One Last Game

rummaging for an earl grey teabag like its a cigarette

Where I come from, we don’t worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? I’m from Scranton. What i’m smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, I’m gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but I’m taking your stash of mids, they’re gonna say C’mon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* that’s right. that’s right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.

this post is scripture to me like this is a seminal text. to me

the stuffed animal situation is phenomenal these days. you can find any specific arthropod or deep sea fish or microbe etc. used to be back in olden times all you could get was bears and mutants

mug that says "worst sacrificial lamb ever"

many will attempt to "end" the hug after only five to ten seconds of holding you. crucially, this is where the claws come into play

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king

it doesnt make sense that a penis would get bigger if yoiu jerk it off youre literally compressing it. go crumple a can rn and tell me its bigger im not buying this narrative

Okay So .. This is What Casual Misandry Looks Like Everybody

im trying to go pro if anyone has any tips

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

avoidance as an OCD compulsion is tricky

remember: you DON’T have OCD if you’re never in situations that trigger it. that’s how it works. if you never put yourself in any situation ever you too can cure your OCD. there are no consequences to this. #TheThinnessOfMyLifeDisgustsMe