None of this would’ve been an issue if I just killed myself at 16

"everything will be alright" yeah maybe after I die

I’d be more lovable dead

its so hard to believe someone could love me. im always always too much or too little. never enough.

i’m not getting better anyways so why not get worse

i want to cut everyone off but i know that no one will even notice my absence

I'm sorry if I'm difficult to deal with. I don't know how to deal with myself either.

i hate myself a little extra when i open up to someone.

do you guys also ruin every good thing in your life or is that just me

They should invent a new kind of Being Alive where it's not painful and it doesn't hurt constantly and actually feels worth it and you're happy for more than a few hours at a time

good god i just want to be enough

the feeling when you just wanna be alone and push everyone away so you could quietly kill yourself vrs the feeling of never wanting to be alone and just wanting to be held and told itll be okay even when it wont.

this is not living this is just surviving and i’m tired of working to be alive