Quixotic

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks putting caramel on onions is caramelizing them

Not wanting to fuck a clone of yourself is just a sign of low self esteem. It’s pathetic.

Bus drivers who see you running and open their hole are better public servants than any cop.

their what now?

if i was a frog and you were a frog would you let me be a guest on your lily pad yes or no

living in the suburbs is like mall. Movies. Mall again. Go to target. Go to gamestop. Back to the mall. Barnes and noble. Back to the mall. Chili’s. Back to the mall. Eat hot chip. Lie. And I’m SICK of it!!!!!

Someone on Twitter pointed out that apart from all the different elements, this is a master class in story telling and comedic timing.