gayfeatherfan

Shen Qingqiu getting black out drunk and sobbing “HASTUNE MIKUUUU……!! I misss you hatsunae mikkkuuuuu” and Luo Binghe is seething in the background while trying to get water down SQQks throat like.. “who the fuck is Hatsune Miku. “

do you think Luo Binghe would do full Miku concerts for his Shizun? Just a full stage and there is only ONE dude.. but that begs the question of whether Shen Yuan would wear Miku merch or Binghe merch

I think Qijiu are representations of two VERY different reactions to childhood starvation/malnutrition, and this reflects in their values and how their trauma has shaped them. SJ is used to not having food, to the point that being satiated feels uncomfortable. He fears becoming reliant on it in case it’s taken away again, so he just refuses to let his body get used to food. YQY got out of that situation quicker, but its effects still stuck. After being starved so long, he comes to guiltily enjoy food, it’s almost masochistic, eating these beautiful meals all while thinking abt his poor xiao jiu who didn’t get to do that for far too long. He needs to become stronger, he needs to get his body in a state that not only will he survive starvation, but he won’t be helpless and weak for his loved ones. This also shows up in their trauma responses. SJ keeps himself in a near constant state of distress, he refuses almost every comfort available to him in fear of it being taken away. His body and mind are still stuck in the streets of his childhood. YQY seems like he’s recovered, like he’s moved past it. But his every move is a response to what he went through, it still seems into every decision he makes and every thought he has. Sure he takes “care” of himself, but it’s not for him, it’s for others. He needs to be well slept if he’s going to fight well and not let the burden fall to his martial siblings. He needs to indulge in wealth and dress well in order to not embarrass the sect. He needed the strongest sword to save his xiao jiu, he needs to be hated because otherwise he could harm his xiao jiu, and really he deserves it anyway so things are simply better this way. And the guilt, oooh the guilt, of living such a life KNOWING it was at the cost of his beloved, the guilt of letting SJ be corrupted so now YQY needs to protect his rotten shidi, it’s all so intoxicatingly painful, like pressing on a bruise.

"reblog if mutuals can dm you!" my mutuals could kidnap me and i'd be like yay! yayayay yippee woo yeah!!

do you ever go back into old diary and leave little notes? I’ve been doing it for years and the only thing I’m upset about is little me not putting dates- I wanna know the exact HOUR you got that girl’s number okay!!!