Untitled

Evening Dress

c. 1900

Pale green silk chiffon and velvet; S-curve silhouette; appliqué of plant pattern; sequin and cord embroidery with water's-edge pattern.

by House of Worth

Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.

Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.

Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.

I'll say it again:

Rumination is a compulsion.

Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.

I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.

And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.

Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.

Like this was genuinely life changing for me.

Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:

Defining Rumination

How to Stop Ruminating

ERP Exercises for Compulsive Rumination

The company I bought the unit from--and which I supposedly have an extended warranty with that they're refusing to cover, but that's another matter--quoted me 4-6 weeks to come look at the machine for a diagnostic, then warned me there was another 6-8 week wait for parts.

They also quoted me several hundred dollars for the estimated parts, which they were going to order pre-inspection (????), and told me it'd be $400 for some rubber tubing, which was the likely culprit. And then another $900 for labor, not including the diagnostic testing.

Well, thanks to the very kind people who donated, I was able to call another company that came out the next day, told me the problem wasn't with any tubing at all, but the water sensor at the base of the machine was busted, and then quoted me $700 to replace it. Bracing for the worst, I asked about the timeline for parts and how much everything would cost in total, including labor.

Yeah, turns out that $700 included parts, labor, and diagnostic testing.

Oh, and ordering the official licensed parts took a week.

I told him the other place told me it'd be almost two months to order parts, and he asked who the company was, rolled his eyes, and said, "Yeah, they've been doing that. They're trying to get you to just buy a whole new machine."

❤️ battle box

Well maybe I don’t WANT to work double as hard as abled people!! Maybe I deserve a BREAK!! Maybe I’ve been working MORE THAN double as hard for MY WHOLE LIFE and it’s led me to immense burnout & caused me to develop several MORE disabilities!! Maybe I should be ACCOMMODATED so I don’t have to KILL MY BODY AND BRAIN over trying to do what abled people can do!! Maybe I DON’T have to work double as hard!! Maybe if there’s the option to let me NOT work double as hard, I should have it, because I’m already working double as hard JUST TO SURVIVE!!