No One Has Ever Thought That Before!

CHOMP!!!!!!

This is the best, most on-brand way for roller skates to be introduced to the world.

“One of his ingenious novelties was a pair of skaites contrived to run on wheels. Supplied with these and a violin, he mixed in the motley group of one of Mrs Cowley’s masquerades at Carlisle House; when not having provided the means of retarding his velocity, or commanding its direction, he impelled himself against a mirror of more than five hundred pounds value, dashed it to atoms, broke his instrument to pieces and wounded himself most severely”

the internet tells me that five hundred pounds in 1760 is the equivalent of over a hundred thousand dollars today, nice work.

when a couth mutual sees your uncouth post..

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

on it boss

trapped in the catacombs boss

eww dude keep your skinny fetish to yourself

The difference is that a fetish is bound to the floor while a kink is suspended from the ceiling