be gay eat clay

for me to be known is to be humiliated Lowkey

@markiplier i hope the fandom didn’t scare you with all those “Weird” posts that you might find or we already did it. We probably did it. Hands down we’re sorry.

As a kid, I was really upset that Bill Watterson wouldn't license Calvin & Hobbes so I could have plushies or so there would be a Saturday morning cartoon. Now, I realize his resistance is the reason we don't have a Calvin & Hobbes DreamWorks movie starring Chris Pratt.

Everybody say thank you to Our Lord of Artistic Integrity, Bill Watterson.

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

happy first day of pride everyone

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

devastating: artist who has not practiced fundamentals enough to execute high concept idea eats shit

I am pro-accredited aquariums and zoos. My posts critiquing the animal rights movement are blowing up right now and I just want to come out and say definitively that I appreciate zoos and aquariums allowing the public to view wild animals without potentially disturbing them in their natural habitat or resorting to the illegal exotic pet trade. It is valuable for conservation purposes and many aquariums/zoos take unreleasable wildlife and host breeding programs for endangered species. They are not just institutions for human amusement, they are integral to maintaining public interest and studying the ecology and biology of the animals contained within.

really i think the most insidious part of white supremacy is the way it will convince white people everything is actually About Them. being called out isn’t about you. poc expressing frustration at your behaviour isn’t about you. it’s about how you are affecting others. step one is literally just de-centre yourself from the conversation. anyone who’s not white has already had to learn this lesson the hard way and it gets tiring waiting for the rest of you to catch up

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of