A mess

alan alda: hawkeye wake up. i get to write an episode.. you know what that means. its time for me to put you in the torture chamber again

When I watched this I feel like it really exposed so much of how barren rich people are of culture. Like the only restaurants he finds that aren’t franchises are the ones in back alleys sprung up by the enslaved captive migrants. The rich have no incentive really to create anything. They just transplant a cheese cake factory from overseas to make money off of it and move on. This place just shouldn’t exist

i feel like the people aren’t crazy enough about bill woodward. he’s the most boring man alive. he’s divorced. he loves mamma mia. he doesn’t like his daughter’s stoner girlfriend. he’s gonna kick ted’s head. he drinks a shirley temple during the end of the world in case they need a designated driver. he spent like 100 dollars trying to win a carnival game so he can get a lame ass stuffed animal for his teenage daughter because she’s mad he dropped her phone. he loves his daughter so much he also has no idea how anything works. he’s paul’s best friend. he’s a little bit of a bitch sometimes. he gets a caramel frappe every day. he has genuinely one of the most gut-wrenching deaths in the entire starkid universe. he’s played by corey dorris what more do you people want.

Nerdy Prudes opening: I'm dead I'm bleeding out in the bathroom I was brutally murdereeed highschool sucks Black Friday opening: BUY BUY BUY SPEND SPEND SPEND UGLY GREEN BASTARD GO! TGWDLM opening: We all HATE this fucking guy come and see why

We need more women characters who are Male Protagonists. You know. Slightly haggard. She's splashing cold water on her face and gripping the edge of the sink staring in the mirror for a minute. She's coping badly with her deadwife

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

blorbo sickfic that turns into a possession fic halfway through

what does this meannnn

pokey in max's body flexing n saying "this ones got muscles! :D" might be my favourite thing from the remount

[completely misunderstood the story] I always interpreted it as a sort of found family narrative myself. Like the frog is the scorpion's baby and she loves him very much :)

What the fuck is vampire smp.

You know the really crazy part of Hey Melissa being so divisive is that sometimes we forget it was read On A Livestream where Jon is sitting right next to Nick holding a bluetooth speaker and Jeff's mic is being weird half the time. I know it's been canonised and I love that but it is funny remembering the circumstances in which it was read.

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

thanks for ruining my post jackass

(￣^￣ﾒ)＼✿ "Fine, I'ma keep ya damn flower.“  

*flies past*

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat