thinking about how insane ruben is for the way he killed niall
he had to make sure niall loved him the same way he loved niall first. he didn’t want to make him ugly. he touched niall tenderly and with love before he did it. he calmed niall down. he had niall match his breathing. gave him something to drink. he was loving in the best way and the absolute worst ways. he laid on top of him and cried and screamed i love you while doing what his dad did to him. by trying to be the closest to niall like he always wanted. but he couldn’t stop and i think ruben wanted to, but once that switch flips, he just can’t. it’s like he’s outside of himself. it’s why he had to put distance between him and niall’s body. because loving niall is loving himself and killing niall was killing himself.
