Phonzy

when i was born a witch cursed me with a spell called youve got work tomorrow. and its irreversible

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

the ad copy says it can be used on camels. imagine someone with a camel who is struggling with camel behavior problems seeing this and thinking "hot damn, the solution to my camel misbehavior problems is CERTAINLY this dog exorcism potion"

Can you swap their heads ?

I don't care how bad life gets i'm not watching Love Island

"omgg there's NO platonic explanation for this, I can't imagine doing [typical and completely neutral act of human affection] with my friends!!" Skill issue

HE KILLED HIM

Biggest fuck-up ever is that people have to pay to become doctors

Like unironically we should be subsidising at least 50% of their educations. What do you mean we have a shortage of doctors we should have surplus. What do you mean they’re being overworked they should be treated like royalty, they can fix human bodies

I don’t care if some of them are only doing it for the money. I don’t care if all of them are only doing it for the money. Intentions don’t matter to the stitches in my nana’s leg or the ten billion other lifesaving treatments we all get at a detriment to their finances and mental wellbeing. Entire cities are kept alive by just a couple thousand of them what are we DOINGGGGG

If we had more, maybe it would be easier to get the shitty ones fucking replaced. The board isn't going to do much to the only endocrinologist in the state who takes Medicaid, you know? But if there were more than, idk, maybe 5? Maybe then?

More importantly if you needed less money and less physical stamina to become a doctor, people with less money and less physical stamina could become doctors, which would increase diversity and improve patient care.