Y'know, I thought it'd be easier

some people masturbate for pleasure. others out of boredom. me? i masturbate to save all of california from a devastating earthquake

He fought in WWI after being inspired to join the military by the ghosts of WWII vets. He goes to school in the 50's, graduates and enlists in 2020, leaves for seven years to fight in a war that only lasted four and ended in 1918, and when he comes back it's 2021. Characters will use rotary phones to call numbers they looked up on their macbooks.

that reply made me feel like I ate too much edibles

we will track you down no matter what the cost

i was born inside an airpod case 3 minutes ago your honor and i love abortion

this is the most unhelpful post ever

do i look like a fucking faq to you

wholesome

“i’m a fool in a man’s shoes” is the most powerful thing i have ever read

actually extremely upset that they released a trailer for avatar 2. I’ve been chuckling over the ‘any day now’ post for years now I’m not ready to lose that

poggers

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

new phobia just dropped

Guys, crocodiles and alligators are lizards. Large ones, but still lizards

they’re actually more closely related to birds than lizards :)