Belay Your Fucks

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

forgot to leave a note for my doordasher to bring a blunt weapon to get past the catacomb skeletons so congrats to whichever necromancer is about to get my banh mi i guess

i'd never jerk off. i'm nice. i'd only hero off.

mtg's the hobbit set is fucking hysterical because as it turns out there are not enough things in one very short book to make even a small magic set and so they are literally having to make cards of every ranbdom sentence that was said in the book just to fill slots

Taking the red hats off of half a dozen gnomes and loading them carefully, tearfully, into a revolver.

runs away as fast as fuckign possible coughing and and hacking and wheezing and crying

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs