Noah's tumblr

Back at Bimbo University, I used to be an undergraduate slacker attending the courses of many brilliant professors. Chief among them was Dr. Spud, who had a kooky theory that a potato could serve as a universal Turing machine. I'll save you the boring explanation of just what a universal Turing machine is, we're all friends here, but the important thing to know here is that Dr. Spud eventually went to hospital after getting an acute case of math poisoning.

As his least promising student, the most promising students left the duty of documenting his research to me. Research, as you may already know, is very exciting. You get to find out cool new things, do wacky experiments, and tell everyone at parties that you're uncovering the mysteries of the universe.

Documenting that research, on the other hand, sucks what the kids are now calling "ass." It's monotonous, boring, and you often get about halfway into a sentence before you realize that you never actually collected the data that backs up the words you are saying. So then you have to go back and do some more experiments, and your faculty advisor starts mentioning how bad it looks for you to be not publishing, and then eventually they give you the guillotine. Yeah. Bimbo University is a research school, kids, and Dr. Spud's entire enterprise was going to be in some deep shit if I couldn't at least coauthor a paper out of his stuff. He'd probably end up at Uptight University, a party school that has no chance whatsoever of getting a fat stipend from IBM.

We don’t have any of the large predators we used to (black bears, mountain lions, or gray wolves) but still retain large deer populations. If nothing is removing animals, they’ll quickly overload the carrying capacity of the environment and have massive losses to starvation and disease that can also pass on to livestock. Human hunters replace the large predators that our landscape can no longer support.

It’s kinder to euthanize an un-releasable hawk rather than try to find it a permanent home with humans. Wildlife rehabs have extremely limited space and resources and are usually run entirely on donated money and volunteer time. Only a few are large and stable enough to care for permanent residents long-term, and those spots are few and far between.

An invasive species poses a danger to threatened native wildlife. I will admit- Australian possums are adorable. But not in New Zealand, where they’re an invasive species that eats the eggs of ground-dwelling birds that previously had no such predators. The landowners I worked with replanting native bush, all native Maori, had no qualms about setting the dogs on them.

What is your explanation for these daily massacres in Gaza and throughout Palestine?

lords of the forest fire

"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."

the idea that failure is an individual failing and not the oppressions of a broken system.