｡‘✧ 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕒 ｡☾‘

shiloh smiled at that, shaking his head. “ thank you, ” he said, much to soft for what was meant to be sarcastic. but he couldn’t help it, not this time. not anymore. “ not a big deal ? ” he repeated incredulously. “ i would’ve been stuck with a really shitty public defender if not for you. i don’t feel completely doomed anymore, and i appreciate now having that sort of assurance. i need as much as i can get in here. ” well… at least he now was going to do down in a slightly more dignified way with this big shot lawyer helping him out. of course, as dignified as someone with an impending guilty sentence and battery and assault and whatever the fuck else spencer’s lawyer figured out to charge him with could be. oh, God, what if he got a charge of trespassing, too ? fuck. “ doesn’t really feel like i’ve been taking good care of you lately, ” he scoffed slightly, fiddling with the cord on the phone. he’d made her cry in the past two months, for fuck’s sake. they’ve fought a lot, more than they ever have and that’s – not what a good friend does. he matched her hand placement again, palm against palm through the glass and smile small, sad. this was going to be the hardest part of all of this, wasn’t it ? alex could visit him all she wanted in prison but eventually the meetings would trickle down and space out as she moved on, got swamped with med school and meet a nice guy. losing his freedom was one thing – losing his lifeline was something else. “ really ? ” shiloh smiled a little more fully at that, amused. “ …so, you two are… done ? or are you still a thing ‘cause he finds hulk-you super hot ? ” casual.

he remembered her vividly, from the curves on her body to the simple way her head turned in sync with his. it was almost as if they were together again, save for the tears that kept making their way into the middle of their kiss. he was absolutely aware of the problems with their current position, but he couldn’t help himself under her soft touch. his breath caught in his throat when she suggested moving and he took a second before slowly nodding, sliding his hands under her thighs and lifting her with him. taking the all too familiar steps toward her bedroom, he placed her on the edge of the bed and kissed her again, running his fingers through her hair and pressing his body against hers. his breath was hasty and his voice was quiet as he spoke against her lips, not realizing that what he was about to moan the wrong name, “eden…”

“ if you rat on me she’s going to come in here yelling at me, y’know. you wouldn’t embarrass me like that. i’m trying to be the cool guy here, ” he joked, because it was easy, joking about his jail rep instead of really leaning back and accepting that fuck, i’m actually, really fucking in jail, aren’t i. shiloh opened his mouth slightly at that, shocked. alex’s dad was a really good attorney, and shiloh didn’t expect anything less of his friends. a feee had to be in the upper upper thousands, at least, and he was doing it for free ? “ i don’t know what to say, ” he mumbled, thinking how maybe things wouldn’t be so bad now that he had an actual, good lawyer. “ thank you. i – yeah. ” thank you sounded so lame but what else could he offer her besides his words ? he obviously didn’t have anything to give her in return. his eyes flicked up when he noticed her hand moving, reaching his out to press his fingers against where hers lay opposite of him. “ you have to promise me that, ” he said, quieter. “ you have to promise me you’ll visit me and all those other things. no matter what. i’ll go fucking crazy in there if i don’t ever hear from you again. i went crazy not hearing from you for a week. ” don’t fucking cry, shiloh. he felt like already he was being too raw and vulnerable and all the things he shouldn’t be around her. “ does, um. does spencer know ? that you’re helping me ? ” which side of the courtroom would she sit on ? spencer’s or shiloh’s ? and yes, he was very aware that literally every other time he brought up spencer, shit hit the fan between them, but he couldn’t help but ask. 

he chose to ignore her question of predictability, not wanting to upset her or talk about whatever made her sad. the feeling of alex laying on his chest, it never really got old. he could smell her shampoo, the alcohol on her skin, his heart beat fast as he looked down at her. nodding at her gratitude, he opened his mouth to say thank you when he suddenly felt her lips press against his. it was so familiar, from her chapped lips to the feeling inside him, and he couldn’t help but kiss her back. bringing his far arm around her, sawyer felt himself get caught up in her intoxicating lips and pulled her over his lap, his hands resting on the small of her back. this was wrong, they shouldn’t be together right now. things didn’t work the first time and he knew that the only outcome of this would be more pain, but feeling her on top of him made sawyer melt and forget all reason.

“is that you correcting me? or him correcting you?” he slammed his fist into the locker right next to them refusing to brea eye contact with her. “whatever helps you sleep at night” spencer was never one to talk like that. he thought about everything that came out of his mouth and the affect it could have on somebody. he didn’t want to think that he stopped caring, not so fast at least. he wiped his cheeks and finally broke his glare. “you’re not always going to be able to protect him. and it’s going to keep fucking you up until you come to terms with it.” he threw a shirt over his head and proceeded to get dressed, not caring that she was only standing a few feet away. “i’m sorry.”

alex blinked and dropped her arms to her sides. he was being cruel. she didn’t think he had it in him to be cruel. “fuck you,” she whispered because she was scared that if she spoke any louder, she’d start crying again. tipping her chin up, she set her jaw defiantly and folded her arms over her chest. “he’s spent the last fifteen years protecting me. the least i can do is try to do the same for him now.” she turned around to face the door to give spencer some privacy, and also to give herself a moment to collect her thoughts. “for what? pressing charges?” 

spencer didn’t know her anymore, and it absolutely killed him. he felt like he had an alex sized hole in his chest, shallow and man-made, like she carved it with her own hands. “then get poppa taylor in here to rally for your boy then? get him off the hook.” he didn’t know what he was saying anymore, but he was starting to build a wall up in between them, he didn’t want her to see in anymore. he shook his head, this isn’t what he wanted, this isn’t how is was supposed to go. but when did things ever go to plan? heat was emanating from the both of them and it filled the small space they occupied in the large area. her voice started to get smaller and smaller as spencer began to dissociate, he felt like everything was moving in slow motion. “(( i like you, spencer. a lot. i’m just…trying to figure things out )) …  (( i just. i don’t know. i want to keep spending time with you, and i’m really trying to…let go of this thing i have for shiloh. but i don’t know anything right now. )) … ((i’ve really been trying to move on, and going out with people has been a part of that. i’m sorry. i didn’t realize it’d get so real so quickly.)) …((i didn’t mean to hurt you. i never want to hurt you.))” his hands were shaking as he read the messages she had sent him. he finally met her eyes, a small amount of wetness pooling at the bottom of his before he quickly blinked them away. “for only going on two dates… you sure are asking for a lot.”

“he’s not my boy,” alex spat out, not completely sure why she felt the need to correct him as she crossed her arms over her chest. “and thankfully for you, my dad isn’t a criminal defense attorney––but he’ll be speaking to one of his colleagues, i assure you.” she wished that he had listened to her before they got tangled up in this...mess. she wished that he had realized before now that she wasn’t the person he thought she was. she wasn’t like him. she wasn’t good. she wasn’t sweet. she wasn’t forgiving. she did, however, also start to cry as she was confronted with the reality of her feelings for him. it would be so much easier, for both of them, if she didn’t give a damn about him. she could be the big, bad villain, and he could hate her for the rest of his life––and she....well, she wouldn’t be drowning in the tears on his cheeks. “i’m sorry,” she whispered, breath hitching as she bit down on the inside of her cheek until it hurt. “i’m sorry.” closing her eyes, she cleared her throat and leaned against the locker behind her, “i’m just so mad. and scared. and useless. i don’t know how to protect him from this, and it’s easier to just blame you.”      

logan knew exactly what to say to lift eden’s spirits, but in this moment he just made her feel terribly nervous and it didn’t help that she was practically naked. she tied the robe loosely so that it covered her just enough. her heart pounded in her ears as she rested against the door frame of her closet. he spoke so sweetly to her, she was convinced that she could be under the darkest of all clouds and he’d still see the light in her. “oh yeah?” she smirked as her cheeks turned red. “i’ll come and save you!!!” she said as she swooshed in and jumped up on to her bed where he was laying. she jumped a couple of times before she plopped down on top of him, straddling his mid-section. “patient wagner presents a heart rate of,” she hummed quietly as she placed her index and middle finger on the side of his neck close to his jaw, “hmm a heart rate of 140, start compressions!!” she giggled as she placed her hands in the middle of his chest and started pumping his chest lightly. “now students,” she spoke to the imaginary interns in her room, “you’re going to wanna do compressions at a rate of one hundred beats per minute. ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alive staying alive” she started singing out of tune.

sometimes, logan wondered if eden knew how he felt about her and was just teasing him with all her little blushes, and smiles, and giggles, and lipgloss, and perfume. but, fuck, if she knew how he felt and put on this little show for him anyway...nah. he was pretty sure that something that cruel was not only against her moral compass but also the geneva convention. he laughed hard enough that he might actually need cpr, but that was okay. with the warmth of eden’s thighs pressed against his sides, he’d die a pretty happy man. “slow down, tiger, i think you might accidentally break one of my ribs,” he teased with a bright grin, reaching up and tickling her sides because remembering that she was in fucking lingerie. he hands stopped against her skin, palms contouring to her waist as he struggled to remember to breathe. her skin was so fucking warm, and she was so fucking close. sliding his hands down to her hips, logan cleared his throat and flickered his gaze to her face, “you...should get off of me.” but he didn’t let go of her. in fact, his grip against her skin tightened.  

his mind was absolutely blown. he had to pinch himself to make sure he was actually awake and everything he was hearing was true. i dont understand, i dont understand, i don’t understaaaaaannnndddd, he mentally yelled at himself as her voice filled the empty locker room. “it is that simple alex? its either you testify and tell the truth? or you don’t testify and based on the evidence provided, shiloh gets five years. i know my lawyer explained all of this.” he wanted to desperately to feel what she felt, but he couldn’t allow himself too. he knew it would just make him melt into her like putty, and she didn’t get to have that control over him, not about this. he slammed his locker shut and walked over to her, “oh yeah great scheme, because that would be perjury which could get you five years. but i guess that’d be cute huh?” he looked at her, his eyes fiery, his words even hotter. “you’re right i will never understand exactly how you’re feeling. it will never make sense to me, and quite frankly i don’t want it to make sense.” he dragged his hands through his hair, tugging ever so slightly. “i didn’t see him for me alex.. i saw him for you. i am not selfish, not everything i do benefits me.” he spat at her, knowing exactly what he was insinuating. “i saw him because i’m thinking about dropping the charges.”

alex let out a chuckle so dark that she was honestly a little shocked that it came out of her mouth. “my dad is a lawyer, spence, and if there’s one thing i know about lawyers––it’s that they lie, especially when they’re young, naive state prosecutors.” she knew that there was a part of her that still cared about him, and she also knew that there was a part of her that would feel incredibly guilty about this after she’d calmed down––but the only alex she could hear in her head was incredibly in love and incredibly scared. she didn’t know what to do with either of those emotions, so anger seemed like the best option. “you’d have to prove it first,” she said lowly, voice like ice with a glare to match. alex did her best not to flinch at the loud bang his locker door made, but she couldn’t hide the small step back she took. she’d never seen him this mad before––but she was mad, too, and he could puff up his chest as much as he wanted, but she wasn’t going anywhere. “oh i’m selfish now? you don’t know a fucking thing about me. don’t pretend we were more than what we were. it was two dates, not a fucking love affair.” she folded her arms over her chest and pursed her lips together to keep her face from crumpling. “and are you?”    

they were laughing. just like that. it might have been quick, the static between them after their fight, their kiss, but it was even quicker, how they came back together. a lot of things were going wrong for shiloh but this – this wasn’t one of them. “ as if. you know how fussy maura gets about my hair, ” he smiled into the phone. if he was in a romcom he’d be one of those fucking middle schoolers calling their crush at night with their ankles linked in the air. ridiculous. he sighed, scratching at the underside of his jaw. “ and he’s doing this for free ? are you sure ? ” it’d suck, obviously, if they lost the case and shiloh was sent to prison; it’d suck even more if his parents had retainer fees on top of that. he watched as alex assured him of their future, silent as she spoke. his eyes fell on her lips and God, he was thinking about their kiss again. he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since it happened, truthfully. it was like – like he couldn’t ever imagine not kissing her again. and over the week shiloh’s come to terms that okay, alright, that wasn’t a normal friend thing to think about, was it. maybe he… maybe he liked alex more than a friend. he did like her more than a friend – shiloh liked alex a lot. but it was a little fucking late for that revelation, wasn’t it. “ what if it’s not okay, though ? ” he asked her. he’d love it, honestly, if they survived through this again, but the odds were nowhere near his favor this time around. “ what happens to us if i get sent to prison for this ? ”

alex looked like a ghost standing before him and he couldn’t control the surprise that flashed across his face. it soon turned to hurt as soon as she opened her mouth. he felt stupid to even think she’d be here on a positive note. he had just had her best friend arrested and of course his prosecutor had given her a call. he refused to meet her eyes as he spoke into his locker, “testify or don’t testify, you’re going to make a statement regardless” he fidgeted with the hair at the nape of his neck before letting out a loud groan. “i’m not asking you to to put him in jail. his actions did that to himself and i know it sucks that you feel like your words and your stories of almosts, and what-ifs with him aren’t going to save him.”

had she not been so incredibly pissed off, she probably would’ve noticed that he was in a towel and picked another time to yell at him with righteous anger, but she was far too focused on trying not to let her tears distract him from how mad she was. “really? it’s that fucking simple for you.” she folded her arms over her chest and tried to look a lot taller than she actually was. “what if i lie, huh? what if i tell them i told him to hurt you because you hurt me. juries love a knight in shining armor.” she wasn’t sure if she had it in her to lie about spencer on the stand, but she sure as hell knew that she’d do just about anything to keep shiloh out of prison. she glared at him and clenched her jaw, “no, you have no fucking idea how i’m feeling right now.” staring at him for a moment, alex let her arms fall to her sides and arched her brow, “you really think that seeing him in prison is going to make you feel better? you really think that it’s going to change anything for you?”     

Jayden knew that the likelihood of Logan liking him was slim. After all, he was one of Eden’s closest friends, and probably knew about what really went down between the two. “Yeah, by me.” he stated confidently, a smirk forming on his face as he pulled out the chair and sat next to the other male. “How ya doing, Logan?”

logan gripped the pen in his hand until his knuckles turned white and ground his teeth together, doing his best to remember that he was an evolved human being (( no matter how fucking nice knocking jayden over the head with a club sounded )). “oh, you know, pretty fucking great considering sleeping in eden’s bed is like sleeping on a cloud. really. i think i saw jesus motherfuckin’ christ for a minute there.”   

of course he would do what she asked. the moment alex wanted anything, sawyer felt as if he were dating her again. he used to drop everything to be with her, and even though she didn’t call him for emotional outbursts he still would move the world for her. he took a few steps closer, pausing to look at her slumped against the couch and leaned down, gently pulling her shoes off. slowly, sawyer sat down next to her and pulled her body close, giving her a gentle kiss on the top of her head. however badly he wanted to feel her against him again, he knew that it was the wrong time. he didn’t long for her touch anymore, there was someone else who made his blood rush and his stomach erupt with butterflies. despite still softening when seeing her, he no longer felt the need to immediately rush over and hold her. “alex, you’re an incredible woman. i… i don’t know what happened but whoever made you feel bad enough to drink so much doesn’t deserve you,” he knew that he never deserved her, and he hated the thought of her running back to shiloh after what ever he did to hurt her this time.

bridget couldn’t seem to contain her giggle as she watched him steal her food. she reached toward him to press her thumb against his chin, catching a bit of bbq sauce that had dripped before he had the chance to lick it away. this was one thing she liked about being with logan, that they could sit and talk as if they were normal friends, eat sloppy food and watch trashy television but still fuck like maniacs. shaking her head, she uncovered her burger and placed a few fries under the bun before taking another bite, “don’t tell me they were fighting over you… you’re not cute enough for that, my baby.” of course she was joking, since she knew quite well how attractive he was, but at times she wished she could keep him to herself. that wouldn’t make their excursions nearly as fun, though, and she would feel severely limited at the same time.

“i never claimed it was. you just claimed it wasn’t.” and yet now alex was sitting her in a tizzy because anything galilea could possibly say about her was probably right. “that’s fine. not everything always resonates, that’s why you have a whole chart. we can look at yours together if you want; find out your moon, ascendant, venus. it’ll be fun.” she smiled. alex probably wasn’t going to want to do that, but galilea put the offer up anyway.

alex studied her through a narrowed gaze with pursed lips, “but you would, wouldn’t you. you’re a fatalist. i can tell.” she was more than a little ashamed to admit that she was slightly curious about all the words galilea just used (( because she was a scientist and had a duty to be curious, obviously )). of course, she’d rather stab a fork in her eye than admit it. “fun as a therapy session,” she deadpanned, blinking at her a couple times. “i don’t need a chart to tell me i’m a bitch. i already knew that.”

shiloh felt like his breath caught in his throat when she said it back. he didn’t think she actually missed him as well, had been spending the past week learning how to be just the shiloh in shilohandalex. he chuckled slightly, honestly shocked that she said it back, the smallest sign of life behind his recently dulled eyes. “ did you know i fucking googled the best way to apologize to someone ? i just felt like such shit and wanted to try and make things better between us if i could, and youtube rec’d me some video from a movie with heath ledger singing to a girl on the bleachers. i would’ve done that for you. ” it was too easy – scarily easy, almost, how fast shiloh felt like he could be normal around alex again. but he bit his bottom lip after he spoke, because he needs to hold back. that was the issue the first time. that’s why they stopped talking. he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, couldn’t figure out why it felt impossible being just her friend. alex was with spencer, he had to remember that. that’s why he was behind bars, after all. “ he must be looking at a different fucking case, then, ” shiloh mumbled, biting harder on his lip before wincing at the pain. it was still taking time for it to heal from the fight. “ i wasn’t ever mad at you, alex, ” he said, looking at her, “ and you didn’t ruin anything. everything shitty that’s happened in the past couple of weeks have been because of me. ” he sighed at that last part, opening his mouth to say something before closing it, rethinking his words. he swallowed hard. “ can we be honest with each other right now ? because i – i don’t think you’ll have me with you for much longer, alex. realistically. i don’t… i don’t have any hope for this case. i think a jury’s going to see me and look at me and hear what i did and want to send me to prison because of it. ”

eden had been keeping to herself. the cops were sniffing around again and she refused to get caught up with anything or anyone. but when logan popped up at her front door she couldn’t say no to spending some time with him. the last time they were actually together was the night of her party, in her bed, fully clothed, sharing strawberries and champagne. but for the first time ever, she had woken up in a bed they lied in together the night before, alone. she swallowed her feelings from that night as fast as she could as she stepped out of her closet in her newest purchases. she nervously chewed her lip as she saw his face and went to get a black silky robe to cover up some, “i– i was just saying that… i haven’t been feeling like myself lately. so the lady at victoria’s secret convinced me to splurge… but now that i’m looking at it? i don’t know. she really played with my feelings to get me to buy this.” she sighed letting a small nervous laugh fall from her lips, “do i look like i’m going through emotional turmoil or something?”

logan wasn’t sure if he was more grateful or disappointed when eden reached for her robe. apparently, he was capable of complex emotions when it came to eden rose. he was going to make a joke (( because he always made a joke )), but something about the way she was standing made him bite his tongue. it should be a crime for a woman like eden rose to be insecure, he mused to himself. she didn’t let people see it often, but he knew what it meant when she started folding into herself like a collapsing tower of cards. “you look beautiful,” he finally hummed, voice uncharacteristically warm with softness. “breathtaking, actually. literally breathtaking,” his signature grin flickered back onto his lips, “i think you might need to give me cpr just in case.”