my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.
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i love love LOVE rockdrian testing the limits of loving someone to the point of invention every day. theyre figuring out how to make it rain in that biodome bc grace mentioned offhandedly one day that he missed the way it felt. grace's glasses break and theyre figuring out how eyesight works and creating the best glasses ever despite having no concept of light. rockdrian tag teaming the xenonite suits to be thinner than previously thought possible so grace can hug them and it feel like a ‘real’ hug. grace having to be careful about what he misses/wants bc rockdrian WILL figure out a way to do it (threat. statement.) and rockdrian working tirelessly to make sure grace feels loved and welcomed and safe bc nothing is ever enough. they want to give him more. they want to make sure he never wants for anything bc he’s theirs and grace is overwhelmed but like in the best way
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And because SY is an unreliable narrator, this Huan Hua au but SJ's POV.
"I'm sorry, the Grandmaster is away on another business. As per regulations, this matter does not need his attention, so head over to Head Curator Wang in the artifacts treasury to register your request."
SJ smiled a warm, gentle smile as he sent the sect member on his way until the man was out of sight, then immediately scowled.
Another pest trying to pester the Grandmaster! Even though Shizun clearly did "delegation" in order to reduce the amount of work the sect's leader had to do, as well as streamlining sect matters and instilling responsibility in all sect members.
Despite the fact that Grandmaster wanted to take things easy and be left alone, there are always going to be people trying meet with Shizun... and it's not like SJ didn't know why.
Heading into the back courtyard, SJ found Shizun tending the garden as usual. He wasn't sure what Shizun enjoyed about gardening all the time but ... side-eyeing the extremely rare plants Shizun had somehow managed to cultivate despite their historic impossible-to-cultivate reputation, he could only sigh.
As long as Shizun was having fun...
Rounding the all-seeing creeper vines and frost honey sky lotus, SJ finally caught sight of his Shizun, the Sect Master Grandmaster of Huan Hua Palace. (Shizun kept wanting to step back from the position and joked he was more like the sect's grandfather, not the sect leader, but please. With Shizun's leadership, who would accept his retirement any time soon? They just started calling him Grandmaster instead. Anyway, it was better than the "Palace Master" Shizun's failure of a disciple wanted to be called.)
Despite his age, Shen Shizun was still tall and graceful. He might have a mature face, but it was still smooth and elastic unlike many ancestor cultivators decades younger than him.
The beard was trimmed short, unlike the long beards like all the other cultivators his age, and it was neat and tidy, unlike all the greasy and unkempt rogues and bastards SJ had seen in his time on the streets.
That beard and the long white hair half pulled back in a topknot combined with Shizun's broad shoulders and narrow waist had seduced far too many people. SJ couldn't help glaring at his shizun.
Did he know how many people he had to chase away daily?! No! Of course his shizun didn't, he NEVER notices their advances!
Even though the man was the smartest, craftiest person alive, Grandmaster Shen couldn't tell someone was interested in him even if they bluntly told him! And many people had!
Either Shizun wanted to be an ascetic, or no one had caught his eye. Didn't matter - SJ would chase them off until his shizun indicated differently.
After everything he'd done for Huan pHua, Shizun deserved to not be bothered by unwanted advances!
Shizun revealed all the conspiracies, punished all evil-minded sect members, and redid the entire sect's authority system to prevent the terrible things from happening again.
Normally SJ would scoff at the naivety of believing one could set up a sect to avoid corruption, but seeing how Shizun did it by utilizing people's natural suspicion and eagerness to point fingers while mitigating the overeager by clearly defining the rules and punishments for false accusations ... SJ knew Shen Shizun wasn't someone who didn't understand reality and the darkness within people.
After all, Shizun never pretended that material wealth wasn't important like some other sects that liked to act like they were above material needs.
When SJ asked his shizun about it, Shen Shizun just chuckled.
"Whether it's money, resources, or power, they are all things that can be used. Some sects like to scoff at us and call us moneygrubbers, but how many times do they come asking to borrow money when they come against a problem they can't just fight? And in the first place, can we truly be a righteous sect if every solution is to subdue the opponent? Would we not just be tyrants?"
"Isn't that what it means to be the strongest?"
Shizun chuckled again. "Is "the strongest" truly the best thing? Let me tell you, Xiao Jiu, the only constant in life is human dissatisfaction, and all jealous eyes will target anyone who act oppressively. It's far better to pretend to be mediocre and let everyone think you're doing them favors. Besides, they're so righteous, they wouldn't let you do them favors without having to pay you back."
That sly smile and glint in his shizun's eyes... Although Grandmaster Shen was widely known as a wise and benevolent leader, SJ was fully aware that his shizun secretly devious and crafty. And SJ fully approved of it.
It was strange. Supposedly the Grandmaster had been cowardly and overly suspicious for many years before that sad excuse of a failure took over, but his personality now was nothing at all like the Sect Master in the memories of the elders.
The most common theory was that Grandmaster had been pretending to be useless in order to catch his head disciple and make an example of him... but that didn't feel right to SJ.
With everything he knew about the Grandmaster, SJ knew that Shen Shizun was good at reading people (except in romance) and swift and decisive in nipping trouble in the bud.
Not only would Shizun have put a swift end to the man's ambitions, he wouldn't have accepted that failure as head disciple in the first place!
In SJ's opinion, that poisoning did something to Shen Shizun. Either Shen Shizun had been slowly poisoned the entire time, leading to his strange personality, or that was truly Shen Shizun's previous personality. Either way, the final poisoning most likely caused Shen Shizun to undergo a breakthrough in both mentality and cultivation.
How else can you explain the massive power increase and completely different temperament otherwise?
Either way, SJ appreciated the change, even if he hated how it happened.
It's just, with all Shizun's breakthroughs (at his age!), his appearance grew sturdier and more vibrant while his firm and dependable temperament deepened and became even more attractive, drawing all sorts of bees and butterflies wanting to be the old man's cultivation partner!
Unaware of SJ's thoughts, SY just cheerfully waved and said, "Xiao Jiu. Is there something the matter?"
Facing Shen Shizun's warm smile, SJ deflated.
Forget it... as long as Shizun's happy.
"Hm? Is that Shen Jiu? Let this old man see how you're doing~"
... This was another thing SJ didn't understand. Shizun's weird friend, who came to talk about vulgar books and bicker about pointless things and took him out on stupid "adventures" that always went strange, so different from how Shizun normally was... but maybe that's the point.
Maybe Shizun never wanted to be so serious and have to overhaul the sect. Maybe he just wanted the freedom to tend his garden, chat over tea with some foolish friends, and travel around without any responsibilities.
SJ resolved to hurry in his studies and growth in order to take over Huan Hua soon, in order to let his shizun retire sooner.
On his deathbed in his old age, SY transmigrates into a cultivator whose last wish was to get revenge on the $7;&!# who poisoned him!
SY: ... Okay.
Honestly, he had been perfectly content with peacefully going out after living a fulfilling life (although he never got rid of his status as Shen Patriarch thanks to his useless brothers who refused to get involved in the family business), but a second chance at life is good too... Wait, this is PIDW?!
... He takes it back.
After recovering (and learning how to use) his cultivation (for the first time), SY finally leaves the cave by blasting open the saboteur's cave-in job and strolls out to see where he was and what the situation really was. (He didn't trust the manic dying man fully.)
"S-sect Master?!? You didn't ascend?!"
Hm... so he's a the leader of a sect. It will make things difficult to investigate incognito.
SY put a finger to his lips and winked at the disciple who found him.
"There's a reason, so keep it secret for me," he whispered, startling the disciple even further. Perhaps this was all a hallucination...
Leaving the disciple who was questioning life behind him, SY trimmed his beard short and used a disguise technique to change his hair and beard from white to black before continuing on his way.
After a thorough investigation, SY is thoroughly disgusted with what he found. The whole sect was riddled with corruption, and his own damn head disciple, now the "sect master," was the worst of the bunch.
His many years as the Shen CEO had honed his abilities at reading people, and his former head disciple had the scummiest look to him... honestly, how did the former owner of this body not see the hostile takeover assassination attempt coming?
Gathering together some of the most virtuous elders, SY revealed the current "sect master's" ugly deeds, including (but not limited to) SY's "own" assassination, bribing witnesses and forging evidence to falsely incarcerate prisoners, illegal acquisitions of treasures and secret manuals that often included manufacturing "accidents" for the original owners, and lusting after his head disciple.
SY could only sigh and shake his head.
"If you had openly requested the right to pursue her and had mutual affections, this would not be a count against you," SY said. He had allowed many a department romance despite the board's concerns back in the day. "However, to abuse your position and power over her to take advantage and manipulate her... this is not love but greed!"
With all the evil deeds aired out for the world to see, SY personally reached out and broke his former head disciple's cultivation.
What, just imprison or exile this bastard? No way. This wasn't a man who would take his punishment quietly.
SY was a retired old man! Why leave a thorn in his side? Just to have drama in the future?
Besides, there was going to be a lot of reformation work needed to scrub the "muck" out of Huan Hua!
Part of SY wondered if this would be a problem in the future. After all, Luo Binghe would take over this sect... what if part of his journey was to eradicate the corruption in Huan Hua?
... Oh well. Now that SY knew how terrible this sect was, he couldn't pretend not see it and leave this liability and disaster waiting to happen. LBH can just take over a "clean" sect. It'll save him some time.
With terrifying efficiency from his decades as the Shen Corporation's CEO, SY purged and restructured Huan Hua.
Yeah, some of the mess was the fault of the original owner of this body, but SY just blamed everything on the former "sect master" acting without permission. Anyway, he didn't do it.
Everyone had audits and multiple checks and balances to insure there wouldn't be as much power abuse and embezzlement. Everyone had to pull their weight, and ill-gotten goods were confiscated and the victims compensated.
What did a cultivation sect want with all this mortal money and goods anyway?! And what was with the slves?! They're a cultivation sect, where social classes didn't matter once you took the oath for "departing" from the mortal world!
The world's setting was unfortunate enough to include slvery, and it would be difficult to correct since cultivators shouldn't meddle in mortal affairs, but their sect didn't have to participate! Hell, it was only the now crippled former sect master the slvers dealt with, so wtf?! And what was he doing with them?! Lord knows there aren't any in the sect... so what was he doing with them?! SY decided to investigate himself.
Looks like the former sect master was just a middleman for some nobles ... the details were disgusting enough that SY blinded the slver ringleader out of spite. (Ostensibly for "corrupting" his former head disciple, but let's be real, the guy was so bad he didn't need help.)
On his way back to the sect, SY spots some asshole nobles running wild on horseback through the streets, nearly killing people, before a few street urchins got entangled.
One of them threw qi... SY narrowed his eyes.
After learning what he learned at the slvers about some nobles' preferences... He saw the noble lock on to the boy.
... Nope.
SY never had children himself - no one was romantically interested in him to begin with (author's note: haha.) - but his siblings had kids and he had lots of fun being the cool uncle. He was going to stab a bitch if that noble got his hands on that kid.
Shrinking a thousand leagues into one step, SY suddenly appeared in front of the boy, preventing the noble's guards from touching him.
Although he ignored the nobles' side, looking solely at the boy, SY allowed his aura to expand, stifling and cowing the noble and his guards to silence.
Even the ill-tempered horse stood silently and shivered in his presence.
"Let me see your hand," SY said gently and took the boy's hand to poke and prod at his meridians.
"Grandmaster!" SY's entourage quickly caught up with him, causing the noble and his guards to be even more alarmed.
SY just smiled warmly at them.
"Look," he said. "I found a good seedling."
"Grandmaster..." SY's assistant sighed. "Alright, let's take him in."
"W-wait!"
SY wanted to click his tongue. SOME people just don't have any survival instincts.
The noble behind them reached out. "That is ..."
SY's assistant did click her tongue and demanded, "Who are you to question the Grandmaster of Husn Hua?! You are not this boy's guardian or master, what right do you have to prevent our Grandmaster from taking him as a disciple?!"
The noble went pale and nearly fainted.
"Now now," SY chuckled. "He did see the boy first, I suppose. But I wager that our sect will cultivate this little seedling better than a noble's house would, so please excuse my impropriety in taking him away. Unless ... you had... other plans?"
The noble quaked under the increased pressure Huan Hua's Grandmaster exerted. He was sure the Grandmaster knew his evil thoughts... but then the Grandmaster withdrew the pressure and smiled pleasantly.
"Fret not, I will not let you go empty handed. Thank you for finding this good seedling for me."
! A cultivator tool for almost nothing! Who cares about some brat?! The noble party departed with great joy despite their former fear.
SY's assistant frowned disapprovingly.
"Grandmaster," she complained, "after what we learned, we know he had no good intentions. Why would you reward him?!"
A sly, fox-like smile flitted across the Grandmaster's face.
"The tool isn't worth much, nor is it something he could use to overthrow the Emperor with. But tell me. What do you think is more dangerous, owning a powerful tool or not being strong enough to own a powerful tool?“
The assistant gaped. "You mean..."
"The ambition in those eyes is hard to hide, and a household that raised him to have such a temperament can only have a mire of enemies just waiting to drag them down. Whether they overestimate themselves and use it to attack others or others attack them to obtain it..." the Grandmaster trailed off before he chuckled. "Well, when you hear of their destruction, go get it back. We only permitted the Qius to have it, after all."
SJ stared at this bearded, white-haired man, eyes wide.
He had never respected an adult more in his life.
"Now then, let's get going and learn about this new little disciple on the way..." the Grandmaster said.
SJ snapped out of his confused daze. "W-wait-! Um... can ... can Qi-ge come too...?"
SY paused, noticing the other boy who had gotten hurt in the earlier scuffle
Ignoring his assistant's eyeroll, SY tsked tsked and picked the poor boy up, inspecting the scrapes and bruises.
SY suddenly paused and looked at his assistant. "Don't tell me I'm picking up every stray cat and dog. You take a look at his meridians too."
This other boy hadn't had his qi awakening yet, but his meridians were prime cultivation material!
The assistant gaped, then looked at one boy and then the next.
"When did cultivation monsters become as easy to pick up as cabbages on the side of the road?!" she squawked
Under SY, Huan Hua became a powerhouse among powerhouses. They were virtuous, upheld justice, and minded their impact on their surroundings. Their reputation soared with leaps and bounds.
SY's only regret was that his former head disciple's head disciple chose to withdraw from the sect.
Dammit! He had been preparing her to take over so he could retire!!! This is his brothers and the CEO position all over again!!!!
"... Why?" SY asked, preparing himself to rebut anything she said.
"... I wish to marry a demon."
... Okay, he didn't have an answer for that.
Fine, fine, have fun... at least Shen Jiu was shaping up to be promising. We'll just have to pass over SXY...
Before SXY left, she paused. "You... don't actually have any objections?"
SY could only sigh. "What good would they do? Demons who aren't automatically hostile are already so rare anyway. Just remember you have a home to come back to if you need it."
---
Long story short, when XF transmigrates over after dying of his old age, he finds that Cang Qiong has been usurped as the number one sect by Huan Hua, the OPM and LPM don't exist, Shen Jiu is Huan Hua's sect master with Yue Qi as Huan Hua's head enforcer, SXY is Empress Xi Yan of the demon realm (to disguise herself and avoid troubling Huan Hua), and LBH doesn't exist as LBH.
Oh, and his favorite hater-turned patron-turned good buddy, whose death he mourned for several years before his own, is happily tending the vegetable garden rare herbs and plants in Huan Hua's back courtyard just like he had in retirement in the modern world. After royally screwing up every inch of the plot!!!
A few more thoughts on SY accidentally making Qing Jing Peak (Links for posts here and here)
SY having a no evil sword rule so Bingge leaving Xin Mo outside barrier whenever he goes to visit SY. Probably good thing because angry evil sword would not be happy with all the pranks and attacks he keeps having done by all the disciples.
They will do everything possibly to keep this playboy demon lord away from their dad/shiziun. They will psychically launch themselves at him to try and hold him back.
Bingge can't fight them or anything, he's just desperately trying to get to SY with all these kids hanging off him trying to hold him back and yelling for Mobei Jun who is off staring at and trying to woo SQH reborn who is terrified and trying to hide.
SY comes back and is like 'Oh wow Bingge is playing with my disciples'
MQF is watching sipping tea he was asked to watch disciples while SY is busy so he is... watching them enact some karma. He's watching the demon lord whose wooed hundreds of woman keep being utterly rejected unknowingly by SY who will praise Bingge and knows all about him... but who misses all the very obvious wooing and proposals... Bingge is losing his mind and MQF is just watching very content.
Baby reborn Wei Qingwei keeps trying to sneak out to see Xin Mo whenever Bingge is here SY keeps talking about cursed swords but WQW is like 'I CAN FIX IT'
One time LMY shows up because their husband has been gone for months and no one is running anything and then sees baby LQG and just stun locks.
LMY managed to drag NYY after she gets out of stun lock to confirm she isn’t going crazy. Then NYY sees a tiny version of her shizun protecting someone from Bingge and a part of her heart just breaks. In an instant NYY has a hold on Bingge and dragging him back to the palace because she can’t bare to see her shizun tortured to death twice in this lifetime.
NYY is ready for full coup on Bingge until he gets a word in
Bingge: 'I'm not tying to kill him! I'm trying to marry his Dad!'
NYY/LMY:...what?
It's a long story and eventually NYY, LMY and SHL go to meet SY and the others.
All the kids instantly approve, Bingge is sieving.
NYY is hugging SJ and nearly crying. She starts visiting and spoiling him. Same with LMY and LQG he ends up calling her big sister... she breaks down a bit.
SHL loves all these brats, they're feral and all monsters. They are so fun to play with... also the wives watch them terrorize Bingge and love it. SHL laughed so hard she couldn't breath. She starts joining in.
The 3 of them also adore SY, and realize how far gone Bingge is on him.... they are using it to their advantage and teasing Bingge so much.
They're also SY favorite wives so he will praise and gush over them not as much as Bingge, it's not even close but far more than Bingge likes. He's sulking.
Also they find out about all the kids pasts how bad things have been since realms merged and all descend on Bingge. Fix your empire! We will not let you even get close to marrying A-Yuan until you fix your entire empire!
Wives just sitting there with MQF watching Bingge and SY
Having more thoughts about SY recreating Qing Jing peak in PIDW (Link) and what if number of kids adopted disciples are the peak lords reborn.
Feral little SJ who SY recused and is now super protective him, following him around like a duckling because 'Shizun has no self preservation instincts and is to nice'. A mini LQG who wants to fight and also mus protect SY, and then YQY who just wants to keep SJ safe.
All of them adore SY and when Bingge shows up all of them seeing how Bingge looks at SY and NOPE not their Shizun! We know how big your harem is like hell we're letting you take our Shizun and make him one of your hundred wives FUCK OFF.
Bingge is being cock blocked by horde of overprotective ducklings... who all look uncannily familiar.
All of whom know how to utilize puppy dog eyes and can distract SY from his wooing.
Bonus: MQF survived finds his way back wanders into Qing Jing peak that is not in ruins??? sees SY and reborn sect siblings and just like ... you know what life is weird enough this may as way happen and moves in as medic.
Moshang Bonus: SQH who was reborn as SQH is reborn and SY finds him SQH is not happy 'Goddamn you shitty system you got me killed and now I have to live again as an NPC! where is my refund I do not want to go through puberty a THIRD TIME'
Then meets cucumber bro while older and see's Qing Jing peak and just internally screaming
SQH 'BRO DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE???'
SY 'Yes i've made a safe home for all these children who faced the consequences of YOUR HACK WRITING!'
SQH is the oldest there after SY so he's put in charge of the little 'monsters' whenever SY leaves... he hates it tyhey always try to run and follow SY, they've imprinted on him and he cannot keep them away from him.Also crying toddlers and kids whenever SY isn't there which airplane can't stop!
Not to mention every time his bro leaves he comes back with more kids! Bro you're worse than batman please stop!
Then one time MBJ comes along with Bingge on wooing mission (MBJ is meant to distract the children so that Bingge can talk to SY) only MBJ is moping because SQH accidentally died (SQH thinks MBJ killed him but it was an accident and MBJ has been in mourning for years)
MBJ sees SQH out of corner of eye and is gone he is there jsut staring at what he knows is his Qinghua! While SQH is screaming 'JHE'S GOING TO KILL ME AGAIN! oh no my king whose been taking care of you? Is he ok-forget that i'm going to dieeee AGAIN!!'
Whereas on other side of peak Bingge is frantically looking around at where his cockblocker blocker has gone to.
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Another Binggeyuan AU where SY accidentally recreates Qing Jing peak.
SY transmigrates as random NPC and becomes wandering cultivator while traveling he keeps finding kids all orphans or abandoned, both demon and human. The chaos of realms being merged caused a lot of fall out and made places way more dangerous.
Of course SY can't leave this kids alone and he can't travel with so many so he decides to find place to set up a base, somewhere he can make safe for these kids and maybe even teach them how to protect themselves.
He finds a mountain that's clearly been long abandoned and a fight happened here because it seems it must have had a lot of fire damage. but there are still remnants of seals so he can reinforce them again and it's safe for his kids.
It takes time and qi forced healing (and system inference) but the mountain does seem to heal grass and a lot of bamboo grow back.
It's nice and peaceful now, he's found even more kids and all of hem are safe. They follow him around and have started calling him Shizun, they're also copying him by choosing green robes like the ones he wear. They're all so adorable.
Imagine Bingge's surprise when while trying to find a kind shziun he ends up on qing jing peak.... only this isn't another world? Why it is green? why is it full of happy disciples? Many of whom are dmeon or half dmeon??? Then he turns and sees someone who looks almost identical to SQQ there.
Apparently he didn't need to go to countless worlds to find kind Shizun he could have just the checked the peak.
Alternatively SY finds a lost/abandoned child who he very quickly realizes is one of Binghe's. (Apparently harem member decided to pull a Linguang Jun and drop poor thing in the middle of hostile territory.
Of course SY saves poor little sheep he waits for someone try and find the little one but turns out kid is apparently very neglected and has been targeted and hurt by harem infighting before. SY decides fuck it my kid now.
Bingge ends up finding out months later, among his Shizun searching that one of kids kids has been missing for months!
He end sup going to find him, cue seeing qing jing peak and a kind Shizun carrying little half heavenly demon around.
Fine, I’ll play in the space. Danny and I were talking about Torse misunderstanding human social customs anyway.
I brought up Torse calling Maxwell his wife in the context of this (getting him pregnant, lmao). And what was most appealing to me was Torse calling Maxwell his wife because of the way Daisuke and Bert are about Comfrey and Van respectively. Torse, not really understanding the divisions and deviations between romantic and platonic love, goes, “Oh, a wife is a friend that you show favoritism towards and want to protect and be around all of the time. A wife is a friend that you share some sort of fundamental personality trait with.”
For Comfrey and Daisuke it’s their “wildness.” For Bert and Van it’s How Caring They Are. And so Torse takes all of that and goes, “Maxwell’s my wife.” Lmao.
So just extrapolating from there, it would be even more hilarious if someone — not knowing Torse has come to this kind of semi-mistaken conclusion — explains that some partners will start families together as a kind of emblem of their eternal love. Creating a life together to even further solidify their bond. And Torse, who thinks Maxwell is his wife because they’re two peas in a pod and Torse cares for him, goes, “oh so, the reason I feel like this is because I wanna get Maxwell pregnant. Got it.”
And thus, a beautifully confused robot man now wants to get his good friend pregnant through a series of hilarious misunderstandings that no one realizes he harbors until he introduces Maxwell to someone as “his wife.”
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Had a thought that Grace technically never used reverse translation for Rocky, and Rocky understood him without a translator because he basically learned the language himself.
And you know all those jokes and headcanons about Rocky swearing every other word like any self-respecting engineer would, right? And Grace most likely did enter all those words into the translator, but replaced them with softer censored equivalents because he himself doesn’t really swear so the idea that someone might be talking to him in profanity every other sentence probably never even crossed his mind.
Now imagine this. They finally arrive to Erid. Grace desperately wants to make a good first impression, so he spends days hunched over his laptop, painstakingly assembling a greeting speech out of fragments from Rocky’s recordings.
And the resulting first contact speech sounds… bad. Like really bad. He turns the laptop toward the delegation looking unbelievably proud of himself. Presses play. And the computer proceeds to unleash a magnificent torrent of multilayered alien profanity stitched together from fragments of Rocky’s voice. Grace has absolutely no idea.
Rocky watched all of these preparations in silence the entire time, making those sly whistling noises that could absolutely be interpreted as laughter. Rocky's proud.
Meanwhile the Eridians are just thinking: "Yep. Okay. This leaky space blob really did spend years with our Rocky."
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