[insert wailing here]

i could be your deadbeat tumblr mutual

anyway i love nonlinear narratives, i love it when it's unclear where a story begins or ends, i love it when they're fragmented by recollection and perspective and record, i love it when no narrator is truly omniscient or objective or infallible however much they might wish to convince you otherwise. i love narratives that misremember their own details, that present them with equal consideration for others to evaluate and determine reality from fiction, truth from illusion; naratives that are themselves psychotic. i love narratives that double back on themselves, that go around and around in circles they can't break off from, and make no sense on a map. i love it when time is out of joint!!!

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

we can’t talk here contact me in my dream tonight

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

This was me but with beer.

making lists is so important to me like yesssss girl let's break a large concept into manageable pieces

very important for elf characters to freak the fuck out about the aging difference thing and pre-grieve like crazy and scream themself hoarse with denial when they can’t stop death itself and they still look the same as when they met the frail aged body that’s going cold beneath their touch and eventually settle into a numbness that they’ll call acceptance but they never really let anyone get as close as they did in the first century of their life unless they know they’re going to stick around as long as they will

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

"it's a tv show" "it's not real" i don't care. NO SHOES ON THE BED

tell me i did not just see a 2014 tumblr nostalgia photoset

if you were on tumblr in 2014 you may be eligible for financial compensation