Garlic bread

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

Menthol cigarettes were invented by a man called Spud who was born in Mingo Junction

That fucking chair probably chocolate too

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

No source, but with your help, we can make this true.

I think Graham Chapman, the 4th man to join the scene, being gay and being a member of Monty Python is worth noting. He had a partner, David Sherlock, and was publicly open with his homosexuality as early as 1972. I just think it makes a difference in how Monty Python treated queerness in sketches when one of their members, their good friends and collaborators, is himself gay.