Create Your Own Sunshine

Dumbledore:

Harry:

Ron:

Hermione:

Luna:

Snape:

McGonagall:

Lockhart:

The ministry of magic:

Voldemort:

Me: My pills make me not want to die tho

They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal

Salesperson: Can I see some ID?

Jake: Yes, of course of course. *digs in pocket* Would you look at that. I forgot my license. BUT, I do happen to have this big ol’ wad..

Salesperson: No problem.

Jake: *thrown off guard* Hmm?

Salesperson: I don’t need your ID. Federal database is down anyway. Wink wink.

Jake: ..oh

Salesperson: So how do you like your amo, by the box or by the bucket?

Jake, under his breath: coolcoolcoolcoolcool our country is broken

Annnd this is probably JUST how easily kids get guns, if they don’t already have them in their homes. This is just how easily school shootings happen.

Instead of said, consider:

For normal responses:

stated

spoke

remarked

reported

For question responses:

added

asked

required 

requested

begged

For answered responses:

answered

replied

retorted

explained

acknowledged

responded

For happy responses:

rejoiced

laughed

giggled

sang

cheered

smirked

marvelled 

smirked

chimed

For loud responses:

shouted

belted

yelled

shrieked 

screamed

boomed

exclaimed

called

For quiet responses:

murmered

mumbled

muttered

breathed

sighed

hissed

mouthed

uttered

intoned

susurrated

purred

gasped

hinted

spoke softly

spoke in a hushed tone

insinuated

For worried/nervous responses: 

quaked

trembled

stammered

stuttered

gulped

For angry responses:

demanded

hissed

fumed

thundered

snapped

sneered

barked

ranted

grunted

roared

bellowed

For bossy responses:

commanded

ordered

dictated

insisted

For crying responses:

cried

sobbed

groaned

bawled

whined

For silent responses:

thought

pondered

forty: hey old sport would u fuck me?? you'd definitely fuck me hahaha

forty: when u fuck delilah think of me!!

you writers: doesn't make forty canonically bi when its RIGHT THERE