Everything

Killed this ant that came in the kitchen and the next day it came right back but it was holding a needle. Killed it again and it came back the next day wearing a cape and then I noticed I had a giant HP bar labeled KITCHEN BEHEMOTH and I was like man cmon dont call me that

Your undodgeable bug-spray move is making it really hard to memorize your attack patern

I swear to god the other day I saw it parry a single drop of insecticide. It still died but that single drop hit my finger and I'm worried it's getting better

Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five

Why in God's name would a vampire drink pepsi

Why would anyone drink Pepsi?

am I having a stroke????

you might want to go to the hospital then

I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

GD

when the,. when,, then the pu, the pus, when - when you- the

He’s perfect

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

is that a boner in your pocket or your penis is hard ?

is that a penis in your boner or is your pocket penis

Is that a pocket in your penis or is your hard boner?

Is that a penis in your penis or is your penis penis?

Is that bone hard or is your pocket

is that pocket hard or is your boner penis boner ??

Never quit never give-up!

Tumblr users will see a post mentioning a day if the week and just fucking black out and reblog it

Can’t believe I saw it on the day…

This gave me psychic damage