my internal monologue is a disaster

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

let’s do it, roger

Roger helppppp

I need you Roger!

me when i get my student loan

this is the money cat. reblog in 30 seconds and you will find yourself with more wealth

and it has its right paw up! the correct paw for this. and from the markings on its ears, it looks like it might be a calico cat. which is the luckiest kind!

One of my friends asked me the other day if I would suck one thousand dicks for a billion dollars, and I love questions like that because not only are they so demonstrative of the no-homo society we live in, but they also show a fundamental lack of understanding that some people have for the value of money. Like, do you realize just how much money one billion dollars is? Do you realize I could live my life in the lap of luxury buying literally everything I could ever want and still have a fortune to leave to my children?? For sucking some dicks?? We are talking 1 million dollars per dick sucked!! That’s just economical like come on man.

1 billion dollars and all you’d have to do is suck a dick every day for the next 2.7 years. That’s it. Plenty of people already do that. You could quit your job and literally suck dick for a living. You could suck two dicks a day and only have to suck dick for 1.4 years. You could suck 5 dicks a day for about 6 months. 5 DICKS A DAY FOR 6 MONTHS FOR A BILLION DOLLARS, OF COURSE I’LL FUCKIN DO THAT. THAT’S THE DREAM, THAT’S FUCKIN HEAVEN.

It doesn’t even say you have to do a good job, just give 1000 people a really half-assed blowjob and you’re fucking set for life

this is the post that reminds me regularly of just how ace i am.

Did you learn that at TERF school, which is for TERFs?

gender: anger

i think i’m coming off a long feminine-agenderish-indifferent streak and having weird feelings about pronouns and presentation (masculine but not? what even is that supposed to mean?) so it might actually be better to only use my name when referring to me