#hungover

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026!

↘ back to the Billy & White Index

you wake up tangled in unfamiliar sheets that smell like him, with the distant scent of soap, coffee, metal, and — heartbreakingly — a little bit of you.

you squint one eye open. the light is merciless, slicing through the half-closed blinds. your brain feels like it’s trying to climb out of your skull using rusty garden shears.

and then it hits you — the sheets are too nice. the bed’s too big. the room smells too… bucky.

oh god.

you pry your face off the pillow and realize with horror that you are, in fact, in bucky barnes’s bed. and you are wearing — wait. is that his t-shirt? oh no. oh NO.

your memory plays a cruel little highlight reel:

you giggling on his couch, legs draped over his lap, slurring something about how his arms look like a snack.

insisting you were “totally fine to go home by yourself, i swear,” while trying to put your shoe on your hand.

him muttering “jesus, doll,” before just scooping you up, bridal style, no hesitation.

you poking his cheek and going “you’re so PRETTY it’s actually disgusting.”

you… oh god. you might have tried to kiss him. but missed. and kissed his jaw.

you bury your face back in the pillow with a groan.

“kill me now. seriously. assassinate me. put me outta my misery.”

from somewhere to your left, you hear a soft snort.

“morning, sunshine. how’s that head?”

you crack an eye open to find bucky standing in the doorway, hair wet from a shower, grey sweatpants slung low, holding two mugs. one glance at your expression and he tries — tries — not to grin. fails spectacularly.

he crosses the room and sets a mug on the bedside table.

“here. coffee. and water. and advil if you can keep anything down. how’s my favorite lightweight doing?”

you let out a muffled whine.

“i hate you.”

he laughs, low and warm, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“no you don’t. last night you said you loved me. like four times. then you tried to marry my toaster.”

you pull the blanket over your head.

“god, why didn’t you let me go home and die in peace?”

he peels the blanket back just enough to see your pouting face.

“because, sweetheart, you were very determined that my apartment was — and i quote — ‘more emotionally stable than yours.’ plus, you kept falling over. i wasn’t gonna let you crack your head open just because you’re stubborn.”

then he softens, brushing a knuckle along your cheek.

“besides… kinda nice having you here. even if you did snore.”

you groan again, hiding your burning face in his thigh. he just chuckles, hand sifting through your hair, thumb rubbing gentle circles against your scalp.

“hangover or not, doll — you can stay here as long as you want. bed’s always open to you.”

summary: you woke up in Sebastian’s shop after drinking yourself blind in Rachjumper’s bar.

word count: 4.2k

note: writing commissions are open. This is a writing commission from a personal friend of mine. My prices is name your own price. This took 3.5 hours to write <3 thanks for reading. DM me for commissions. P.S. this used to be a male MC so if I forgot to change something I’m sorry </3. This was also uploaded on ao3 if you prefer to read on there.

Sebastian was still [Y/N]’s life line even though he could rip them to shreds easily with one squeeze too hard. In this world with no laws, no morals and no justice, [Y/N] could die over and over again by his best friend of two decades and still come back hopping on his feet. Sebastian wouldn’t, though, he loves [Y/N]. Maybe too much… no, definitely too much for a best friend.

Even though [Y/N] was a messy person, providing sexual services for expendables at a price - all 25 expendables that are currently alive seemed to have used his services at some point - Sebastian will always come to their aid. And only their aid. Like a life raft at sea, beating against the current, as life rains on. [Y/N] couldn’t be more thankful that someone like Sebastian was still even alive after grieving 8 years straight for him.

Even when [Y/N] acted like a drunkard. Like right now. They woke up after a very eventual time at the bar, where they drank several vodkas on the rocks (with the very specific request of a plate of limes) till they were cut off. The demonic bartender was flirting with him too until Sebastian came and…

‘Ugh…What even happened?’

They don’t remember the rest, like fog and clouds lived in his skull and blocked out the memories. Thundering headaches split into [Y/N]’s head as they pressed down on their eyes in an attempt to keep their eyeballs from popping out. Their skin, kissed by the sun, was a pale green colour.

“Good morning, drunkard.” Sebastian quipped at [Y/N], they only needed to sit up to see Sebastian’s face from beyond the raised part of his ‘bedroom’. This is… Sebastian’s shop?

A grimace pulled at the person’s features as they came to realise they were hungover, a scowl twisting at his usually gentle features — how many drinks did they have? Did they black out? How long had they been asleep, has someone gotten the crystal yet?

There was a mild panic as they swayed between the land of consciousness and dreams, slouching as they put his hands to their face, their mouth dry and his body heavy, his vision looked like a mirage of sorts to top it off. A wonderful smoothie of hangover symptoms.

[Y/N] turned to his serpentine best friend (that term was loose-fitting) as they processed his words, they pressed their lips into a thin line and swallowed, clearing their throat before speaking, “M…morning, Seb.” They mustered up a smile, still feeling like an utter mess.

“…Uh! What happened? Did I drink too much?” They cocked their head a little to the side, it felt too heavy to keep it up, “Sorry if I did anything dumb.” Their smile grew, flustered.

[Y/N] never knew his limits with anything, drinking, smoking or sex. He just went full blast until he collapsed, that was the type of person he was, it fit easily into the scenario he was stuck in, getting the crystal, saving Sebastian and Painter.

So why was he wasting time getting drunk? God, he felt so guilty.

“Yes you did, no nothing happened.” Sebastian’s glowing blue eyes looked up and down [Y/N], remembering what happened. [Y/N] and the bartender flirted with each other, causing Sebastian to step in and he might of said some words to the bartender to shut him up (along the lines of I’m his boyfriend, don’t fucking flirt with him.) and then [Y/N] had begun a massive rant about sea creatures, and then the entities, and about how hard it is to be… expendable. Sebastian won’t forget how [Y/N]’s head eventually lolled to the side, drunk off their mind, and rested their pretty little head on Sebastian’s arm.

Sweet moments like that with [Y/N]… might be one of the only things Sebastian lives for now. He wanted to protect [Y/N], and see rainbows in the sky together as they sat on top of the roof of [Y/N]’s house.

It’s been so long since [Y/N] had even been in Sebastian’s shop. [Y/N] wasn’t very good with keeping alive on runs, even with the help of entities like Sebby and Painter. Sebastian fiddled with his brown scarf, keeping the bottom of his chin hidden beneath it for whatever reason. Maybe to keep warm.

“You feeling ok? You look a little pale…”

“I look pale?” [Y/N] parroted, their brain still fried. They touched his face, rubbing the freckled skin a little harsh as they quieted into thoughts, too fixated on the fact they could be losing their pretty melanin that they grew to love, “Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen the sun in a while.” They mumbled absently.

They liked the sun a lot, but they definitely forgot to be grateful, the lack of sun down here made them feel a little ill, and that meant no vitamin D! They were human, they weren’t built to survive the darkness.

Their eyes glazed over the empty shop as they shifted themselves closer to Sebastian, right by the railing, “I feel….fine. Just a bit dehydrated…uhm. And I have a headache, and I’m hungover — ugh, that sleep did nothing for me.” They whined.

With a hand reaching up to pat down their unruly hair from tossing and turning in their sleep, their mind strayed as they tried to remember any event during him getting drunk. All they could remember was the first two drinks, leaning over the counter and cooing incessantly at the bartender over how attractive he was. It seemed acting as a prostitute to the other expendables did not tank their ever-lasting libido. Their face tinged pink at the thought of his embarrassing state.

They reached over and brushed away some stray strands of black hair from Sebastian’s face, the skin of his face oddly soft compared to the rest of his scaled body, “It would have been a lot better if I slept with youuuuu~!” They cooed in a breathy tone, jokingly flirting as they always seemed to do.

Sebastian cracked a smile but looked away, “yuck. Like I’d sleep with you.” He jokingly jabbed at [Y/N] even though the two had already slept together (both sex and just sleeping!). He took off his large, dark jacket that he always wore in the winter time back home and threw it over [Y/N]’s head. It weighed like 10 tons, the weight of it knocked [Y/N]’s head down involuntarily. They let out a small ‘uff’ at the weight as they pulled it around them, their hair sticking up at the static.

His smile turned cheeky, ocean blue eyes glinting, “Ooh? What’s this?” He purred, pulling the jacket closer to him — it had a sea brine smell to it, like the beach. [Y/N]’s smile opened to a grin, chuckling, “You gonna give me a show for free? It’s my lucky day!!”

They leaned close to the railing, observing their best friend’s new body, as they still hadn’t had the privilege to see it all in its new glory.

He took off his button up white ruffled neck shirt too, spinning it around in his hand as encouraged by [Y/N]’s cheers. He threw off his scarf too, letting it fall to the ground beside him. [Y/N]’s eyes couldn’t stop staring at the dark slits, three gills on each side of his torso, with one Y shaped incision scar on his chest that trailed down to his abdomen (where it would be if he were human). His bandages were still spotted with brownish old blood, with discoloured lighter blue blemishes on his shoulders and small scarring slits on his stomach and arms.

He climbed over the small rails easily that kept you and him separate and laid down beside [Y/N], tail curling around him while a large segment of his tail ended up off the railing, his muscular bigger arms acting as a pillow while his other one just laid on the makeshift bed consisting of a pillow, blankets and a really stiff mattress stolen from a containment cell.

“Mmmm… you can pretend to be me and collect all those items, right [Y/N]~?”

[Y/N]’s lips twisted into a frown, “From the other Expendables bodies?” They asked as they leaned his back onto the scaly tail behind him, looking at Sebastian’s face closely, “Mmmmm, later. Please?” They pleaded with a newly formed smile.

They did not want to touch a dead body with such a sensitive stomach, whatever contents were in there already churned in his hungover state like they were getting used to being alive. They would probably throw up on it, and they were not touching a corpse with their own barf on it. Even if it was their own.

“I wanna stay here with you a little, come onnn, I’ve been asleep for the last who-knows-how-long!” They chirped as they pulled the jacket closer to him, wanting to spend at least some time awake with their best friend so they could actually chat. How boring is it to just stare at their snoozing face while they probably drooled or sleep-talked? Ugh, they don't want to imagine that.

“Okay okay, Queirdo. I can’t say no to you.” He rolled his eyes playfully but snuggled up to him. “We can play boyfriend and girlfriend too. Like.. ‘honey, I don’t want to go to work, I want to stay here with you!’” He spoke at a higher pitch than normal, trying to pretend to be a boyfriend kissing their job goodbye by spending too much time with their girlfriend instead of working.

[Y/N] laughed, it was their dumb little play pretend that they played as kids non stop, cuddling and the sorts as children that their mothers cooed over. They were never separate. (Not until Sebastian was deemed ‘dead’. They even visited him in Prison.)

He pulled [Y/N] closer and snuggled himself in, closing his eyes and pretending he was at home and in his shitty bed, cuddling up with his best friend. He exhaled into their neck, blowing air onto their skin. It felt intimate.

[Y/N] let himself be manoeuvred around by their best friend, their head laid on his arm, getting a full view of the incision on his chest, they raised a hand to trace it delicately with their finger.

“Mmm… you know, if trying to get me and Painter out is too much for you, you don’t have to..” [Y/N]’s heart dropped, how much did they spill while being drunk? Did they say stupid shit about not wanting to get them both out? They didn’t even care all that much about the crystal anymore, they came here for Sebastian and Sebastian needed to come out with them. Their eyes went wide as they nearly choked on nothing, panicking. What did he say when he was drunk to give him that impression?

“No! Saving you and Painter is the biggest of my worries, and your friends. You don’t…No. I’m not leaving you behind, ever.” [Y/N] put emphasis on the last word, looking up at his face with a frown on their lips. They weren't down here for Urbanshade, they were only snatched up after being framed for manslaughter and several other fake charges while trying to clear their apparently dead best friend’s name. It was a hellish process that only spiralled, but at least Sebastian was here, and alive too.

Although, he certainly wasn’t well.

“…. Right.” Sebastian spoke with a reserved tone in his voice.

[Y/N] went quiet for a moment, their palm resting where the lines connected on the incision, “…I’m not leaving you here, not after what they’ve done to you…” They mumbled quietly, eyes trailing back to the multitude of surgical incisions - too precise, too clean, for an autopsy. Their eyes crinkled at the edges. They took Sebastian apart and put him back together to study his insides like some sort of fucking spectacle from the scars alone. And his completely altered looks, that was enough to tell that they played Frankenstein on him.

It was obvious enough they tortured him. That fact was enough to horrify them.

“Seb….you don’t have to answer this but uhm- what did they do to you down here?” They asked, tone soft, gentle, they didn’t want to make Sebastian relive those memories, but they didn’t want him to bottle it up either.

Sebastian scratched at his arm, his mind was preoccupied elsewhere for a moment. His eyes glossed over and his chest began to tighten and knot uncomfortably. Those thick, giant needles he used to get everyday, sometimes several times a day. The bindings that would trap him down on a bed as they toyed with his body, pain pain pain as water filled his lungs when they tested to see if they could breathe underwater yet. Disappointed glances and murmurs around him as they spoke in a language he didn’t understand, but he knew they were distraught they would need to spend more resources just to experiment on him for their own selfish gain.

Because they shouldn’t waste a body. Not when his body can seemingly accept just about anything. “Those fuck-heads made me feel like I had no hope for anything. Told me I couldn’t get out even if I wanted to because I was pronounced dead. They.. threw in any dna that they thought was right, all that shit in me, for gods-knows-what reasons, my fucking legs - they - they fused together, it was painful as fuck, extra limbs growing and-a-and… you don’t get how it was [Y/N], it felt like being dead in the water but someone keeps bringing you back just to kill you again.” His throat closed up, gills flaring involuntarily as his muscles tensed like he was crammed back into that tiny tank he couldn’t even swim in.

He felt nauseous, his body shook as he thought of all the vicious shit they did to him. He remembers that every time he would go under operation, that blinding light that would greet him and he would screech and hiss in pain, so they used it against him and kept flashing him when he would misbehave. His sensitive eyes and extra photoreceptors could not take it, it felt like they were gauging needles through his eyes and into his brain.

He doesn’t care about that guard he killed on the first day of lockdown. He loathes every single one of them just equally, but him? He's happy for all his contributions to Sebastian’s cause.

“I.. don’t even remember all the shit they put in me, all the animals I am now. I’m pretty disgusting to look at, eh?”

[Y/N] stared at him, their eyes had gradually been widening with every word and description, they quickly scrambled to speak, “No! No, you don’t…” their voice trailed off as their face twisted in almost agony at the idea itself, the descriptions, they were vague but terrifying. They couldn’t fathom the torture Sebastian went through for years.

They frowned, “I’m….that’s…that’s fucking…Sebastian…you went through all of that.” They whispered, horrified. It went beyond comprehension, they couldn’t imagine the agony of limbs fusing together, everything about you changing beyond recognition.

Extra limbs, extra eyes, the way they probably treated him too. Sebastian was treated like a circus freak or a toy and nothing like a human.

They shifted closer and put their arms around his shoulders, hugging him close, “I’m sorry, you never deserved that, I can’t even fathom the shit they did to you in there. You’re so strong — and I’m glad you're still alive.” They mumbled, pressing their lips to his jaw in a little comforting kiss. Before they looked at his face, “I swear that we’ll get out together. It may not be the same but it’s better than being in this terrible place.”

“As long as you’re there, I’m happy.” He flushed a little, gratefully accepting the hugs and kisses. Too gratefully, honestly - his tail beating against the wall and his heart racing. He was touched so gently and carefully, like he was a human baby and not a grotesque monster.

It reminded him of mama.

—

[Y/N] went through the door and into a break room, their sea bunny (lovingly named pickles) happy squealed after them as they walked into a break room with a lowered area full of deep sea bunnies (by full I mean 3) and a lounge area, as well as two rooms and a broken door that had rubble keeping the door open causing yellow sparks to fly off the hinges of the door. [Y/N] didn’t spare much of a glance to the sea bunnies, toying with the half-used flash beacon in their hands that they were hoping to find a battery for at some point. They already had their own, very annoying one.

Pickles trilled behind them, leading [Y/N] to shush him gently, subconsciously at the amount of times they did it. They turned to pad down the stairs of the break room.

Notably, by a water cooler, there was their friend Painter! His mechanical body, made by [Y/N], stood at 6 '0 as he felt at the paper cup he picked up from the neatly stacked pile. The lightweight plastic and the dips around the cup to make it easier to grip was fascinating to him, his facial expression was two large eyes and a smaller circle to make up his mouth.

He noticed [Y/N] after a moment, and turned his body fully to look at them. “Ohhh, hello [Y/N]~ my best inspiration finder!”

“Painter! Hi!” [Y/N] greeted with a beaming smile as they came closer.

He walked over, meeting in the middle with them, each step of his mechanical legs made a noise of cogs working together with the thumping of heavy metal hitting the floor. “Uh, Sebastian gave me some modifications, and uhm.. look.”

The thought of modifications was enough to pique their interest, but also worry about the expendable, they cocked their head to one side, “Modifications?” They parroted, surprised.

He extended his arms when he got to them, and small bits of metal opened up on his left arm to reveal a whole turret attached to his arm. He looked nervous at the sight of them being ATTACHED TO HIM. He hated turrets and killing the expendables, let alone doing it himself.

[Y/N] recoiled quickly at the fear the turret was automatic, jumping, eyes widening as they mouth opened to let out a noise, faltering at the fact nothing happened. Their shoulders dropped and they reached over to pull Painter’s arm gently towards them, examining it over. Seems like Sebastian did a little overhaul on Painter to make them more high-tech and correct some stuff.

Now the reality was back to hit them in the face, their friends kill people, everyone kills each other, everyone is bad one way or another and they can’t escape that fact no matter how much they want to ignore it.

They let out a huff, eyebrows knitting together, “Nooo, you have turrets already….” They groaned, frowning. A little upset at the fact they couldn’t ignore it.

It’s okay, they don’t have to face it unless they see it right in front of them— even then, they can just close their eyes!

“You’re not a murdering machine…” they mumbled to themselves, examining it — it was perfect, Sebastian had a scary degree of accuracy, he had always been good at mechanics and engineering in college and university. Their head lolled to the side as they let out a whine. They couldn’t take it off, Sebastian would just put it right back on.

“Mmmmmmmmm……” their frown grew, eyes squinting.

They let go of Painter’s arm, pressing their forehead to Painter’s chest, standing close as they grumbled, hissing things in Spanish the AI could not understand, thoroughly upset by the realisation they were desperately trying to ignore.

“… hey, you upset?” He tentatively asked, his hand resting on the back of [Y/N]’s head and stroking it, trying to comfort them. He’s not too well versed in how to do it considering he was just a computer not too long ago, but now he’s completely decked out with turrets, a body and height. He was about to show [Y/N] even more of his abilities, but he knew [Y/N] would just get upset.

“Only a little…I know you have to protect yourself and - uhm.” He muttered in reply, still grovelling, “You know what I mean.”

He really didn’t want to make them MORE upset, his poor skrunkl! He knew they were genuinely upset about them killing expendables everyday, and doing more and more to kill them quicker and in much more violent ways, but it’s a reality [Y/N] must accept on their own and that they have yet to do in effort to preserve what’s left of their slowly depleting sanity.

As [Y/N] rested their head on Painter’s chest, there was a whirring sound inside of him. Like his fans were working overtime to cool the inside of him down, or there were stuck cogs and machine work in him. “Please don’t be upset, [Y/N], pleaseeeee…” They didn’t notice [Y/N] stand up straight and stare directly at the chest piece in thought.

The expendable completely forgot their last train of thought, lifting their head as they noticed a whirring in the chest compartment of their friend. That was suspiciously like something was broken. They certainly didn’t hear this last time…

“Wait, sit down, something’s wrong.” they said, their tone changing quickly, concerned as they nudged Painter backwards to one of the velvety couches, “Did Sebastian break something?” They mumbled, comfying themselves by sitting on one of Painter’s thighs, their brows twitching.

Painter spurred for a moment, his screen having a giant loading loop on it from him glitching out. Why was- what was- HOLD ON. Painter, stop, this is your friend’s best friend / partner!! Why do you feel so overheated when they’re just trying to fix something in you!

They unclipped the top of the apron, tugging it off with little care, more worried about the fact something was wrong, and they pulled up the turtleneck to reveal their chest, “Hold this for me.” They said, gesturing for them to hold up the turtleneck so they could check his chest compartment.

… he still wasn’t back from loading so [Y/N] just moved his arm up and then put the turtle neck into his hand as painter continued to overheat, getting extremely warm to the point he was steaming.

He’s so pathetic… his screen had a small error on his screen (error 143) and he was rebooting himself up automatically again.

[Y/N] glanced up and blinked at the error screen, eyebrows raising in worry, blowing some of the steam starting to rise in some attempt to cool it down before raising Painter’s stiff arm, grabbing at the emergency pack on his belt and taking out a handheld screwdriver, opening up the chest compartment.

They squinted to see in the little dark compartment, poking and prodding around a little with the screwdriver, seeing if any wires were exposed inside or cut, taking the chance that Sebastian had cut a wire cover by accident.

Their eyes flitted up to Painter’s rebooting screen, waiting for a moment as they bit their bottom lip in concentration, before a question popped up into their mind, pausing and waiting for Painter’s software to load back up, “Painter, can you feel me prodding around? Is it painful?” They inquired curiously, jabbing their screwdriver a little into one of the wires, half of their arm inside the compartment, the other hand holding the metal that covered with it up, out of the way.

“… I don’t… feel. Anything. I’m a robot, silly, I technically can’t really feel much. I guess I get phantom pains though…” he mumbled after getting rebooted finally, he kept staring down at them with a thick blush on his face. It didn’t feel painful, it felt good. Somebody seeing the insides of him which nobody else has seen other than his creator and some Urbanshade employees.

[Y/N] nodded slowly, “It was just a thought, that would be cool though.” They mumbled, almost whispering as they found the issue.

It felt.. erotic? Scary? Painful? All of them. They looked like they were about to crawl into his chest cavity, hide in there forever, or they were going to rip out his robotic heart.

He hoped that he’d die by getting his heart ripped out by [Y/N] when they’re both too old to function.

[Y/N] disregarded his silence and his digital flush as embarrassment for being literally inside of him, they coughed at the realisation into their elbow quickly, “Sorry, I’ll be quick, this must be weird for you.” They sputtered before readjusting the leather glove awkwardly with their mouth and reaching in to twist the copper wires together and place some sort of temporary wire coating on it so they could later just replace it.