the sun is as theoretical as clouds

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

Its good that i have a blog now cuz I used to write all this bullshit down physically in a diary and my mom found mine and read it when i was 15 and i got in so much trouble cuz i drew goku with a boner so foreboding frightening it cleaved his jorts clean in half down the crotch seam and she threw it in a dumpster but then i crawled inside and retrieved it in the dark of night to preserve the archives of my mind but I lost it the very next day cuz i dropped it into the wave pool at Wild Wild n Wet (waterpark). Nowadays relying on digital spaces we have no guarantee of our eras information being preserved for futture generations tho and as the lights go out The silence will be suffocating and we will all be boner goku at the bottom of the wave pool at Wild Wild and Wet lowkey so u might as well start an nsfw twitter with ur government name and credit card info in bio tbh

the amount of breathing room you gave my post in the speech bubble is fucking with me interior design feng shui style

i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974

the first thing u need to understand about athletes is that they are cringe losers bc they skipped school in hopes of never having to work a real job. the second thing you need to understand abt athletes is that they are first and foremost workers whose years of lucrative labour are capped by the very real limit that the strain of that selfsame work puts on their bodies which means they retire at an age before most people's careers even really take off and are expected to get by for the rest of their lives on the money they earned those few years. the third thing you need to understand is that they want to fuck their coworker.

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.

to me the thing about deification is that something fundamental is lost in the process

people can’t be immortal. so in order to be immortal you can’t be a person anymore. you have to be distilled. stripped of everything. till you come out the other side as an abstract concept.

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry