being a saint is exhausting

ok. enough suffering now. i am seeking out delight

am I unforgivable or is it just thursday

Unfortunately you will talk like a tumblr user for your entire life. Sorry.

Unfortunately your kids might also talk like Tumblr users. My daughter said "Get cherished, idiot" to her cat yesterday.

i ❤ fact checking bold unsourced claims

mutual in laws who have blocked me... you'll make the sunday brunch so awkward and for what

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

i was meant to be a 500 year old tree

actually insane to me that tumblr is a place where you can be so good at being horny you make friends about it

you know what’s sexy? not setting off fireworks

she sent me a selfie and i fell down the stairs

honestly sometimes there's no better feeling than rereading a fic you've written and coming out of it going, "yeah that actually this DOES slap. exactly what i wanted to read. fucking nailed it."

I have every word ever blocked. I could be mutuals with axe murderers and I wouldn't know because I have "#axe murdering" in my blocked tags. it's so peaceful here (hears a noise behind me) (doesn't turn around)

you can honestly be having the worst day of your life, open tumblr and there's your long time mutual who has recently gotten really into toy story yaoi just posting away