first off, fuck ya bitch & the clique you claim💋

I love locking my door like…you’re not coming in lmfao

This post is honestly so iconic like every time I lock my door I literally think about this

i hope u find someone that mindlessly plays with your hands and lightly strokes your legs and massages your back and plays with your hair and i hope that u feel like you’re home when u look at them

I was out with a bunch of people this weekend and this guy suddenly went “man I miss my wife” and went home. like…I want that

got an oil change and the guy told me i needed a tire rotation. lmao, the tires are rotating every time i drive it, that’s how it works. idiot.

Stage 5: Mlem

This is a perfect description.

god gave me two hands so i can grab both tiddies at the same time