poppypups —> frankenmasc

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

this fucking girl on bumble sent me like three shy anime girl images and said like “uhmm… hi you seem really cool 😖😖 i’m so nervous” and it fr pissed me off so bad i deleted the app

all the people saying “you fumbled this girl! i want her” how does it feel to be a sucker

Here in the great cosmic mistake we call western civilization, vast swaths of ppl are utterly convinced that terrible misfortune either only happened in the past or only happens in other places. This is an article of faith which supercedes the evidence of their own eyes and ears. I dunno what to do with these people. Trying to talk to them about current events that are currently eventing right in front of them is like trying to talk to a cartoon elf from a tv show for babies. They're like "[thing that was literally on the fucking news a day ago] could never, ever happen here in Happyland where bad things never happen, and talking about it makes me sad. Why do you want to make people sad? :( Nobody's sad in Happyland. :)"

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

"it's a tv show" "it's not real" i don't care. NO SHOES ON THE BED

dadwallet: a condition in which you let your wallet fall apart and disintegrate without ever considering getting a new wallet

shia labeouf DIE. brad pitt DIE. chris brown DIE. johnny depp DIE. cristiano ronaldo DIE. conor mcgregor DIE. die die die die die die die DIE. every single abuser DIE. if you support them DIE TWICE!

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

i had to adapt to fucking survive