??!?

“And ever since I lost her, I felt that my life has been lived in only two days, if that makes any sense. You know, there's the today, where she is not here, and then the vast and endless yesterday where she was, even though it's been three years since. How many months and days? But I only see it in — with one demarcation. Two days — today without my mother, and yesterday, when she was alive. That's all I see. That's how I see my life now.”

The wonderful @elspagoot made an entire pdf of it which I have permission to share!

It’s kinda crazy to me that people are still thinking about this silly story I wrote between classes as a teenager. It makes me cringe too much nowadays to ever reread any of it but it makes me incredibly happy that there are a few people who got something good out of it.

1) IMPRESSION

What does one glimpse tell you?

No one looks happy in this spread. The man in the Nine of Wands is worried. The heart in the Three of Swords is hurt. The guy in the Seven of Swords is cautious. The royal in the Four of Pentacles is tense. The boy in the Four of Cups is bored. So whatever the question is, the answer is not good.

2) PROGRESSION

Read the cards from left to right.

You are currently grieving (Five of Cups). But with the help of a feminine figure (Queen of Cups), passion will enter your life once more (Ace of Wands), and you will have something to celebrate (Three of Cups). Your broken heart will not be so broken anymore (Three of Swords reversed).

3) ARCANA

Observe which arcana dominates.

Four out of five belong to the Major Arcana. One Major and one Minor combine to create negativity (The Tower + Nine of Swords). But the three other Majors have beautiful energy. Three trumps two. And more importantly, Major trumps Minor. So whatever sadness there is right now will be replaced with “major” joy.

4) SUITS

See which suit is present and which is not.

Wands and Pentacles share prominence with two each. A Cups card is there too. There are no Swords, which represent our thoughts. Thus, this situation has a lot of passion (Wands) and stability (Pentacles), as well as a bit of emotion (Cups). Even better, there is no anxiety and overthinking (Swords) involved.

5) COLORS

Use color psychology.

This spread is dominated by blacks and grays. Even though the Five of Swords says “Keep fighting” and the last two cards are positive (Four of Swords + Three of Pentacles = harmonious relationships), darkness (black) and dullness (gray) are surrounding this situation.

6) NUMBERS

Use numerology.

You have one zero, two Aces, and two Twos. Zero means a new start. This is reinforced by the Aces, which are equivalent to the number one – a symbol of beginnings. And number two represents partnerships. Therefore, a new partnership with a new person is predicted to come into your life.

7) SYMBOLS

Look at the symbols on the cards.

That is Apollo on his chariot (The Chariot), ruler of the Sun (The Sun), which in turn rules Leo, who is represented by Strength. Leo’s symbol, the lion, even appears in the last two cards – bottom right in the Wheel of Fortune, and on top in the Two of Cups. Obviously, a Leo will play a huge role in your life.

8) ASTROLOGY

Use the cards’ astrological associations.

The Emperor and the Queen of Wands both represent Aries. The Tower is Mars, ruler of Aries. The Hierophant and the King of Pentacles both represent Taurus. Therefore, this spread is speaking of a connection between an Aries and a Taurus, or just one person who is on the cusp of these signs.

9) DIRECTION

See where the cards are facing.

All the other cards are looking towards The Devil. The King of Cups, The World, The Hermit and The Fool are all observing him. So you are being warned about an abusive person or an oppressive situation. Or perhaps you are simply being told that your soulmate is a Capricorn, the sign associated with this card.

10) INTUITION

Listen to what your gut is telling you.

LILY-ROSE DEPP as ELLEN HUTTER