Random stuffs

‪omg, 100%. Can you imagine your conversations with your patron as a warlock though?

It was a dark day, smoked seeped into every corner of the burnt husk that used to be a town. We had not choice… we needed to kill this dragon, preferably before the war with Waterdeep got bloodier and…

« minitel song »

-oh uh HELLO IT’S ELTAB HERE HOW ARE YOU SWEETY? ‬

- … i can hear you grandpa, no, no need to shout.

-AH IS THIS THING EVEN WORKING? I CAN’T SEE YOU.

I CAN’T SEE HER BELZTH, I TOLD YOU, WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE SWITCHED TO THIS THING, YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG WITH A GOOD OLD ENTRAIL DIVINATION.

- grandpa, press the video button. The bright green one next to the phone symbol?

-ahhhh it works, it works. Hello !!!

- turn the other side of the camera, you just press… nevermind nevermind. Listen I’m really sorry I have a bit of a dragon situation at the moment and…

-ooooh dragon?! I bet your dad has not upgraded your Armor in a while sweety. Oh oh he can be so forgetful. Why don’t you help grandpa connect to The Google, and I’ll give you a little something for your eldrich blast? Delph doesn’t answer and I really need an oracle before the next bridge game with the lass. Don’t tell your dad though, he thinks I spoil you too much.

‪omg, 100%. Can you imagine your conversations with your patron as a warlock though?

It was a dark day, smoked seeped into every corner of the burnt husk that used to be a town. We had not choice… we needed to kill this dragon, preferably before the war with Waterdeep got bloodier and…

« minitel song »

-oh uh HELLO IT’S ELTAB HERE HOW ARE YOU SWEETY? ‬

- … i can hear you grandpa, no, no need to shout.

-AH IS THIS THING EVEN WORKING? I CAN’T SEE YOU.

I CAN’T SEE HER BELZTH, I TOLD YOU, WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE SWITCHED TO THIS THING, YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG WITH A GOOD OLD ENTRAIL DIVINATION.

- grandpa, press the video button. The bright green one next to the phone symbol?

-ahhhh it works, it works. Hello !!!

- turn the other side of the camera, you just press… nevermind nevermind. Listen I’m really sorry I have a bit of a dragon situation at the moment and…

-ooooh dragon?! I bet your dad has not upgraded your Armor in a while sweety. Oh oh he can be so forgetful. Why don’t you help grandpa connect to The Google, and I’ll give you a little something for your eldrich blast? Delph doesn’t answer and I really need an oracle before the next bridge game with the lass. Don’t tell your dad though, he thinks I spoil you too much.

 BASICALLY: Grima!Robin is a total milf. On top of that (literally) the normal Grima body? Yeah, its a huge anthro dragon milf! Lucina is tied up, fucked, and corrupted, while a giant apocalypse milf dragon infects and destroys the world~ Its dark, goofy, kinky, and wild~ 

               When Lucina awoke, she could hear wind. Her vision was hazy, her whole body feeling strange. She became suddenly aware that she was naked and inside of a cage made of a deep dark metal. She started to panic and struggle against it, looking out wards from the cage to try and spot any sign of who it was that had here locked away. But then, the blue haired maiden spotted her.

               By all means the woman appeared to be Robin at first glances. The tactician who lead the Shepherds to their numerous victories in the field of war, the wife of Chrom, the mother to the time jumping hero Lucina. But those bright red eyes, like blood pooling on the floor, defied it all. The aura she emitted was intensive. Also she was very naked and sporting a pair of curved black horns, tiny demonic wings, and a huge draconic cock. She approached Lucina with a mirthful expression, the sort of curved and crooked grin only someone so self-assured in their victory could sport.

               “Hello, sweet heart~” Robin cooed, walking straight towards Lucina, her big dark cock wobbling to her steps. “Sorry mommy had to treat you a little roughly, but I had to make sure you didn’t get in the way. It’s all over now, though~ And you’re mine. Forever.”

One of them stays behind to pay the bill and the other three proceed to the first hole. While golfing, the three fathers start bragging about their sons.

The first father says, “I am very proud of my son Arthur; he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel and now he is at the top!  He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.”

The second fathers says, “My son Ivan is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third father says, “Well, well, well - congratulations! My son, Ludwig, is also my pride and joy and is also very rich. He became an engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He built a mansion especially for his best friend.”

Then the fourth father catches up and they ask him how his son is doing.

The fourth father replies, “Oh, my son Alfred is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends shake their heads and say, “What a shame, you must be so unhappy! How tragic.”

but she’s already dressed again, after peeling off the skin that would previously have been under that armor

the only logical conclusion here is that she wanted a picture of herself at her SHINIEST and PRETTIEST and hurried to get dressed once enough of her fresh and shiny new skin was uncovered

I bet her bestie took the picture and has been eagerly waiting with the magical fantasy camera for like, hours

edward: 

john:

Edward: I just wanna try one thing. Be very still…don’t move.

John as Bella: *flops to the ground and kicks upward to fight off attacker according to the infinite wisdom of Detective JJ Bittenbinder*

John as Bella: Nah, sister, you’re not getting me to no secondary location!

John:

John:

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

Taking 10€ thigh up sketches like these

All info >> http://fav.me/dcv1h3x

DM me for a slot

i found the video

i found the video

It’s your basic story, old woman sees trans woman in the bathroom, old woman calls to complain to Mcallister’s Deli, company says be a man or bust. Needless to say I busted like fine china.

But that leaves me with one part time job unless I can find another employer in my area willing to work with my current schedule.

My parents currently take half of almost every check and after my basic needs I’m left with almost nothing, and this is a problem when I’m working two jobs (now one) trying to move and actually start living my life

Please help me get out of this state, anything at all pushes me closer and closer to finally being free of this hellhole.

The Department of Justice has recently demanded that the Supreme Court make it legal for employers to discriminate transpeople (and they’ll probably expand it to apply to other institutions). Given the court’s new conservative majority thanks to the addition of Brett Kavanaugh, it’s likely to go through—which means MORE good people will find themselves without work or home

Also me: