I have no idea how to breathe.

can i be honest tho i kinda hate makeup bc i love licking my lips and rubbing my hands on my face like a cat or a fly annd i also love wiping my eyes like a sleepy infant all the time so basically i cant do it

Ok looks like you all DEFINITELY know thank GOD but also this might be skewed because this is tumblr dot com

Update. At the convention. I’ve gotten several incredulous “are you from MY IMMORTAL?!?!?”

chronically depressed pokemon trainer and the absol that she didn't pick but she just has because it showed up one time

she keeps it around because she recognizes it’s probably good for her long-term, and her therapist agrees, but it is very annoying to have a fluffy creature in your house that constantly inconveniences you by messing up plans you haven’t even made yet. she comes home from work and she can’t cook dinner because all the kitchen knives are gone. she wakes up in the morning and all the non-essential pills are missing from the medicine cabinet. her car’s gas is siphoned sometimes. how the fuck does a pokemon even learn to siphon a car’s gas tank? but she’s still here and she’s slowly making it day by day and things, verrrrrry slowly, are getting better

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

Hey you can’t really like. Do anything about somebody perceiving your behavior as rude. Like they’re not telling you you’re doing something illegal they’re just saying hey you’re kinda being a shithead. It’s not discrimination or oppression for somebody to tell you you’re acting like a shithead rn.

I’m pretty sure this is also the same kind of person who is physically compelled to get on someone else’s post and explain why THEY PERSONALLY have the One Correct Reason to not listen to rap or eat at Chik-fil-A or use ChatGPT or or or or. They obsessively crave universal validation so they don’t have to confront the fact that their actions have consequences and also say things about their character.

There is a really huge gap between "illegal" and "socially unacceptable". It's actually a mark of a free society that people can legally do things that don't cause significant harm to others, even though most people hate those things. Examples include cheating on your spouse and playing TikTok videos loudly in public spaces.

"You snooze you lose" anti nap propaganda, changing it to "you snooze yaaaaayyyyyy yippeeeee"

My understanding is that she’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes

My understanding is that she’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

Best post I've seen all day