oh fuck off

they injected me with mental illness when i was a baby because they didn't like that i radiated moonlight and had stars inside my eyes. they were jealous of me.

my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.

Your monkeys ?

those aren’t mine.

Going no contact with yourself

don’t listen to what anyone says the elephant really ties the room together

the inevitable noel gallagher performance art of new music with lyrics like "my love i have finally found you again and we will now sail away together into the heavenly seas of eternal starlight" and he's gonna be like yeah i don't remember writing that and it means nothing

things have got so bad i've resorted to britpop

I WISH THINGS HAD TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY!!!!!!!!! goes to the supermarket

Stop saying "you convinced me" start saying "that really mulders my scully"

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies