before we get there. I mean we have a good bit of time before we get there.” You turn to him, listening intently to his words. “I, uh…I miss you so much.” Your heart melts at these words, “I need you, not just now, but for the rest of my life.”
“Oh.” You’re taken aback, “Jay, I do too, but-“ he cuts you off.
“I didn’t mean when I said that, I was angry. Not at you, but with myself and for the person who I became. You didn’t deserve that…”
“Listen, I love you y/n. I’m scared of loving you. You’re an amazing woman. I don’t want to change you.”
“I love you too.” You smile at him. He turns to meet your eyes for a second before turning back to the road ahead of him.
“What if we try again? This time, we do it right.”
“I’d like that.” He pulls into Kim’s driveway. He puts the car in park. Jay cups your face and pulls you into a long and much needed deep kiss.
