conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 64 (masterpost here)
Jason: *snicker* come on, it's fine. patrol's basically over, the kids are all back at the cave, the entire city is peaceful, you can take one sip.
Bruce, tired: for the fourth time, i don't drink on the job, Hood.
Jason: come onnnn~ we haven't had some adult-batfamily hang out time for ages. it's the only time i ever like you, you gotta partake.
Bruce: *grunt* i'm still Gotham's protector.
Jason: ok and you're also my legal adoptive father, so take the stick out of your ass and have a beer with me. come on- come onnnn, i got a spare flaaaaassskkk~
*a long beat of silence*
Jason: come on- that's it- open up, i'll tip it in, you just gotta swallow, there we go,
Dick, amused: you have got the be the only person on this planet that can peer-pressure Batman into drinking alcohol, Jay.
Bruce: -ok, no, take it away, i'm not falling for this.
Jason: DICK. I WAS SO CLOSE.
Dick: *wheeze* i'm sorry- i didn't mean to-!
Jason: YOU SUCK.
Dick: *cackle* just gimmie the other flask, don't waste it.
*faint sloshing*
Bruce, resigned: you shouldn't be doing this in your suits, if something were to happen...
Dick: B, buddy, we've been sneaking alcohol into our bat-water-bottles since Jason was first adopted. we know how to swing and drink.
Bruce: i still don't know how i never caught you,
Jason, mouth slightly full: 'oo were- *cough* you were a very self centred guardian back then, man. i could do anything, you weren't fuckin' looking.
Bruce: *sigh* yes, well, mistakes were made.
Jason: *laughs* you're good, we had fun.
Dick, wistful: man, we did have some fucking fun. i still remember- Jay, do you remember when you snuck out to that party and B found out you were gone in the middle of the night-?
Jason: OH- oh, the time that i came back at like three AM and he'd moved ALL THE FURNITURE?
Bruce: *light snort*
Dick: *wheeze* yeah-
Jason: fucking- i was gone for like four hours and you moved all the furniture in the front section of the house into the back ballroom so i got back and thought i was in a fucking fever dream, everywhere empty,
Dick: *high-pitched, giggling* and he- he told you that a bunch of people had broken in and stolen all of our stuff-!
Jason, mocking: 'well maybe if Robin had been around then he could have stopped the crime, but apparently he had better things to do tonight-', *cackle*
Bruce, clearly amused: ah, yes. how long did i hide our furniture for?
Jason: dude- like two weeks! you kept coming up with excuses as to why i shouldn't go further into the manor than usual- you slept on the fucking floor.
Bruce: listen- *chuckle* listen-
Jason: NO FUCK OFF YOU CAN'T DEFEND THAT! THAT WAS MEAN!
Dick: god- you know honestly, i think we were too stubborn back then to say it out loud, but shit B, you gave as good as we did- you were funny.
Bruce: i was childish and didn't understand how to be a parent, Dick. i was bitter, and i was taking it out on the people i was supposed to lead.
Dick: yeah yeah- i'm not saying you didn't have failings within your moral responsibilities, we all did; but looking back, you did not get enough credit for the shit you used to pull.
Jason: i will admit i laughed hard at some of the shit he did. to this fucking day, one of my favourite memories from the first year after i got adopted was that weekend you came back to the manor for a big case bust, and halfway through patrol you got into that huge argument and swung back to Bludhaven so you left all your shit at the manor, and B- *wheeze* and B,
Dick: we got into so many arguments, Jace. you need to clarify-
Bruce: he uh, *audibly holding back laughter* i think he's talking about the time you left your car here, so i- *snort*...i sold it.
Dick: ...oh my god- I REMEMBER THAT!
Jason: *still wheezing*
Dick: MY FUCKING BENTLY, THAT SHIT WAS A CLASSIC.
Bruce, unapologetic: i know, ...and i gave it to one of the gardeners at Drake Manor for fifty dollars and a pepsi.
Jason: *crying* oh my- hold me,
Bruce: you're gonna- Jaylad, you're gonna fall off the roof, come here- *snickering*
Dick: i- B i was so mad back then, you have no idea. like it- *laugh* i did not find it funny. i had no respect for the comedic genius of your moves.
Bruce: yeah, well, we've all grown since then. that was the point, wasn't it? being better for the kids?
Jason: it would be funny if you sold Tim's car though,
Bruce, admonishing: Jason,
Jason: *cackle*
