* // &. ░ – legendary

“he’s not my boy,” alex spat out, not completely sure why she felt the need to correct him as she crossed her arms over her chest. “and thankfully for you, my dad isn’t a criminal defense attorney––but he’ll be speaking to one of his colleagues, i assure you.” she wished that he had listened to her before they got tangled up in this…mess. she wished that he had realized before now that she wasn’t the person he thought she was. she wasn’t like him. she wasn’t good. she wasn’t sweet. she wasn’t forgiving. she did, however, also start to cry as she was confronted with the reality of her feelings for him. it would be so much easier, for both of them, if she didn’t give a damn about him. she could be the big, bad villain, and he could hate her for the rest of his life––and she….well, she wouldn’t be drowning in the tears on his cheeks. “i’m sorry,” she whispered, breath hitching as she bit down on the inside of her cheek until it hurt. “i’m sorry.” closing her eyes, she cleared her throat and leaned against the locker behind her, “i’m just so mad. and scared. and useless. i don’t know how to protect him from this, and it’s easier to just blame you.”      

“is that you correcting me? or him correcting you?” he slammed his fist into the locker right next to them refusing to brea eye contact with her. “whatever helps you sleep at night” spencer was never one to talk like that. he thought about everything that came out of his mouth and the affect it could have on somebody. he didn’t want to think that he stopped caring, not so fast at least. he wiped his cheeks and finally broke his glare. “you’re not always going to be able to protect him. and it’s going to keep fucking you up until you come to terms with it.” he threw a shirt over his head and proceeded to get dressed, not caring that she was only standing a few feet away. “i’m sorry.”

“mm, maybe you’d know him. tall, dark, and handsome type. beautiful brown eyes, a chocolatey voice…” when he stuck his tongue out at her she grinned, feet shuffling on the tile of the locker room. “i don’t know about that. i think he’s pretty good.” spencer was more than good; he literally had people scouting him out before he graduated. while she didn’t know that much about soccer, she knew talent when she saw it and spencer had a whole truckload of potential. “if my buns aren’t tight my hair falls out all the time, so. it’s either temporary face lift and pain or stopping every five minutes to redo my hair.” sometimes in modern class she’d just wear her hair completely down, but that’s not where she had been at. she watched him as he finished getting dressed, leaning back on her hands and kicking her legs precariously. sometimes she wished she weren’t so tall so that she could swing her legs, or just generally be disconnected from the floor when sitting. “okay. sounds good to me.” she wasn’t sure if a shower would make her feel raring to go or if it would make her comfortable enough to sleep, but the only way to find out was to go and test it out. she wasn’t opposed to the idea of just playing video games with spencer or something, or even just talking until they fell asleep. when he wrapped an arm around her shoulder she buried herself into his side, arms wrapping around his waist. unlike him she lingered, clinging on for another moment. “joyriding? wow, thanks for the invite.” she joked, finally releasing him to wander out of the locker room. she pushed her way out of the building, holding the door open for spencer on the way out and making their way towards the parking lot. “i haven’t really been home all week except to change clothes and sleep, so. it’s kind of a mess…” she forewarned, remembering the various clothes that were scattered all over her room as a result of her busy week. after being in his practically-immaculate apartment she felt like she was going to look like a slob in comparison. when they got to his car - it was muddy, her dad would kill her if she treated her jeep like that - she pretended to zip her lips and lock them with a key, tossing the key onto the asphalt of the parking lot. 

he wanted so badly to hold her hand as she walked beside him, but he didn’t want to come on too strong. even though they had talked on the phone and they both had talked about liking one another, they still hadn’t gotten the opportunity to talk about it in person yet. “hmmm? chocolatey voice? that sounds like my good friend spencer tate, you got the hots for him? let me find out.” he snorted as he walked swiftly to his car in order to open up the door for her. “oh yeah?? well tell him to meet me on the field, he’s gonna have to go neck and neck with me” he smiled at her as he watched her hop in. he made his way around the front of the car and hopped into the drivers seat. “the things you do for what you love.” he looked over at her once last time before starting the car. immediately his bluetooth kicked in and the car was filled with the sound of freaky by tory lanez, “fun fact: i only listen to tory lanez on game days, he gets me crazy hype before stepping on to the field.” he made his way out of the arena parking lot, luckily the student dorms were only about 10 minutes from where they were now. “if you’re into that we can definitely make it happen. i really like off roading. back home i used to do it on the beach a lot, so mud is new and fun. there’s also a lake real close to where i was at, it looked fun.” he said suggestively as he made a mental note to bring it up maybe later in the week. lil had dorm roommates and all of that stuff and he was extremely grateful that hyland paid for his own little private apartment so that he could come and go as he pleased and he didn’t have to worry about other people being in his stuff. he pulled up slowly in front of the dorms and parked up. “don’t worry about it, you should’ve seen our house when all six of us whizzed through it” he hopped out and made his way around to open the door for her.

alex let out a chuckle so dark that she was honestly a little shocked that it came out of her mouth. “my dad is a lawyer, spence, and if there’s one thing i know about lawyers––it’s that they lie, especially when they’re young, naive state prosecutors.” she knew that there was a part of her that still cared about him, and she also knew that there was a part of her that would feel incredibly guilty about this after she’d calmed down––but the only alex she could hear in her head was incredibly in love and incredibly scared. she didn’t know what to do with either of those emotions, so anger seemed like the best option. “you’d have to prove it first,” she said lowly, voice like ice with a glare to match. alex did her best not to flinch at the loud bang his locker door made, but she couldn’t hide the small step back she took. she’d never seen him this mad before––but she was mad, too, and he could puff up his chest as much as he wanted, but she wasn’t going anywhere. “oh i’m selfish now? you don’t know a fucking thing about me. don’t pretend we were more than what we were. it was two dates, not a fucking love affair.” she folded her arms over her chest and pursed her lips together to keep her face from crumpling. “and are you?”    

spencer didn’t know her anymore, and it absolutely killed him. he felt like he had an alex sized hole in his chest, shallow and man-made, like she carved it with her own hands. “then get poppa taylor in here to rally for your boy then? get him off the hook.” he didn’t know what he was saying anymore, but he was starting to build a wall up in between them, he didn’t want her to see in anymore. he shook his head, this isn’t what he wanted, this isn’t how is was supposed to go. but when did things ever go to plan? heat was emanating from the both of them and it filled the small space they occupied in the large area. her voice started to get smaller and smaller as spencer began to dissociate, he felt like everything was moving in slow motion. “(( i like you, spencer. a lot. i'm just...trying to figure things out )) ...  (( i just. i don't know. i want to keep spending time with you, and i'm really trying to...let go of this thing i have for shiloh. but i don't know anything right now. )) ... ((i've really been trying to move on, and going out with people has been a part of that. i'm sorry. i didn't realize it'd get so real so quickly.)) ...((i didn't mean to hurt you. i never want to hurt you.))” his hands were shaking as he read the messages she had sent him. he finally met her eyes, a small amount of wetness pooling at the bottom of his before he quickly blinked them away. “for only going on two dates... you sure are asking for a lot.”

lil scrunched her nose up, glad that the dance department was kind of under the radar. she didn’t know what she’d do if someone was just rummaging through her bag. at his comment she glanced down at her boots, using her tangled hair to hide the pleased smile on her face. “don’t tell anyone, but i’m kind of cozy with one of the star players so i get special treatment.” security was still pretty tight outside, making sure the crowd left the pitch - which lil had done, just… not in the direction she was supposed to go. when he came over to take the towel from her she looked up at him through her eyelashes, fluttering them playfully. “as much as i love a good high bun my scalp appreciates my hair down more, too.” and then, as soon as he was near her he was gone, wandering away to continue getting dressed. she thought for a moment, hum in her throat as she wobbled her way to the bench and took a seat. she did love a good party, but could she really get that crazy around spencer? she didn’t really know what he would think of her. he was kind of the epitome of jock so he probably wouldn’t be too phased, but… she just didn’t want to ruin his impression of her. “i mean, i’m not really party-ready.” she looked down at the tights peaking from under her boots. her leotard was pretty uncomfortable and she could probably use a shower. “but i’m down for whatever as long as i get to spend time with you.” she only realized how true it was once the words were out of her mouth. she wasn’t trying to be stereotypically complacent and indecisive, really. “can we stop at mine so i can shower on the way?” 

“cozy? with whomst?” he smiled as he pulled out a plain white t and brought it over his head. “well this star player you speak of can’t be better than me so hmph, “ he said as he crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his tongue out at her. he laughed at her statement, “yeah the bun makes it look like you have a crazy face lift. i can only imagine how uncomfortable it is. i’ve always wanted to grow my hair out long enough to be able to french braid the top, but as soon as it get’s long enough i tell my barber i want it all off” he said as he continued to run product through his hair. he slipped into some suede chelsea boots and cardigan before he spritz himself with some cologne. he looked over at her and studied her outfit quickly, she looked like someone he’d buy drinks for all night. nonetheless, he nodded and put his duffel over his bag and pulled out his car keys. “well we can go back to your place and you can get showered and if you’re feeling up to it sure” he said placing his arm over her shoulder bringing her into him before dropping his arm back down to his side. “i will warn you though, i went joyriding in the mud... so the outside of my car is um.. well you’ll see” he laughed as he opened the locker room door for her “after you ma’dam”

had she not been so incredibly pissed off, she probably would’ve noticed that he was in a towel and picked another time to yell at him with righteous anger, but she was far too focused on trying not to let her tears distract him from how mad she was. “really? it’s that fucking simple for you.” she folded her arms over her chest and tried to look a lot taller than she actually was. “what if i lie, huh? what if i tell them i told him to hurt you because you hurt me. juries love a knight in shining armor.” she wasn’t sure if she had it in her to lie about spencer on the stand, but she sure as hell knew that she’d do just about anything to keep shiloh out of prison. she glared at him and clenched her jaw, “no, you have no fucking idea how i’m feeling right now.” staring at him for a moment, alex let her arms fall to her sides and arched her brow, “you really think that seeing him in prison is going to make you feel better? you really think that it’s going to change anything for you?”   

his mind was absolutely blown. he had to pinch himself to make sure he was actually awake and everything he was hearing was true. i dont understand, i dont understand, i don’t understaaaaaannnndddd, he mentally yelled at himself as her voice filled the empty locker room. “it is that simple alex? its either you testify and tell the truth? or you don’t testify and based on the evidence provided, shiloh gets five years. i know my lawyer explained all of this.” he wanted to desperately to feel what she felt, but he couldn’t allow himself too. he knew it would just make him melt into her like putty, and she didn’t get to have that control over him, not about this. he slammed his locker shut and walked over to her, “oh yeah great scheme, because that would be perjury which could get you five years. but i guess that’d be cute huh?” he looked at her, his eyes fiery, his words even hotter. “you’re right i will never understand exactly how you’re feeling. it will never make sense to me, and quite frankly i don’t want it to make sense.” he dragged his hands through his hair, tugging ever so slightly. “i didn’t see him for me alex.. i saw him for you. i am not selfish, not everything i do benefits me.” he spat at her, knowing exactly what he was insinuating. “i saw him because i’m thinking about dropping the charges.”

watching spencer’s body language change, sawyer felt more confident walking further into the locker room. he had forgotten a few things, mainly his car keys, so he would have to enter eventually. letting out a small sigh, he sat on the bench next to the other man before laughing at his story, “at least they weren’t trying to get your jock strap, right? i’m constantly afraid of that.” it wasn’t as if he had heard of that happening beyond television or movies, but those seemed real enough. and he was sure that spencer wasn’t only tired from the beginning of fall, but he didn’t want to pry. it wasn’t his place, despite him being worried. “honestly? i don’t think anyone thinks about it any more. people are fucking dicks, but i doubt you’re at the front of their mind. – they’re too worried thinking about who they’re going to hit on next or when they’ll run out of weed,” he attempted to reassure spencer, although he wasn’t sure if it would actually work. 

“listen if you’re stealing jock straps in your free-time, im gonna let you be great. i want no parts of confronting someone doing that. i saw that netflix show with penn badgley, and i don’t wanna end up like the chick because some stalker walks my jock-strap” he busted out laughing, but the possibility of having someone like that after him still freaked him out. he looked over at sawyer and gave him a small smile. he hadn’t talked to a single person about his situation, and to be frank no one really asked him about it. but he knew they were talking, behind closed doors. “thanks man... normally i just plow through stuff. i guess it’s been catching up. but enough about me. you need a ride to Millers?” he lifted his keys suggesting spencer being DD.

alex wasn’t sure why she thought spencer would magically change his mind at the last minute. she usually expected the worst; maybe his optimism had rubbed off on her after all. how ironic. she wasn’t really thinking when she stormed into the locker room, briefly thanking the universe that there weren’t any naked men to witness her outburst. “your lawyer told me if this goes to trial, i’ll have to testify,” she spat out, eyes still wet with angry tears from the unpleasant phone call she had with a rather pushy prosecutor. “i won’t do it. i’m not going to help you put my best friend in prison.”   

alex looked like a ghost standing before him and he couldn’t control the surprise that flashed across his face. it soon turned to hurt as soon as she opened her mouth. he felt stupid to even think she’d be here on a positive note. he had just had her best friend arrested and of course his prosecutor had given her a call. he refused to meet her eyes as he spoke into his locker, “testify or don’t testify, you’re going to make a statement regardless” he fidgeted with the hair at the nape of his neck before letting out a loud groan. “i’m not asking you to to put him in jail. his actions did that to himself and i know it sucks that you feel like your words and your stories of almosts, and what-ifs with him aren’t going to save him.”

his smile made butterflies careen in her stomach. it was nice to see his face - well and truly see it, without as much of the bruising and scars. she could feel her face heat up at his wink, a smile of her own drawing up the corners of her mouth. “is it really this easy for people to sneak in here? don’t you guys get worried?” she rushed to catch the towel as he tossed it at her, trying hard to maintain the eye contact. but after a moment she couldn’t help it, gaze dropping downwards to take him in with a less than subtle look down and then back up to his eyes, chewing idly at her lip.  “i did have rehearsals.” as if reminded she draped his towel over her arm and started to take the pins out of her hair to free it from it’s bun. “but my choreographer ran out of steam so she let us out early. i figured i’d try to make it..” she trailed off, resting her head against the lockers as she watched him, trying to fluff out the roots of her hair. “that sucks ass. but i mean, the circle of life i guess. and better for you guys.” she gestured to him. “did you still want to do something…?” well, she was here so she hoped so. but even if he didn’t she wouldn’t be too butt hurt. sometimes she couldn’t even fathom the idea of being around people after shows.

she looked good. really good. her face looked sleek, and her lion mane of curls was pulled into a high bun on the top of her hair. he had to blink a couple of times to get himself to refocus. “listen last week i had a girl elbow deep in my bag, i don’t know what she was looking for but they just hired security.” his eyes trailed her body once more, “but obviously they let anybody with a cute face in here” he shrugged as he laughed. he looked through his bag and pulled out a pair of jeans to shimmy up his legs. he walked over to get his towel from her to dry his hair, “i’m happy that you did, even if you only saw the last fifteen minutes of the half,” he watched as she shook her hair down, it framed her face even nicer than the bun and he smiled warmly at her– “i like the bun, its sophisticated.. but it doesn’t compare to the curls” he said lowly as he reached up to play with the loose ends of her hair. he walked back to his bag with the towel over his head and began to dry his freshly conditioned hair before reaching into his bag and getting some leave-in to keep it moisturized. his smile only got bigger as she suggested plans, “the rest of the guys are on their way to Miller’s with some friends. we can meet up with them? unless you have something else in mind?”

The victory for the team had been nearly flawless and Pandora was happy to say they were a fan of the team and the players themselves. All amazing guys alone, when they came together on the field it made everything that much more flawless to watch. The match had been close but the team had pulled it out and Pandora wanted to congratulate their favorite player. He’d gone into the locker room so quickly, Dora hadn’t had the chance to say something to him before so they stood outside awkwardly. Finally when the last teammate walked out and gave them a fleeting smile. Poking their head in, Dora spotted the bare back of Spencer and nearly choked, ducking back out of the door quickly to gather them self. Peaking around the door again, they catch his eye and smile, hand raised in a wave. If he’d said something, they’d missed it. 

spencer jumped sightly as he noticed dora peeking at him from around a row of lockers. he had noticed that they were in the stands while he was playing and he made sure to make a mental note to take them, but now that they were here he didn’t have to run around to try and find them. “hey dora,” he signed at them with a smile. “come out from hiding i promise i’ll throw a shirt on to protect your precious little eyes” he spoke while he signed this time. 

lil had somehow managed to get out of her rehearsals early, being released a whole thirty minutes before their time was up. she’d quickly packed up her things, staring up at the clock as she wiggled into her boots and practically ran towards the soccer pitch. desperate? maybe. but after her phone call with spencer she was dying to see him, and making it to the tail-end of his game was the perfect excuse. she waited for a majority of the people to leave once it was over, watching the exit of the athletics building for spencer with the bobby-pins in her bun too tight and her trash bag chic ballet sweats rustling against each other as she bounced her legs in anticipation. when it took him a while to emerge she made her way over, slipping in past one of his exiting teammates and planting herself outside of the locker room. she’d either missed spencer or he was the last one inside, and she took a moment of hesitation - she’d probably get in so much trouble if someone caught her - before pushing the locker room doors open. hearing him call out she wandered around the line of lockers in her way, only having the thought as she did so that her being in here was a huge invasion of privacy. “mm, don’t get dressed on my account.” yeah, spencer in a towel was definitely an invasion of privacy, but she’d only regret it if he got mad at her for coming in here to snoop and bother him. she leaned against one of the rows, hands shoved into the depths of her pockets. “good game…” she congratulated him hesitantly. she’d only seen the last fifteen minutes, but a win was a win regardless of what time she’d gotten there. she was trying not to stare at him, but wasn’t entirely sure if it was working. 

spencer stood frozen in his spot as he gripped his locker slightly. he knew shiloh had been arrested earlier in the day so he’d be lying if he said that was the only thing putting a damper on the teams victory. his expression soon softened as he saw a familiar curly-haired face emerge from the shadows. lillian. he smiled at her, for real this time seeing that the last time she saw him his face was badly bruised. “alright thomas coming in for the kill,” he winked at her as he stepped in front of the locker and dropped his towel and tossed it in her directions. the locker was wide enough to cover exactly what needed to be covered while also letting lil use some of her imagination. he kept eye contact with her as he shimmied boxer briefs up his legs, “i thought you had rehearsal?” he asked as he shut the locker. he remembered she’d told him because he had plans on asking her to hang out after the game, but he was worried she’d be too tired. “one step closer to play offs, but they were a relatively new team. all of their seniors graduated this past year, so they basically had to build a new team. they were good though i’ll give it to them”

“not coach, just me,” sawyer called out to his teammate with a reassuring voice. it seemed as though the other man was genuinely exhausted, and although he didn’t want to be one to perpetuate it, he knew that people would soon enter the locker room in hopes of catching their favorite players off guard. “dude, i would hurry up if i were you. people are starting to head over, i don’t want you to get your towel stolen,” he laughed and whipped his own towel on the bench near spencer. it wasn’t close enough to hit him but it would still have been a bit surprising unless he was paying attention. sawyer tugged on his own clothes, buttoning his pants and rubbing the towel against his head before speaking again, “are you okay, though? you seem worn out.”

he relaxed as he saw sawyer pop up behind a row of lockers. lately a lot of “fans” had been coming in to try and catch some of the players after the games. he hated to call them fans, but it was getting to the point where it was becoming overbearing and school security had to step in. “yeah they’ll steal it and try to sell it on eBay or something” he cracked a smile as he threw a shirt over his wet head. “it’s been getting ridiculous lately. i caught someone rummaging through my bag last game with a pair of my socks in hand?” he tilted his head to the side as he pictured the girl once more elbow deep in his duffel looking for god knows what. “i think it’s the time of year.. the sun is coming down a lot earlier. all that science shit” he sighed knowing that he was rambling, “it’s just been a tough time. i’ll be okay though”

“all the more reason to do it.” wedging her way into spencer’s home life sounded personal, but lil thought she might be up to the task. if she could take on her goddaughter’s soccer team she could handle a couple of spencer’s little sisters. “you must miss them…” she missed her brother, but that was a different kind of separation; one that lil thought might be the best for both of them. it wasn’t just distance. she scrunched her nose up as spencer listed things off about her that matched up with the description of a scorpio, sleepy eyes blinking open to glare at him playfully. “you’d better not tell anyone. you’re gonna ruin my street cred.” the truth was, spencer managed to tug something out of her that lil couldn’t find with most people, but she couldn’t explain how. he was all warmth, and lil felt like she probably needed that. “what about you? when’s your birthday?” she’d do her best to remember it so that she could get him something. she guessed he was right; maybe she was considerate and caring, at least a little bit. she relished in the feeling of him playing with her hair, hand hesitantly traveling up to brush over his arm - too chicken to go for his hand. his laugh made a burst of happiness erupt in her chest. “i’d say that sums up me and shiloh’s friendship, honestly.” honestly, sometimes she didn’t know if shiloh was good for her, but their banter was entertaining and he was fun to hang out with so she tried not to think about it too hard. besides, it wasn’t like she could be ruthlessly mean to someone and they’d just take it. not like him. “i feel like we were siblings in a past life. if past lives existed.” they grated on each other’s nerves too much. “i mean, he started it. don’t beat yourself up over it. shiloh’s the type that has to learn the hard way.” lil knew because she was usually the same way; stupidly impulsive, a few ticks too irrational, mostly fueled by anger. at least therapy put a tamper on most of it for lil. her eyes searched his face for a moment, biting her lip nervously as she contemplated what she wanted to do next. she shifted herself up onto her elbow, hesitantly closing the space between them to press a feather light kiss to his cheek. she lingered a bit before settling back down next to him, proximity even closer this time. “no problem. any time.” 

he could picture them walking along the beach. stella on his shoulders, selene and scarlet dragging lil to each new shell they just so happened to find. he made sure to keep the thought close to him, maybe one day. “miss is the understatement of the year, but hopefully i get to fly home this christmas break, or fly them up here with my mom and samu” he sighed as he pictured them all around a huge christmas tree in front of his fireplace in his living room here. “what’s your family like?” he hummed as he traced small patterns into the middle of her back not thinking much of it. he shook his head into his pillow, “well.. if it ever got out, i’d still consider you the coolest. and i know you’d kick everybody’s ass so there’s that.” he stated matter-of-factly. that’s probably one of the things he admired most about lil. she knew who she was, and wouldn’t let anyone try and shake her on it. “i’m march 2nd, so that makes me a pisces,” intuitive, passionate, and super aware of his emotions. he got his palm read once and had a girl in high school do his birth chart and now he liked to sometimes thing he could use information like that to his advantage. “gross. but to each his own” he cracked a small smile. even though shiloh had beat his face in, he wouldn’t say he hated him and he’d get over it eventually. yes he had to press charges to get over it though, but he thought that maybe he needed it– lesson learned. “i feel like past lives are definitely a thing, you dont?” he peaked up at her. he wanted to learn about her, the ins and outs, as long as she’d let him know. “that sucks... for him especially, but also for a lot of people around him,” he immediately thought of alex and how he had her wrapped around his fingers as the dull ache in his chest made itself known. his eyes widened as she moved closer to his face. her breath was shallow and warm on his cheek. her lips were soft on his skin and his eyes fluttered shut, relishing in the moment. the second her lips left his cheeks, he felt cold and without thought he completely closed the space between them. he nuzzled his face into her chest and fully wrapped his arms around her small frame.