The Prettiest Star

slamming your knights visor down when you’re finished talking to them, like slamming the phone back on the receiver.

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack

*comes across a slight inconvenience* me: you know what would solve this ????? death

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

It’s literally like…… help!! lol. help me!!!! haha.

Yaaaawn! Call me when they're covered in blood and having gay sex

”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????

love wearing all black in public i hope no large gaseous heat emitting orb in the sky comes along and makes my day worse