˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚

canon is whatever I perceive with my third eye

this is the kinda shit you make when you're a free spirit unburdened by things like canon, i loave you stranger

sorry I didn’t show up it was because umm.. you see, I was busy. maybe another time??

ai could never outdo my beautiful perverted mutuals

this is because they write with their mind penis and have terrible childhoods and horrible luck, which seems to be the key factor in writing shakespeare level smut

and english is their 4th language

sometimes a woman hurts every man who enters her life because she's awesome

I’m gonna kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) someone else (remembers murder is bad) on accident (realizes it’s not an accident if I say I’m gonna do it) and I know because I’m from the future (remembers lying is bad) no I’m not (feels guilty) I’m so so sorry (remembers actions speak louder than words) (does a backflip)

one day i will snap out of it im sure

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

and for my next trick I will fail again and again

I’ve seen you people thirst after men I wouldn’t even feed to my creature

me after a minor inconvenience: i hope i get hit by a [remembers i’m anti car-centric infrastructure] pedestrian

The kind of sex I want requires like 3 layers of psychological manipulation

Unhealthy ships in a fandom are a bioindicator. They're like finding caterpillars on your produce. You may not want to consume them---you may even find them disgusting---but if they aren't there at all, you know that stuff is COVERED in toxicity.

There are some people in the reblogs saying "too many caterpillars are unhealthy too though!" but they are WRONG. You can always remove a caterpillar but you can't wash off pesticide

babygirl im gonna fuck you until you can walk #divinemiraclepenis