Dear Future Girlfriend

Chicken nuggets so toasty they melted away all the snow!

Her arrows will blot out the sun!

Don’t worry, I’m here to save the day! I’d take my shirt off to go full Baywatch but it’s cold and my Ugly Xmas sweater is pretty sweet!

Adding a little give to the ol’ belt for the holiday cookie and treat season!

Is that a gingerbread brief case there, buddy?

Happy Halloween my friends and not-yet-girlfriends! Have a fun night!

Hopefully a long tradition of making our friends feel awkward, family too! Family pets as well, what the hell.

Cookie monster voice: All beware our curb appeal! Blegh!

Throwback updated: Dear Future Girlfriend: You’ll make sure I’m up for work on time, albeit with an accelerated heartbeat, during cool weather sleepy season.

To Hell with pants! TO HELL I SAY.

Call this one the “Bolton”. LADIES.

Bombshells blasting in air! Happy 4th of July! USA! USA! USA!

Hey, remember sunshine? LADIES?

Off to the dreaded water world! A-whahoo.

Ah, not needing the Tauntaun. Splendid.

Everyone get out this weekend? Other than gale force murder storm, it was pretty nice out.

Planning ahead for March Madness!

Getting weird with discount holiday chocolate, for love!