Little Violone

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

clown gets home after a long day. tired, sweaty. peels off their colorful overalls on the way to the bathroom. gets in the shower and turns the knob. burst of confetti & ribbons from the showerhead. clown sighs. dries off with a long chain of hankies

she can barely get the door open before her 4 balloon dogs are squeaking in a pile in the foyer

she turns the knob on the stove and a few soft honks are heard before the burner ignites

she tries the wrong burner and it's a joy buzzer

she finally finishes making a pie for dinner, sets herself a place, sits down at the table, says clown grace, pours a glass of wine, takes a sip, arranges her napkin, & smashes the pie into her own face

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you

Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out

@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices

the best fruits are hardest to open

this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

Hey! Mario was just wondering. Could you'a put a vending machine here? In the middle of this crowded intersection?

there should be more phoneme shifts happening… more rebracketings… there's still time for the english language to evolve… i hope to see the advent of "I wrote a nardicle" in my lifetime

"Wow, you're really good at this, you should do this professionally" okay but have you considered that I don't want to because that would suck all the fun out of this thing that I do for fun and entertainment and it's actually a conscious choice to not do this professionally because that would destroy the very reason I do this to begin with

"You should monetize this hobby" You should go outside and leave me alone

my trusty old mouse finally died and i don't think i like this new mouse as much. :(