The Okayish Gatsby

“what’s your five year plan” bro i wake up every day confused by the fact that i’m even alive

The censored version of super graphic ultra modern girl that plays at my workplace is actually superior because they censor the word “fugly” so Chappell just goes “He was wearing these……. Jeans.” and it sounds way more devastating

when boy bands sing a love song addressed to the listener does that imply all 5-10 of them are in love with you at once. that seems like a lot of pressure i don't know if i want to be the nucleus of the boyband polycule.

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

I’ve actually been fucking your son for 10 years. Thank you for pasta

"Block this ad" isn't good enough, I need a feature that directly tells the company "this was so shit that it lowered my opinion of your product"

lububus should come with a webkinz style code for labubu world. and you should be allowed to do cocaine in labubu world