Keep Going

Later, when my trans professor had the class share their names and pronouns on the first day, I realized I was surrounded by people who used pronouns of all sorts. There were people who used he/they, she/they, they/them, even one person who used neos. All were respected. Yet I did not share my preferd pronouns but rather the ones people use after taking one glance at me. I was 100% safe there, but still so afraid.

It's funny, I'm completely anonymous here, but in my blog description, I still haven't put my preferred pronouns. Any/all on an anonymous blog is a small step, one step that made my hands shake.

Maybe one day, in the far future, it'll be easier. One day when I'm filling out a job application I will actually put in my prefered pronouns and have people use them.

But right now, they only exist in my head.

Happy pride to all those not out. Happy pride to all those still afraid. Happy pride to all those who cannot march in the streets and instead march in their minds. Happy pride to all those who are out, but cannot be loud. Happy pride to all those whose prefered pronouns are only used in their imagination. And happy pride to all those who cannot bear to say 'happy pride' back.

It’s so painfully individualistic. Of course me doing that thing isn’t going to save anybody or anything.

Im not trying to be a superhero who personally saves the say.

I am one leaf making oxygen in a massive forest of other trees making oxygen. I am doing my best and having faith that millions of others will do their best as well.

Because that can and has made big changes over time. Like. That is just how change happens. Thats cultural shifts. Thats political shifts. Thats how lasting changes happen.

I don’t plant milkweed because I’m personally gonna save monarch butterflies. I plant milkweed because I know thousands of us are gonna plant milkweed and send money to the people fighting horrible pesticides in court.

And he kept doing it. Scene after scene.

He spent the film expecting someone to make a joke about how unserious things were or to break the fourth wall or do some other self referential type thing.

Now, maybe I'm just at that point in my cycle or maybe I'm too delicate in general, but I literally teared up hearing that. Straight up cried a bit. It is so fucking sad that sincerity and genuineness is being bred out of people.

People say all the time 'this generation can't take anything seriously!' and really, is it any wonder? Younger people have been trained out of it. You are no longer encouraged to be genuine or show emotion or be honest. You are actively punished for it. In fact, you are almost guaranteed to suffer for it.

That is so fucked up. I'm sorry to go on a bit of a random ramble rant but it's so fucking gut wrenching to see younger people lose that element of themselves. You can't express your passion without being told you're 'crashing out' or 'cringe'. You have to live in this neutral state of fear of perception, and god forbid anybody step outside of it!

You're told you should only consume and succumb and be ironic and emotionless and cool.

Listen, if you're following me and you're like.... 25 or under, let's say. Please. I beg of you. Do not fall for this rhetoric. Please, for the love of all things, feel. Feel and create and be honest with yourself. Indulge in things that make you happy. Be sincere. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Do not let this hyper-capitalistic, hyper-consumerist, self-centred, individualist culture take that from you.